1st Conception - Video

[darkbaptist]

[The communication starts with a hissing sound, like you'd hear in a low burn, and then focuses on the source of the noise: two skillets being set down on the burners of a stove. Around the counter viewers can make out cooking ingredients: a stick of butter, margerine, salt, eggs, chocolate, a whipping spoon. After a few seconds Hikawa begins to speak.]

As odd as it might seem to introduce myself in such a way, I would like to take a survey. A survey dealing on culinary tastes, you might say, to see what people would prefer.

It will be a simple choice focusing on two types of simple egg dishes. Most people seem to enjoy eggs, whether they be scrambled, poached, sunny side up, or what have you. But now matter how you might enjoy them there is a single base for all of them: butter.

[On camera the man takes a knife and, cutting a part from the block of butter, puts it into one of the skillets where it begins to melt.]

Not only does butter add flavor to the egg, but it keeps it from sticking to the pan and being burnt. But for the sake of those who perhaps don't like butter, let us try another substance to take its place. Let us say...chocolate.

[Hikawa breaks off a chunk of the chocolate in front of him and puts it in the other skillet. It begins to melt, sizzling a bit. Afterwards Hikawa breaks four eggs, putting two in each skillet and stirring each one as he continues to speak.]

While one might experiment in cooking, cooking also has rules that in the end cannot be denied if you want a satisfactory meal. You can replace some things in a dish, but you can't replace others, and if you go to far in your experimentation you make a dish none can enjoy instead of all.

So tell me. Which would you prefer. The eggs made with butter-

[He focuses the camera, showing a skillet of neat, well-made scrambled eggs.]

Or the dish made with chocolate?

[The other skillet, however, is not fairing so well. Much of the chocolate has burnt and stuck to the sides of the skillet, while turning the eggs it has mixed in an ugly brownish color. It seems to have failed as well to keep the eggs from sticking to the pan, as much of the eggs themselves is burnt into the metal of it, leaving streaks of white and yellow gunk along with burnt brown.]

002

[forceofnature]

[voice, public]
[Viridi has learned her lesson.

...Well no she hasn't she never does, but she can at least recognize the fact that the people here were too stupid to be expected to understand why gods needed to communicate the way they did.  Or how, exactly, this sort of communication worked. 

The telepathic broadcast is once again aimed to everyone within the city.  Instead of ringing directly in the ears of the unwashed masses, though, it seems to be reverberating from their communications devices instead.  There's an oddly echoing quality to it, and they'll find that her voice is impossible to shut off through the COMP, but hey.  She tried.]

So.

You've all been busy.  Paying visits to the mysterious 'Velvet Room', huh?

I couldn't help but notice that you're all practically lining up out the door to do favors for some strangers you don't know from Adam.  I'd call it altruistic, but we all know you're just hoping to get some shiny trinkets out of it.  A new weapon here, a better Persona there...  Call me crazy, but it's almost like you're making offerings in the hopes of receiving a blessing from some higher power you're pretty sure is benevolent.  Isn't it weird how familiar that sounds?  And you know, come to think of it, I could use a spare hand for some fetch quests, too.  Since you're all just so eager to be helpful, I'm sure you have time to spare.

Of course, I don't need anyone's faith, but a few favors here and there might just mean some handy-dandy divine intervention in your future.  I'm a goddess of my word.

You can even ask Pit!  My Treasure Hunt board had the ideal balance of difficulty to reward.  Palutena's was the lamest thing ever and Hades basically made his for sadists.  So act fast!  Once I've got what I want, you're just plain old out of luck.