002

[forceofnature]

[voice, public]
[Viridi has learned her lesson.

...Well no she hasn't she never does, but she can at least recognize the fact that the people here were too stupid to be expected to understand why gods needed to communicate the way they did.  Or how, exactly, this sort of communication worked. 

The telepathic broadcast is once again aimed to everyone within the city.  Instead of ringing directly in the ears of the unwashed masses, though, it seems to be reverberating from their communications devices instead.  There's an oddly echoing quality to it, and they'll find that her voice is impossible to shut off through the COMP, but hey.  She tried.]

So.

You've all been busy.  Paying visits to the mysterious 'Velvet Room', huh?

I couldn't help but notice that you're all practically lining up out the door to do favors for some strangers you don't know from Adam.  I'd call it altruistic, but we all know you're just hoping to get some shiny trinkets out of it.  A new weapon here, a better Persona there...  Call me crazy, but it's almost like you're making offerings in the hopes of receiving a blessing from some higher power you're pretty sure is benevolent.  Isn't it weird how familiar that sounds?  And you know, come to think of it, I could use a spare hand for some fetch quests, too.  Since you're all just so eager to be helpful, I'm sure you have time to spare.

Of course, I don't need anyone's faith, but a few favors here and there might just mean some handy-dandy divine intervention in your future.  I'm a goddess of my word.

You can even ask Pit!  My Treasure Hunt board had the ideal balance of difficulty to reward.  Palutena's was the lamest thing ever and Hades basically made his for sadists.  So act fast!  Once I've got what I want, you're just plain old out of luck.

Comments

[forceofnature]

That's entirely the wrong way to think about it.

Humans are just apes that maintain a facsimile of intelligence. I'm here to save this world and all of its natural life. Not to help the humans return to their former genocidal glory. Being knocked down a few pegs won't hurt 'em.

But right now, that means working with these people, no matter how much they can't stand me or vice-versa.

[greatergone]

[He can't really argue the point since he really has no idea.]

I guess that's easy to understand. Nothing else seems to be possible, at the least. The only answer is to work with them.

[forceofnature]

Do you have that slide show ready yet, by any chance?

[greatergone]

Yes but...I don't think this technology can display holograms properly. Is that okay?

[forceofnature]

What do you mean? I won't be able to see it through these dinky little communicator things?

[greatergone]

It would be a flat image as opposed to a three dimensional one.

[forceofnature]

Oh.

No, I don't care about that. I can use my imagination to fill in the blanks; badly executed 3D just gives me a headache, anyway. I always turn the slider down.

[greatergone]

Badly...?

[Right, whatever.

He hits a few buttons on his wrist and the feed becomes a slideshow. Pictures of mountains whose peaks are still white with snow, open plains that aren't being farmed and inhabited with wild animals, and most importantly, cities whose geography and color match the environment well. It's a warm and dry planet but filled with a civilization that clearly skipped the industrial age and somehow went straight into clean technology and began colonizing other planets while their own was still fairly unpopulated by the univerese's standards.]

[forceofnature]

[Viridi, for once in her eternal existence, watches quietly without making a sound save for a soft sigh in the beginning. She maintains her silence for a few moments after the video is done playing.]

This is really representative of your planet? Nothing's Photoshopped?

[greatergone]

There are many worlds in our Empire but this is the planet we originated from. It's called T'au and my name is Shas'la T'au Kais, to signify that I grew up there. So yes, I can verify that these images are real.

[forceofnature]

Hm.

[That's all she vocalizes, but it's easy enough to judge from her unnatural silence that the images have struck a chord with her.]

I'd show you pictures of my world if you could see it through the smog from the mass destruction. Maybe after a few more Reset Bombs.

[greatergone]

I can already imagine. I was deployed once to a human 'manufactory world' and it was disgusting.

[forceofnature]

I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and pretending I didn't just hear that phrase. I want to be able to get to sleep tonight.

Anyway.

...Thanks for the show. We'll consider that your favor for today.

[greatergone]

You're....welcome. [No idea what's going to come from favors, though.]

[forceofnature]

Your prize is...

That you stay fertile another day!!!! Isn't it great?!




...

I'm kidding. You can laugh.

[greatergone]

[More like taking it too seriously.]

My name most likely will never be drawn to participate in that kind of activity.

[forceofnature]

...You have to get permission for that kind of thing?

I can see why, but I never thought any sapient species would have the restraint for that. You must have downregulated androgen production.

[greatergone]

We don't get permission. We're given a genetic match at a random point of time and told to have a child and raise it.

[forceofnature]

So much for natural selection.

I guess this eliminates the problem of passing down genetic disorders. Humans are so squeamy about the reproductive rights of their own kind, and yet they slaughter everything else with reckless abandon.

[greatergone]

It has worked best for us so I have no reason to complain.

[forceofnature]

Still, there's something to be said for encouraging natural evolution.

Whatever. I'm not the goddess of your planet as easy of a job as that would be.