compnetwork | 01 Text - Cult Recruitment!

hello residents of hinotori. i am here today to extend a helpful hand to you all. what a dead world you reside in. a miracle you survive for so long. demons prowl and yet humans still manage to survive in the face of adversary. how does such a weak creature gain such strength. they are wild and conflicting in their ways. their emotions are inscrutable. perhaps it is those things that are their strengths. they are like cockroaches. i mean that nicely. the humans of my world lived in a world that was dead. this one still has some life. some. in any case i should get to the point. please excuse my poor literacy. i do not know how to write human very well. i am trying however. the spellchecker function on this is very useful. the point. cries of assistance was given. i enjoy helping humans. i wish to be benevolent to you. however power lies in faith and faith can only give power. my followers are no more so their prayers cannot reach me regardless. therefore i extend a hand. i will be blunt. residents of hinotori join my cult. :) i added an emote of a smile because smiling is said to make people more relaxed when asking them of things. so please. consider my proposal. :) :) :) :)

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OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO! Oh me oh my! I get the feeling you're serious, which just makes it even funnier!

Did you just try to convert people to some new religion by spamming emoticons?

yes i did. is it working. are you persuaded by the happy smiles i bestowed upon you.

Edited 2012-11-09 09:55 (UTC)

Oh...

[Anant sounds like you kicked their puppy]

...I see. Very well. If you ever change your mind the invitation is still there.

Edited 2012-11-09 09:57 (UTC)

I am not a pervert.

[Anant is scandalised at the thought]

I give humans a choice. They are free to join me, and free to revile me, or to mock me. I do not mind. They are also free to leave the cult whenever they wish. It is all about choice.

It is funny? Did I smile too much to the point where I am believed to be joking?

[Anant is openly fretting now]

I must confess. I do not comprehend. My offer is serious, yes, but there is nothing humorous about it.

[After so many rejections, even Anant was beginning to become downhearted - but no! Perseverance! A trait that they wished to emulate from the humans! They just had to be patient - willing followers would come by soon!]

A wonderful place, and similar to my own Nirvana, once everything ends. Patience is necessary when wanting to reach eternal peace - or you can take the short route and end your own life now to obtain it. Many humans are impatient that way.

Circumstances have never changed for me.

[Not after a millennium and a half.]

[A clearing of the throat, before he awkwardly begins:]

You, erm, do know that telling people to join your cult isn't really a positive thing? Because cults aren't big happy things where I come from. They're...they're scary, actually.

And also, the emote doesn't really help either, just so you know.

It doesn't?

[Anant sounds...thoroughly and utterly crushed]

But, I was told that smiling is best used when trying to persuade people, because smiling makes humans happy. I have observed this for myself. Does it not translate well in the written medium? Perhaps...does this work?

[You get a text!]

"8D"

So you have always resided within this world? If not, then a change in worlds is a change in circumstances.

The world is unimportant.

...You are a stubborn person, aren't you?

Quite stubborn indeed.

[is this guy even real.]

Well...yeah, you could say that. Because when you write it in text, it can seem rather fake, you know? Like you're pretending to be someone you're not.

[And a long pause.]

A real smile is worth more than a texted one any day to me. Lets me see if it's really a true one...

I see...

[Pause]

A real smile would be one where the face is visible, yes? A movement of facial muscles to pull the mouth upwards...I cannot do such a thing though. A shame.

[Anant's gloomy tone brightens]

However, smiling is not the sole way to attract others! Humans have multitudes of triggers and hooks to appeal to! I will simply have to observe and research!

Yes, it would have to be. That way people can make sure you're not lying, you know?

[Though that is a lie in and of itself, because he knows that people can lie even when they're face to face.]

But how come you can't? Is...don't you have a face? And yeah, I suppose you could, but if you don't have a face or don't show it too often, people will tend to trust you less.

I am amused by how stubbornness makes people rigid in the face of facts. Regardless, it is your decision whether you wish to believe in me, or not, and I shall not force it, for that is not true faith.

I have a face. I am just unable to create expressions like humans do. I do not understand how to move the muscles correctly.

[Anant sighs]

But this is troublesome. To think that a mask would automatically label me as 'distrustful'. Are people here just that guarded and careful...?

Khh. We'll see how your cult turns out.

[With no further pleasantries, he cuts the feed from his side, and goes to storm off and sulk. Gods. He'd hoped to be free of dealing with them for a while yet.]

You keep talking about you not being human...what are you, then? And why wouldn't you be able to move your face muscles? Isn't that what a face is used for...?

[A slight sigh.] Yeah, I'm sorry, but...people are just that way. I mean, maybe you'll be lucky to find someone who cares, but at the moment, people won't just give their hand freely to anyone who offers their own, you know?

I don't think you understand how this whole process works. You can't simply go up to people and go, "Hi, I'm a God, join my cult." At best, they'll laugh at you, and at worst you'll find yourself in a nice enclosed pen. You have to ADVERTISE these sorts of things, dearie! Really sell it. There has to be a solid reason for humans to join your little party, you know! We're inherently VERY selfish creatures. Do we get a free toaster? What's your party platform? Things like that.

For the record... even if you DID advertise it to me I wouldn't be interested. Oh ho ho ho ho!

Advertise? Party platform?

[Anant is genuinely befuddled, and it's clear in their tone]

I understand that humans are driven primarily by their self-interests, but I don't recall ever having to, um, 'sell myself' to them. I was free for them to use, and they were quite happy to have my assistance...

[Yeah. It's obvious. Anant is a very very very very naive and gullible god]

Oh my, how fabulous for you. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't quite operate that way. You're an unknown property, I'm afraid. Nobody goes traipsing off into the unknown with someone without a really solid reason; that's a good way to lose something. Possibly physical.

You're truly telling me you didn't have other Gods clashing with you? My, what a sainted life we've led.

I am not human. Therefore I do not understand them. I wish to learn though. Their faces are the most interesting part. So many muscles to do the most minute of shifts of expressions, thousands of words in an angle of a brow, or the mouth, or the narrowing of the eyes, or even the huff of breath, the tilt of the body, the shift of weight...

[Anant is openly gushing now]

A complex species, one that is beyond my understanding! They are something fascinating and lovely to behold...

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