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[The feed flicks on to show an image of a large blue penguin man, lounging on a couch that is a little too small to fully support his generous bulk. Hinoto-Ri's apartments are apparently not quite one size fits all. Still, though, he's making due.]

So... anybody else get the feeling that Madame Butterfly's aim mighta been just a tad off when he plucked you up outta your world to fight in his little war? I'm not exactly what most people think of when they hear the word 'hero,' after all. That Luigi fella, Samus - hell, even the Captain - any of them woulda been a much better choice. I've had enough conflict and bloodshed for one lifetime, and I sure as shootin' don't intend to get involved in another pointless turf war with no end in sight.

[Collecting himself for a moment, DeDeDe takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly in a long sigh. Glancing to his left, he affectionately pats the large hammer propped up next to him. Just a moment to reflect on a brighter time - days long since passed.]

But there's one thing I do know how to do, so I figure maybe I was brought here for that instead. I've been around this city once or twice, and all I see's a bunch of uptight prudes worryin' their heads off over every little thing. And y'know what all that worryin' is gonna get you in the end? Fat lot of nothin', that's what. You all need to relax a little - kick back, tie one on, let go a little bit and enjoy life. Trust me, you've got a good thing goin' here. This city's a nice place. Hell of a lot nicer than the shithole I came from, anyway. Take a minute to think about that and appreciate it. After all, all work and no play... well, you know the rest.

[He chuckles a bit before flashing a small smile.]

Well, I've said my piece. Take it or leave it. Now, where's a man go to have a little fun 'round here?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because you look like some fat guy cosplaying as King Dedede.

You watch your damn mouth. I'm the one who set you up with a job and a place to stay after the cannibal took out Angel Land. If it weren't for me, your ass'd be out on the streets like those immigrants in the slums, fightin' each other for scraps and beggin' for handouts.

I am not. The same. Pit. Why don't you take your own advice about loosening up for a change?

Hard to argue with that.

[Another laugh.]

Got just as much of a mouth on you as the one I know, though. Just be glad you don't have to use it to make a living like he does.

Whatever.

[ Thankfully Pit is "angel 13" and that soared right over his head.

Either because of that or because he is an idiot. ]

Anyway, the Zelda who's here probably isn't the one you know, either. And I don't mean different the way me and that other Pit are different. Sounds like you're from some weird Super Smash Brothers Brawl universe where everyone actually knows each other instead of it being just me because my latest game breaks the fourth wall a lot.

[ Mind, he's NOT BITTER about this. AT ALL!!!!!!! ]

If that's the case then you better get your eyes checked, 'cause that Zelda's from Ocarina of Time, not Twilight Princess. She's much, much prettier than the one in Twilight Princess!

Not that Twilight Princess Zelda is ugly. She's just kind of scary. And she kicked my butt a lot.

Edited 2013-02-11 02:22 (UTC)

[Thank goodness for that. Of course, based on the conversation so far, he half expected it to anyway. DeDeDe just smirks a bit.]

Prettier than the one back home, too. Thought somethin' was up the minute I saw her. Different worlds, though... that sure is a hell of a thing. Sounds like you all are from some kinda magical candyland world where nothin' ever goes wrong. Must be nice.

[He's not bitter about this either. Clearly.]

Not exactly...

[ There was that whole near brush with death thing. And knowing what he does about The Legend of Zelda... ]

Come to think of it, even Kirby got a raw deal in his last two games! First he was split into ten pieces, then he got betrayed by that little alien dude with pointy ears! But you were mean to him in the first one. I dunno about the second. It's like they can't make up their minds whether you're a bad guy or a good guy!

It was pretty funny though when you got pulled out of the ground with the flower on your head.

Kirby?

[Okay, yeah, different worlds or no, that definitely gets a reaction out of him. His entire body tenses with anger upon the mere mention of the name, and his fist tightens around the haft of his hammer.]

What the hell do you know about that piece of shit puffball?

I guess you went back to hating him.

[ do you ever just

wish your character was not such an idiot ]

Back to nothin' - that little fucker ruined my life! But I s'pose the Kirby you know is made of cotton candy and farts sunshine.

I don't think Kirby has a, um...

[ yeah let's not ]

...sorry to hear that.

...Well, what's done is done. Not much I can do about it anymore.

Your world sounds kinda messed up. I guess it's good Phil brought you here.

Messed up ain't even the half of it, kid.

Guess so.

My world's not so bad, all things considered. Things haven't been easy, especially not in my last game, but it's... Something I miss.

Not to brag or anything.

Yeah... sounds like it. Believe me, it could be a lot worse. And even the good times never last forever, so enjoy it while you can.

[ Pit's not sure what to say to that.

Times like these he wishes he were more experienced. Sure, he almost died, and sure, he's seen his share of war, but that's not enough, is it? He doesn't know what it's like to live a truly miserable life. All he can offer are pithy little statements that feel like they don't help at all.

He lowers his head, rubbing his hair--and, in the process, knocking his laurel crown at a crooked angle. ]

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Yeah.

[DeDeDe lets out a small chuckle and smiles a bit. It's definitely the world-weary smile of someone who's seen things no man ever should. But the penguin is nothing if not a survivor, and if nothing else, he always knows how to make the best of a bad situation. If you can't smile even when the world's dealing you nothing but shit cards, you're as good as dead anyway, he figures.]

Prob'ly got off on the wrong foot there, but it wasn't all bad. You take care of yourself, now.

[As gruff and unwashed as his demeanor is, and as bitter as he is about the state of his world at home, there's still a noble heart of sorts under that rough exterior. DeDeDe doesn't truly wish misfortune on anybody ~~except Kirby~~, and it warms his heart just a little to see a hale and hearty Pit here in Hinoto-Ri.]

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