Video post to the public network

[tyrantball]

The feed snaps on to once again reveal Desco, although she's nowhere near as upset as the last time.

"Hello! Desco here!"

She briefly clears her throat before launching into her - obviously rehearsed - spiel.

"Desco was thinking about what she could do to fix all the incredibly obvious problems with humanity's political model, and she eventually decided to start small! Progress starts at the bottom and works its way upwards, you know. Just like how a hero starts off grinding on slimes in the starting area!"

She nods to herself, obviously proud of her BRILLIANT AND TOTALLY RELEVANT METAPHOR.

"So today, Desco is going to deliver a public service announcement to allll of Hinoto-Ri!"

With that, she holds up a crayon drawing of what looks like...a penguin?

"This is a Prinny! They are from Desco's home of Hades! They are a very important part of the industrial complex there!"

She tosses the drawing over her shoulder, smiling broadly.

"Desco has recently figured out that there is a deplorable lack of knowledge about Prinnies, so she has decided to educate you on them! And lucky for you, Desco is a highly-paid teacher at Evil Academy, the greatest school in the Netherworld!"

A slight pause.

"Also, in case you can't figure it out, Desco is also indulging in needless self-promotion while delivering this message. If you are struck by how amazing Desco is, she is still accepting minion applications!"

A broad smile as she holds up another piece of paper, this time with her contact number directly scribbled in crayon on it.

"Prinnies are sinful human souls! In life, they were terrible people that were complete failures as human beings! When they died, they went directly to Hades, where they were encased in Prinny Hide and subjected to intense, borderline sadistic lessons in order to become fine Prinnies!"

She pauses briefly in order to allow the the viewers to digest this message. She holds up the sign with her contact number again while she's at it.

"Once the training is finished, the Prinnies are shipped out to Netherworlds all over the universe, where they do menial labor and other degrading, thankless chores in exchange for less than minimum wage! When they have saved up enough money, they can pay off their sins and Death will take them away to be reincarnated!"

Her demeanor suddenly becomes serious.

"And now, Desco reaches the public service portion. Recently, Prinnies have started appearing in Hinoto-Ri during the Thirteenth Hour, and they are taking this time to slack off and indulge in idle chatter and frequent cigarette breaks. This is no good at all! A Prinny that is slacking off in his free time will soon start to slack off when working, and if a Prinny doesn't work his sins will never be forgiven! Therefore, if you see a Prinny during the Thirteenth Hour, Desco implores you to BRUTALLY ASSAULT them, for the sake of their tarnished souls!"

...she is entirely serious about this.

"Please, please, keep the cycle of reincarnation going! Beat a Prinny today!"

Comments

[text] [anon]

[demifemme]

i can understand wantin 2 keep reincarnation goin

but

is it rly necessary 2 "brutally assault" them

audio

[tyrantball]

From the tone of her voice, you can tell she's never thought of that before.

"Desco...guesses it's not? But Prinnies aren't really worth much - it only costs one HL to fix them up - so it doesn't really matter how much force is used! And it's fun to beat them up, because they explode when you do!"

[text] [anon]

[demifemme]

they explode???

[video]

[selematpagi]

... but that's a penguin. Not a demon. A penguin with shoes.

[ Everything Desco has just said has gone straight over Yukko's head, and she's spent all of this time trying to figure out what the heck that drawing was of. ]

[video] FGFDGHJGSDJDHKL I WAS JUST WATCHING NICHIJOU

[tyrantball]

"Those aren't shoes, those are peg legs!"

Are you casting aspersions on the Final Boss' drawing skills?!

Video

[emperor_penguin]

...Y'know, I really feel like I oughta be insulted by somethin' here, and I think I would be if anything you just said made any goddamn sense at all.

[Penguins gotta stick together, okok.]

Video

[tyrantball]

Desco just stares at you for a while, eyes wide in wonder.

And then:

"You're a penguin!"

[Video] [Private]

[bakegarasu]

[Okay so he wouldn't normally respond, but he feels he kind of owes it to Desco to let her know.]

... The whole 'soul moving something around' thing is kinda familiar for me...

[He grabs onto his amulet.]

[Video] [Private]

[tyrantball]

Desco is wide-eyed.

"Really, Uncle Otoha? But Desco had to tell you what Prinnies were. Does that mean you have something like Prinnies in your world?"

<--THE POINT----










DESCO'S HEAD

[Video]

[trollsdragons]

...that's certainly an interesting way to go about running the afterlife, I must say.

[Video]

[tyrantball]

Desco beams at this.

"Isn't it?! Desco is very proud of the part she plays in upholding this proud and noble system!"

video

[testsubject031]

That thing's a demon? It looks like a little bird...

video

[tyrantball]

"They're penguin dolls filled with the souls of murderers, thieves, and conmen!"

So cheerful as she says this.

video

[halberdaxe]

[Well Noda's been killing all the demons that pop out...]

So they're lazy penguins. Any other reason why we should go out our way to kill them?

[Pls tell him they explode]

video

[tyrantball]

Desco pulls herself up proudly and begins to list the many reasons why Prinnies are fun to beat up.

"When they were alive, they were all terrible people! If you were ever stolen from, lied to, or taken advantage of, then the Prinny you beat up might have been the one that did it! Also, they have beady little eyes that just make you want to punch them right in their dumb faces!"

And then, she gives you her best dazzling, radiant smile.

"Desco's favorite part is how they explode when defeated! And then that explosion makes all the ones near it explode, so it's like playing with dominoes!"

[maybe_a_king]

So where you come from the sinful become.... penguins?

[Wat?]

[tyrantball]

"Hello Miss Arturia!"

Greeting complete, Desco nods.

"Explosive penguins!"

Video

[jazzandtiramisu]

Have a demon giving you all sorts of unsure faces.

"That kind of Hell doesn't sound all that fun..."

Also he kind of missed the point because torturing penguins doesn't sound fun. Although...

"Plus, if you kill them, doesn't that get rid of your workforce?"

Video

[tyrantball]

Desco blinks.

"Why are so many people asking Desco that? Even when they explode, it only costs one HL to fix them up again!"

Video

[not_heavens_adam]

Johnny's all smiles and fatherly praise for you, Desco.

"Ah, what a lovely announcement, Desco. I think you'll turn this place around in no time!" Unconditional support, that is what vampiric uncles are for, right?

[Video, private]

[tyrantball]

Yaaay, praise! Also Desco has EXCITING NEWS. She presses the button to make this a private conversation.

"Thank you, Uncle Johnny! Also, also, Uncle Otoha told Desco something REALLY GREAT!"

And she's beaming like a hundred-watt bulb.

"He doesn't age! Desco will never have to say goodbye! And, and, and, he promised that when Desco starts dating once she turns 2100, he'll be there to scare her boyfriends!"

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

[...That's strange but she knows nothing about how the afterlife works anyway. What really throws Faris off is...]

If you're some kinda demon teacher, what're you lookin' for minions for?

[She's not interested, just curious, sad to say.]

[tyrantball]

"To take over the world!"

The Final Boss is always perfectly straightforward in everything she does.

Video

[celebrity_commentator]

[She should really know better than to ask by now, but...]

Um...is everything from your 'Netherworld' cute?

Video

[tyrantball]

"Hello Miss Rise! Desco hasn't seen you in a while!"

Desco actually has to stop and think about your question after her greeting.

"The zombies are pretty gross looking, but they're really useful so Desco overlooks that. Slimes don't have any redeeming features, though! They are just big slimy goo piles that wear skulls."