01 Text - Cult Recruitment!

[selfgodded]

hello residents of hinotori.

i am here today to extend a helpful hand to you all. what a dead world you reside in. a miracle you survive for so long. demons prowl and yet humans still manage to survive in the face of adversary. how does such a weak creature gain such strength. they are wild and conflicting in their ways. their emotions are inscrutable. perhaps it is those things that are their strengths.

they are like cockroaches. i mean that nicely. the humans of my world lived in a world that was dead. this one still has some life.

some.

in any case i should get to the point.

please excuse my poor literacy. i do not know how to write human very well. i am trying however. the spellchecker function on this is very useful.

the point.

cries of assistance was given. i enjoy helping humans. i wish to be benevolent to you. however power lies in faith and faith can only give power. my followers are no more so their prayers cannot reach me regardless. therefore i extend a hand.

i will be blunt. residents of hinotori join my cult.

:)

i added an emote of a smile because smiling is said to make people more relaxed when asking them of things. so please. consider my proposal.

:) :) :) :)

Comments

[text]

[pastalishe]

[Why... are all the deities that she encounters so--out of touch with reality?]

As a Holy Maiden, I find your presentation lacking the dignity and poise that befits organized religion. One does not simply advertise for a faithful congregation. [And it's not even a good advertisement to boot...........]

[text]

[selfgodded]

but if i do not tell the people that it exists they will not be able to join. i thought i was polite in my presentation.

although.

i have not recruited my own followers before. my old ones used to do it. i thought they merely asked and people joined. isn't that how humans join.

you ask. they make a choice.

unless there is human etiquette for these things. i must admit that i do not know all of the social laws.

[text]

[pastalishe]

There are much better ways to spread information than by sketchy posts over a network. Your post was many things, but I wouldn't necessarily call it polite.

While there are certain methods of conversion, I wouldn't call classify them as "etiquette." A better way to describe them would be "tactics."

[selfgodded]

i see. what tactics would i use to persuade people to my cult then. you seem very knowledgeable about these matters.

would you be willing to help me.

:) :) :) :)

[pastalishe]

[Hopeless. COMPLETELY HOPELESS...

And yet, she can't just leave it alone...]

I'll take your request under consideration.

First of all, don't use so many of those smiling faces. It's disingenuous, not to mention unprofessional.

[selfgodded]

oh dear. have i been told contradictory information. that is sad.

:(

very well. no more smiles.

[pastalishe]

Good. The only people that smile that often are sketchy salesmen who want to sell you shoddy knock-offs. [Never again, Guego. Never again. She learned her lesson. From now on, each and every one of her plush purchases must have a tag of authenticity!]

Secondly, when addressing the public, you must always take great care when choosing your words. In your address, you said that humans were "like cockroaches." It doesn't matter if you meant it nicely--no one wants to be compared to an insect.

[selfgodded]

cockroaches are durable. almost indestructible. i like cockroaches. i like humans. it seemed like an apt comparison.

perhaps wolves. although they are easily killed.

fur is not good armour. cut through like water.

[pastalishe]

They're also filthy. [At her heart of hearts, Cloche is still a young girl who doesn't like bugs.]

That is a somewhat better comparison. However, when addressing the public, it's best to keep your message as simple as possible. Going off on tangents is confusing for the audience.

[selfgodded]

humans go on tangents a lot though.

their thoughts flitter like flies. ziggzagging.

spiralling.

a lot.

shoud i have simply said 'please join my cult'.

it doesn't look right.

too bland.

dont humans like flashy things.

[pastalishe]

Again with the comparison to annoying insects... when you say things like that, it makes you seem disinterested.

Engaging the audience is another important aspect to public speaking, but you must not sacrifice the integrity of your message for that. After all--the message itself is the most important part of your address.

[... not that "please join my cult" is a very good way to spread the message...]

[selfgodded]

[There was a long pause before the next reply]

perhaps a demonstration would serve a use here. how would you have composed a recruitment post. i am genuinely interested to understand. i am flawed in my inability to comprehend and predict human reactions to certain things. or how to engage them.

[pastalishe]

Oh, very well. Would you mind if I take some time to prepare? When it comes to recruitment, I prefer to give speeches... and my bedroom is hardly the ideal backdrop for one.

[Never mind that she's already used it as one once already... but in her defense, she felt that time was of the essence when it came to informing people about her giant satellite.]

[selfgodded]

this is acceptable. your help makes me imitate happiness. thank you very much.

i know you said emoticons were bad but

:) <3 !!!

\o/

take all the time you require.