QUEEN SASSMOUTH (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tyrantball) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
compnetwork2013-03-25 11:40 am
tyrantball) wrote in compnetwork2013-03-25 11:40 am
Video post to the public network
The feed snaps on to once again reveal Desco, although she's nowhere near as upset as the last time.
"Hello! Desco here!"
She briefly clears her throat before launching into her - obviously rehearsed - spiel.
"Desco was thinking about what she could do to fix all the incredibly obvious problems with humanity's political model, and she eventually decided to start small! Progress starts at the bottom and works its way upwards, you know. Just like how a hero starts off grinding on slimes in the starting area!"
She nods to herself, obviously proud of her BRILLIANT AND TOTALLY RELEVANT METAPHOR.
"So today, Desco is going to deliver a public service announcement to allll of Hinoto-Ri!"
With that, she holds up a crayon drawing of what looks like...a penguin?
"This is a Prinny! They are from Desco's home of Hades! They are a very important part of the industrial complex there!"
She tosses the drawing over her shoulder, smiling broadly.
"Desco has recently figured out that there is a deplorable lack of knowledge about Prinnies, so she has decided to educate you on them! And lucky for you, Desco is a highly-paid teacher at Evil Academy, the greatest school in the Netherworld!"
A slight pause.
"Also, in case you can't figure it out, Desco is also indulging in needless self-promotion while delivering this message. If you are struck by how amazing Desco is, she is still accepting minion applications!"
A broad smile as she holds up another piece of paper, this time with her contact number directly scribbled in crayon on it.
"Prinnies are sinful human souls! In life, they were terrible people that were complete failures as human beings! When they died, they went directly to Hades, where they were encased in Prinny Hide and subjected to intense, borderline sadistic lessons in order to become fine Prinnies!"
She pauses briefly in order to allow the the viewers to digest this message. She holds up the sign with her contact number again while she's at it.
"Once the training is finished, the Prinnies are shipped out to Netherworlds all over the universe, where they do menial labor and other degrading, thankless chores in exchange for less than minimum wage! When they have saved up enough money, they can pay off their sins and Death will take them away to be reincarnated!"
Her demeanor suddenly becomes serious.
"And now, Desco reaches the public service portion. Recently, Prinnies have started appearing in Hinoto-Ri during the Thirteenth Hour, and they are taking this time to slack off and indulge in idle chatter and frequent cigarette breaks. This is no good at all! A Prinny that is slacking off in his free time will soon start to slack off when working, and if a Prinny doesn't work his sins will never be forgiven! Therefore, if you see a Prinny during the Thirteenth Hour, Desco implores you to BRUTALLY ASSAULT them, for the sake of their tarnished souls!"
...she is entirely serious about this.
"Please, please, keep the cycle of reincarnation going! Beat a Prinny today!"
"Hello! Desco here!"
She briefly clears her throat before launching into her - obviously rehearsed - spiel.
"Desco was thinking about what she could do to fix all the incredibly obvious problems with humanity's political model, and she eventually decided to start small! Progress starts at the bottom and works its way upwards, you know. Just like how a hero starts off grinding on slimes in the starting area!"
She nods to herself, obviously proud of her BRILLIANT AND TOTALLY RELEVANT METAPHOR.
"So today, Desco is going to deliver a public service announcement to allll of Hinoto-Ri!"
With that, she holds up a crayon drawing of what looks like...a penguin?
"This is a Prinny! They are from Desco's home of Hades! They are a very important part of the industrial complex there!"
She tosses the drawing over her shoulder, smiling broadly.
"Desco has recently figured out that there is a deplorable lack of knowledge about Prinnies, so she has decided to educate you on them! And lucky for you, Desco is a highly-paid teacher at Evil Academy, the greatest school in the Netherworld!"
A slight pause.
"Also, in case you can't figure it out, Desco is also indulging in needless self-promotion while delivering this message. If you are struck by how amazing Desco is, she is still accepting minion applications!"
A broad smile as she holds up another piece of paper, this time with her contact number directly scribbled in crayon on it.
"Prinnies are sinful human souls! In life, they were terrible people that were complete failures as human beings! When they died, they went directly to Hades, where they were encased in Prinny Hide and subjected to intense, borderline sadistic lessons in order to become fine Prinnies!"
She pauses briefly in order to allow the the viewers to digest this message. She holds up the sign with her contact number again while she's at it.
"Once the training is finished, the Prinnies are shipped out to Netherworlds all over the universe, where they do menial labor and other degrading, thankless chores in exchange for less than minimum wage! When they have saved up enough money, they can pay off their sins and Death will take them away to be reincarnated!"
Her demeanor suddenly becomes serious.
"And now, Desco reaches the public service portion. Recently, Prinnies have started appearing in Hinoto-Ri during the Thirteenth Hour, and they are taking this time to slack off and indulge in idle chatter and frequent cigarette breaks. This is no good at all! A Prinny that is slacking off in his free time will soon start to slack off when working, and if a Prinny doesn't work his sins will never be forgiven! Therefore, if you see a Prinny during the Thirteenth Hour, Desco implores you to BRUTALLY ASSAULT them, for the sake of their tarnished souls!"
...she is entirely serious about this.
"Please, please, keep the cycle of reincarnation going! Beat a Prinny today!"
Video
"Humans are kind of weird like that. It's not like it's hard to summon a demon or an angel and just ask them about the afterlife!"
Video
Video
Desco taps the tip of one crimson claw against her teeth as she thinks about this.
"In that case, Desco will just have to go to as many worlds as possible and make sure all the humans know their places in the cycle of the universe!"
Video
Most humans respond poorly to things like Shadows or Desco.
no subject
Slight pause.
"And terrible humans do things that are even worse than demons can think of! Acts of evil even more heinous than jaywalking with intent to loiter!"
no subject
no subject
"You mean even if people knew for certain that being terrible would make them the weakest, most abused and derided denizens of the Netherworld, they would keep being terrible?"
SHOCK. GIANT SHOCK.
"Desco really hopes they step up the manufacture of Prinny hide in Hades, then! It'd be bad if demand outstripped supply again."
no subject
no subject
"Really? Just a while ago there were so many terrible people that Hades was overflowing with Prinnies! It got to the point where Desco thought that Earth was slowly becoming a barren wasteland!"
Desco is just so surprised.
no subject
no subject
"That's great! It means that the demons in your world are doing their jobs! It must be a nice place to visit!"
no subject