compnetwork | [video]

When the feed snaps on, the camera is apparently pointing directly at what appears to be a giant golden eye. There's a slight noise of irritation and the viewpoint jerks upward a little to reveal the face of something that...looks like a little girl? Maybe? Her bangs part around two small red horns growing out of her forehead, and there seems to be another of those golden eyes growing out of her hair. She addresses the camera in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Foolish mortals! Know that before you is DESCO, the Supreme Final Boss that will throw humanity into DESPAI -*hackwheeze*"

Please excuse her coughing fit, Final Boss Voice hurts her throat. Once she's done coughing, she'll continue in a slightly more normal little girl voice.

"The Supreme Final Boss that will plunge humanity into DESPAIR!"

She quickly consults what looks like a small notebook of some sort before looking up at the camera again.

"okay, now the laugh - Mwahahahaha!"

With that done, she beams at the camera with the expression of a small child that is extremely proud of themselves.

"Also, also, Desco is currently taking applications for the position of Minion to the Final Boss! Please contact Desco at her apartment!"

The feed cuts out then, before Desco bothers to say where her apartment actually is.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

More deadpan.

"Certainly, would you like a physical or data copy?"

"Physical!"

Desco claps her hands in glee.

"When Desco conquers this city, she will reserve one of the beautiful men for you as thanks!"

"Thank you very much, but really, all I want is a place to land my ship. Its too dangerous to get attached to people."

"Where would you like me to send the print out of the list to?"

"In that case, Desco will level a city section!"

Pause.

"Desco is in Libra 6-7."

The sound of an old dot matrix printer can be heard in the background.

"I'll have it for you in an hour. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Become Desco's minion!"

Well, can't say that was unexpected.

"I do consultant work as a Vizier but my current project doesn't allow for minioning."

"When your current project is over can Desco hire you to consult?"

She's persistent, at least.

"I can do part time consulting now, its just full time I can't commit to. Not until I know everything about this place and the various monsters that come out at the 13th hour."

"Understood!"

Desco pulls out her notebook and a small pencil.

"Can Desco ask what your hourly rates are?"

"I tend to work on a percentile base. Depends on the take of the plan."

"Desco is going to STEAL CHRISTMAS!"

Shiny happy face.

"If Desco gets her ransom money, she will pay you 5%!"

Time for haggling!

"10%, but you get to keep all of the hats."

Desco blinks in surprise. This takes a while.

"Wow, you're very good! How did you know exactly what Desco planned to settle at?"

"There is a rumor that all computer technicians are psychic. That being said I wouldn't think any more about it. Rumors are silly."

She nods.

"Desco understands! Are you available to go over Desco's preliminary plans on the seventeenth?"

"Just give me a call. I'll be available."