VERY Public.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

*Somebody might've gone to find out why his face was on that book. Somebody might've found out about his book persona.

...

Sometime later, on pretty much every network...*

I'M MARRIED, FOR CRIMINY'S SAKE!

*We'll just ignore how he figured out how to code.*

Comments

text; anon

[quakega]

Sounds like I'm not the only one that isn't a fan. [Understatement of the year.]

Re: text; anon

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Not that I'm not a prime example of manly handsomeness, but give me a break already! If this takes off, Elaine's gonna end up on hit lists!

*We'll just ignore the very real danger that he's going to be teased for the rest of his life for this.

text; anon

[quakega]

... I'm worried about a few people I care about, too. A few of them aren't here, but the ones that are would be good targets for persistent fangirls.

Whoever thought up this garbage needs their head examined.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Or at least come up with less lousy pseudonyms.

[quakega]

[You can't see it or hear it, but anon is rolling his eyes in agreement.] No kidding. Even I could think up better names than that, and I suck at thinking up names.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I'm pretty sure just replacing or adding letters here or there isn't really a reliable method of creating innovative characters.

[quakega]

It isn't. [Not that he's an expert.]

I don't know what's worse; the fact that someone's stalked us enough to write about us, or the fact that people actually enjoy reading this.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I think the fact that this outsells the works of Shakespeare by 3-to-1 is enough to make me mourn for the literacy of this terrible, post-apocalyptic world.

[islandshore]

What I want to know is where the heck they even get the ideas for that dumb book. It sounds like something a twelve year old would write.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Yeah, I've seen better romance novels out of a 10 yen bargain bin.

*Or from Elaine.*

[islandshore]

And I take it you're one of the unlucky saps who got written into that mess. I know someone else who did.

Makes me wonder if it's supposed to be some sick brand of flattery.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Considering what I've seen of the fangirls for these things, I'd say it's more like a sort of attempted murder.

[islandshore]

...Point. You guys might wanna start carrying around pepper spray at this point.

Just be glad there isn't a movie or TV adaptation yet.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

To be fair, I've seen her fight off fifty pirates at once and barely even get her hair mussed.

And there'd better not be, they'd probably pick entirely the wrong actor to represent my rugged good looks.

[islandshore]

...That's pretty intense. And pirates have to be at least a little more threatening than rabid fangirls.

And isn't that how it usually goes with adaptations? Unless they approached you to star in it, but I've got a feeling that wouldn't help with the unnecessary publicity.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Honestly, by less than you'd think.

And as much as I'd like to show off my acting chops, I think I'd hold out for a better script.

[islandshore]

Maybe someone should write something decent to counter all this tacky werefox garbage.

Not that I'd expect it to change people's preferences.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I think I might know someone.

*And she was a best-seller in the Caribbean to boot!*

[islandshore]

They here with you?

[Because, if so, they might have a pretty clear shot. Not that he knows the best seller bit.]

text only

[terminalemulation]

Oh, congratulations! I see you've been exploring the different coding tricks available for text posts on the COMP network. I would like to request you moderate your usage of some of the more attention grabbing tags in the future, but considering the current situation, I can definitely understand your... ...vehemence.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I'm not even sure how I did that to be honest.

[terminalemulation]

The COMPs are a compromise between magic and technology, so I'm not surprised that a sufficient amount of willpower could also do the trick! ...It's something that fascinates me, actually, since I have to do everything the traditional way myself.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Never had anything like this back home. Too futuristic. Heck, I don't think anybody could've even imagined stuff like this even after a night of drinking bad grog.

VERY private

[plunderbunny]

[She has half a mind to stomp down to his apartment and demand answers, but she doesn't want anyone else seeing her upset about the competition a dumb romance novel. So have an angry call.]

Guybrush!

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I swear I don't know how it happened, plunderbunny! The author must've been picking names out of a hat or something! You know the only book I'd ever want to have a character inspired after me is one of yours!

[plunderbunny]

[She takes a deep breath between her teeth, then sighs. She's no stranger to Guybrush's tall tales, but she can tell he's not lying this time.]

That's the other thing. With everyone preoccupied with this shoddy excuse for writing, no one's been giving my books so much as a second glance. If they think they can get away with this, they've got another thing coming. This means war.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

*Oooooooh boy. Ain't no war like a literary war.*

Just try not to dangle too many participles in the process, sweetie.

text

[fools_journey]

I guess at least you had a little practice fighting through fangirls in the hospital.

Re: text

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

You'd be amazed how quickly they get distracted by the call of "look, a 6-packed alien."

Voice

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

I don't think that's going to stop anyone, mate. Sorry.

[It's not like there's something out there that does this with her... or is there?

Spoilers, there probably is.]

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Man, I never thought I'd see a book I starred in that was WORSE than the one I wrote.

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

I don't think I even wanna know.

'Sides, they probably didn't get you right anyway.