01 [Text]

[stridercentric]

[If there's one thing Bro doesn't like, it's being tossed into an unexpected situation. SBURB had been filled with that sort of thing, but this place clearly isn't much better. Even after gathering some information about Hinoto-Ri, he continues to be filled with restlessness because he didn't get the answer he wanted most of all. No choice but to address the local network, then.]

sup kiddies. listen up. i got separated from my flock.

if you know what sburb is? drop me a line here. if youve been to skaia? drop me a line. if your name is dave strider? youre grounded. and drop me a line too i guess.

btw. i have a mad hankering for doritos. plz tell me they have doritos here. will not accept shitty poser brands. and maybe some orange soda.

Comments

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[unbroken_chain]

Hello! My name's Kotoha. You're a friend of Dave's?

Also here is a newbie-friendly text file explaining why you are here.

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[stridercentric]

jesus fuck. all these japanese names. its like im in weeaboo world.

im daves brother. he here?

[As for the text file, he'll skim it briefly. The best part is that he's heard of Personas before. Shin Megami Tensei games aren't his thing, but it's hard to avoid memes.]

[unbroken_chain]

Well sorry for having immigrant grandparents.

Anyway, yeah, he showed up...about a month ago?

[stridercentric]

a month ago. damn. thats not too bad i guess.

[unbroken_chain]

...hold on a second, I need to check something.



...ah. Sorry, I was wrong - his name isn't Dave, it's Dirk. Sorry, I've been boxing my stuff up for the upcoming move and I got pretty distracted.

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[all_wound_up]

They have Doritos and orange soda at the market in the Virgo district. I haven't heard of the other things you mentioned, though, I'm sorry.

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[stridercentric]

count yourself goddamn lucky. anyone whos never heard of sburb or skaia is better off.

wonder how much grub i can score with this passcard before theyll tell me ive had enough.

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[all_wound_up]

The government puts a stipend on it at the end of every month for us to live on. It's better if you have a job, but you should be able to afford basic food.

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[stridercentric]

basic is subjective.

like. what if im from a world where bubblebaths and caviar are basic? and everyone has a fucking swimming pool filled with jello.

what if i need to eat twohundred pounds of doritos a day to live?

what then?

[otakuro]

They should have something like Doritos at the store, but, uh... if you're not from Japan, you should probably prepare yourself for things like Wasabi Ginger and Curry.

[Japan Hinoto-Ri was a strange place.]

[stridercentric]

fuck. fuck that shit.

reminds me of my teenage years. i was kneedeep in cheapass noodles packets and expired sushi rolls. too much anime can do crazy things to a guys appetite.

[And when he says "teenage years", he means he was already in his early twenties. He likes to pretend he's younger than he really is.]

[otakuro]

I would agree, but I'm pretty sure expired sushi rolls are a great way to spend the next twenty four hours perched in the bathroom.

They do pay us enough to get real food, though. I'm not sure I'd want my first meal in Hinoto-Ri to be Doritos and soda...

[stridercentric]

i know. trust me. i know.

and you watch your mouth young man. doritos and orange soda are the most real of foods.

[greatseal]

You should probably be able to find what you need around somewhere! The stores here have a pretty big variety.

[but she can't guarantee they aren't shitty poser brands though. That kind of thing is kind of a SMT staple. like dr. salt, mad bull, and second maid.]

[stridercentric]

how about greasy junkfood? taco bell. dominos. all that shit.

theres a mickey d on every streetcorner back home so why not in another world right?

[greatseal]

Well the names are different, but there's definitely plenty of junk food places around. Plus ramen and beef bowl restaurants, too. Your COMP can give you a map if you take a look at it.

[stridercentric]

junk food is junk food.

this comp thing is fucking weird. who invented this piece of shit?

Yesss Hey there Bro! -brofist-

[anotherdirkstrider]

Heard through the grapevine that someone else by the name of Dirk Strider showed up in town but I sure as shit don't have a Jr., and my only Bro has been dead for a long time now.

So that begs the question: who the hell are you?

-brofist!-

[stridercentric]

one. i could ask you that same damn question.

two. the grapevine is fucking wrong. i dont go by the name of dirk. its bro.

three. any smartass who gets the bright idea to call me dirk? is begging for a can of whoopass.

four. what the hell. why do you have a dead bro? when i was your age i didnt have a bro period.

five. orange text? really?

-brofist!- So happy to have these two sassing each other.

[anotherdirkstrider]

Whatever floats your fucking boat, Bro. Notice the way I don't adopt your sophomoric rhetorical numbering shit, by the way. And orange text is boss, proverbial haters gonna hate.

My Bro is dead because an aquatic alien bitch took over the world in the guise of Betty Crocker and he died fighting her after beheading Guy Fieri a few centuries before I was "born". Yeah, it's fucked up.

So whose "Bro" are you, then?

If there's too much sass here the city may implode.

[stridercentric]

did you pick the orange because you like it or because you wanna piss people off with blinding colors? i could see it going both ways.

fucked up is understatement of the year. what the hell am i even reading. youd think aquatic alien bitches could pick nicer disguises. but props to your bro for beheading guy fieri. he lived the dream.

pay attention whizzkid. its dave.

[hachitaro]

There are Doritos here but there are some weird flavors. Welcome to Japan enjoy your stay. Though there's some non-Japanese food around if you look. The burgers don't taste the same though.

Sometimes stuff from our homeworlds shows up here though so maybe the powers that be will send us a White Castle.

[stridercentric]

thats bullshit. who ever heard of wasabi doritos? or curry doritos? fuck that shit.

theyd better give us a white castle, burger king and mickey d combined if the burgers around here suck so bad. plus some five guys.

[hachitaro]

Man I haven't been to Five Guys since I was last in D.C. That was a while ago. The burgers aren't terrible I guess but it's not the same as greasy American food.

[Note to self: try to replicate some American food for his housemates. There is not enough grease in this kitchen.]

And I take it that you're American. There aren't a lot of us here. ... Okay technically I'm an immigrant but I've been in America long enough.

Did someone give you Hinoto-Ri 101 or do you still need some pointers? I've been here a while.

[stridercentric]

yeah but you get to pick what goes on your burger. i like to make it bacon heaven.

i aint just any american. im from texas. thats like the heart and soul of americas hot body.

ok heres another question. video game consoles. yes or no dice?