002

[forceofnature]

[voice, public]
[Viridi has learned her lesson.

...Well no she hasn't she never does, but she can at least recognize the fact that the people here were too stupid to be expected to understand why gods needed to communicate the way they did.  Or how, exactly, this sort of communication worked. 

The telepathic broadcast is once again aimed to everyone within the city.  Instead of ringing directly in the ears of the unwashed masses, though, it seems to be reverberating from their communications devices instead.  There's an oddly echoing quality to it, and they'll find that her voice is impossible to shut off through the COMP, but hey.  She tried.]

So.

You've all been busy.  Paying visits to the mysterious 'Velvet Room', huh?

I couldn't help but notice that you're all practically lining up out the door to do favors for some strangers you don't know from Adam.  I'd call it altruistic, but we all know you're just hoping to get some shiny trinkets out of it.  A new weapon here, a better Persona there...  Call me crazy, but it's almost like you're making offerings in the hopes of receiving a blessing from some higher power you're pretty sure is benevolent.  Isn't it weird how familiar that sounds?  And you know, come to think of it, I could use a spare hand for some fetch quests, too.  Since you're all just so eager to be helpful, I'm sure you have time to spare.

Of course, I don't need anyone's faith, but a few favors here and there might just mean some handy-dandy divine intervention in your future.  I'm a goddess of my word.

You can even ask Pit!  My Treasure Hunt board had the ideal balance of difficulty to reward.  Palutena's was the lamest thing ever and Hades basically made his for sadists.  So act fast!  Once I've got what I want, you're just plain old out of luck.

Comments

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

Maybe people do favors for them because they're nice.

[forceofnature]

Maybe people do favors for them because they've forgotten what it means to be an angel and who they're actually supposed to be working for.

[deathboss]

Hell no, Hades never gave any fetch quests to anyone!

[forceofnature]

...OK, so technically, the boards were just named after us, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if Hades was the type to hand out pointless side-quests to prolong play time. ...I mean. His inevitable demise.

It's a hallmark of evil, you know.

[greyerrant]

I do not bend to them anymore than I bend to you.

[forceofnature]

Have you thought about adding toe-touches to your workout regimen? Flexibility is vital to the success of any good mindless berserker.

[bondsofsuffering]

If the job's fun, I'm sure people will want to help you out too.

Although... You're a goddess? I didn't realize even the divine were brought here.

[forceofnature]

I'm here entirely of my own volition.

A world in need deserves someone who has its best interests at heart. Someone who knows the will of the planet. Someone who can keep all of you from messing up things. Think of me as the Red Cross. Mother Nature-style.

[This is more or less the exact opposite of the truth.]

[ineedthemforanalyzing]

...well, I do really like these hairpins, but I helped out Miss Caroline because she asked nicely.

[forceofnature]

Judging higher powers by whether or not they're 'nice' is the fastest way to earn a ticket to the next life. Sure, Hades is a riot at our parties, but will you still be laughing after he takes your soul?

[maybe_a_king]

I do run a delivery business, Miss Viridi. If you would like me to deliver or pick something up for you, just let me know.

[She won't even charge the first few times out of a show of goodwill.]

[forceofnature]

Can you fly?

[greatergone]

It is weird. I was told that I was to do this for the benefit of humans but why would I wish to support such a cause?

But, if you are willing to help, I wouldn't be against doing small tasks.

[forceofnature]

That's entirely the wrong way to think about it.

Humans are just apes that maintain a facsimile of intelligence. I'm here to save this world and all of its natural life. Not to help the humans return to their former genocidal glory. Being knocked down a few pegs won't hurt 'em.

But right now, that means working with these people, no matter how much they can't stand me or vice-versa.

[killervocabulary]

[...okay, Ginia had done well and good to ignore her COMP for a while, but this had not happened before. This voice is supposedly divine, out to reward mortals for tasks, condescending about how mortals operate...]

Are you a Daedra?

[forceofnature]

Viridi, actually.

What's Adaedra? One of Poseidon's daughters?

voice;

[selfgodded]

Oh, are you in need of assistance? Although you are not human, I am more than happy to extend a helping hand if you need it! Altruism breeds happy feelings, I am told.

I have been told proper advertising is necessary when extending helping hands though - oh, hold on...

[You know the drill - crazy text time]

~*anant is offering assistance. assistance.*~

ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)

(ノ￣ω￣)ノ

assistance.

There. Is that good?

[forceofnature]

-_-;

Um. Perfect. That's exactly what I'm going for here.

[nyxterious]

I think some might just want to help out. I know I'm not interested in a new weapon, or Persona.

[As weird as that is.]

I just like helping people. It makes them happy, doesn't it? That's the usual case, anyway. So, if you need help, I would be happy with helping you with what you needed! Nothing makes me happier than making others happy.

[forceofnature]

...





Are you a robot? Did someone toggle the 'serve all humans' switch? Which law was that again?

[tangentlion]

Do you ever shut up?! Fractal!!

Though I'm interested in what kind of stuff you can give me. If I decided to help your zetta loud mouth, that is.

[forceofnature]

Gee. A complex mathematical set. I'm wounded beyond words.

Sorry, bub. No revealing the treasure beforehand. It's right in the manual under Section IIIb: Giving Pointless Side-quests.

[Audio]

[getoutclaus]

A God of nature babbling on about treasure? And I thought money was the root of all evil.

Seriously, though, I'm only after the shiny trinkets like a horse chasing a carrot on a stick. Show me the carrot and you have my axe, crazy nature girl.

[forceofnature]

It is. But we're using 'treasure hunt' here as an idiom; the last thing I want is for you to go mining for gold.

We can start off simple - I want to know more about the Mictlan. Bring me some sample of rocks from the mountain so I can run some tests. At least one should be taken during the 13th Hour.

Think you can handle it?

[video]

[electricyousei]

"Actually, through listening to what they want I was trying to come to a greater understanding of the denizens of the Velvet room, but if there is something I can help you with please feel free to ask. A break in the tedium of system setup can be welcome."

[video]

[forceofnature]

That's an ulterior motive, too. Probably the best one, given the circumstances, but I can tell you now that you're going to get far fetching them new panties or anything.

[stolemylook]

[Oh boy; he thought he felt a whine was going to happen some time today.]

No one's going to want to do you favors.

[forceofnature]

No one asked you for help. And I'll have you know I've already gotten at least three offers.