01 [Text]

[stridercentric]

[If there's one thing Bro doesn't like, it's being tossed into an unexpected situation. SBURB had been filled with that sort of thing, but this place clearly isn't much better. Even after gathering some information about Hinoto-Ri, he continues to be filled with restlessness because he didn't get the answer he wanted most of all. No choice but to address the local network, then.]

sup kiddies. listen up. i got separated from my flock.

if you know what sburb is? drop me a line here. if youve been to skaia? drop me a line. if your name is dave strider? youre grounded. and drop me a line too i guess.

btw. i have a mad hankering for doritos. plz tell me they have doritos here. will not accept shitty poser brands. and maybe some orange soda.

Comments

[stridercentric]

i know lalonde but no english or crocker. only egbert and harley. but i guess that makes sense. if the old folks got switched the grandkids probably inherited different last names.

[And holy fuck his alternate self is a SBURB hero. Hot damn. Who would the three companions be? Logically, all the babies got switched around, but that's no guarantee the family ties are the same. Lalondes might've been switched with Egberts and such. ...Shit, this whole thing is just asking for a headache.]

that lalonde pal of yours. she a pa blonde with hips that dont lie? possibly going by the name of roxy?

[anotherdirkstrider]

Yeah, Roxy. Rogue of Void. Blonde, into wizards and sciency shit, a slightly unhealthy relationship with vodka. Sound like your Roxy? Her mom's name was Rose, but she died back when my bro did, they were in the resistance together.

[stridercentric]

yeah thats the one. sounds like the lalondes got swapped too. big chance the egberts and harleys pulled another switcheroo.

my condolences with your selection of sburb buddies. youre in for one hell of a ride.

btw. dave was in a resistance? my withered little raisin of a heart is swelling with pride. even if he wasnt the dave i raised. dave is dave.

[anotherdirkstrider]

Just so you don't completely give up on that raisin of yours, our SBURB title? Prince of Heart. Sounds sort of crappy but I've been told it's more akin to "destroyer of souls", so that's cool.

I don't know much about the Egberts and Harleys, but I know what historical records tell me. Harley started her own company to compete with the Condy (the Batterbitch) and took her grandson Jake with her to live on an island in the middle of the Pacific somewhere. Jane's grandpa was left in Crocker's hands, and he became a famous comedian/prankster and was apparently a pretty decent dude, despite his family ties. Both of them died, too, if you're wondering.

Dave was a famous director, dude. He had Oscars and shit for the SBAHJ series, and got his shades from Ben Stiller himself. He put subliminal anti-Crocker messages in his work, and Rose did the same with her books. The two of them took out Guy Fieri and the guys from ICP. I never got to know him, but I heard he was pretty fucking amazing. Sorta jealous you got to hang out with him so much, all I have is movies and interviews and shit.

I know SBURB is going to be a challenge, but I've got everything under control. You should have seen the shit I had to pull to get everyone into the medium in the first place.

[stridercentric]

destroyer of souls sounds cool enough. i can dig that.

holy fuck your dave is awesome. its like what my dave wouldve turned out to be if sburb hadnt fucked our lives over. he had a hella promising future ahead of him. i dont even know what hes gonna grow up to be now. knight of time in an alien world or some bullshit.

its like. ok so hes a chosen hero who can manipulate time and shit. thats cool. but getting oscars because his shitty webcomic got turned into shitty movies? brings tears to my eyes.

[It's not that he's not proud of his own Dave, because he is. He just wishes the kid could've had a normal life instead of being sucked into an assbackwards alien world to fight for some greater destiny. The Medium is a hella dangerous place. Bro should know, he died there.]

[anotherdirkstrider]

Yeah, my Bro is awesome. I wish I'd had a chance to get to know him.

I don't know what happens to the heroes after the game ends, but there's a chance that he'll be able to find some sort of life for himself in the new world. We may still have shitty movies being made yet.

[stridercentric]

[Looking at Dirk's words, he's not sure which of the two of them is better off. The one who got to raise Dave for thirteen years and was then forcefully taken out of his life, or the one who never got to meet Dave at all.]

shitty movies and more. im seeing shitty videogames based on shitty novels based on shitty movies. with shitty merchandise. thatd be hella dope.

[anotherdirkstrider]

Heh, I'd love to see that.

Hey, where are you at? I could use a good Strife practice, and I'd like to meet you if person.

[stridercentric]

right now im settling into my new crib. man. this place is severely lacking in stuff and shit. needs more weapons. more puppets. more everything.

and an ironic welcome mat. definitely gotta get me one of those. its pisces 6-05 btw.

[anotherdirkstrider]

Bro, I'm in Pisces 6-03, down the hall.

[stridercentric]

yeah i know. apparently theres an apartment listing that updates pretty much immediately.

so are you coming over or what?

[anotherdirkstrider]

[There is a prompt knock on Bro's door.]

[stridercentric]

[Now that's some genuine Strider timing, right there. The door swings open within a second, revealing a tall and luscious Bro. Despite having died and then magically traversed worlds only an hour or two ago, he looks just like he always does, baseball cap covering spiky blonde hair and pointy shades hiding his orange eyes from view.

Lil Cal is slung over his shoulder like the puppet's receiving a piggyback ride. Worth noting is that while Bro looks great, Cal was obviously torn to bits and then sewn back together with obvious white thread, giving him a rather Frankensteiny appearance. There's only so much Bro could do to fix his little buddy inside the Medium.

Goddammit, it's like he's seeing what he saw in the mirror over fifteen years ago. This is weird.]

Sup.

[anotherdirkstrider]

[Dirk stands in the doorway, his own less-tattered Cal draped over his shoulder and his shitty unbreakable sword clutched in one hand. He has to look up a few inches to meet Bro's eyes, but he's got plenty of growing to do, and as it stands he's not short by most peoples' standards. It's strange, seeing himself broader, older, wearing an actual hat instead of ironically donning a picture of one. And what happened to Cal? Well, at least his bro was a universal constant. Cal is the shit.]

Hey.

[He stands there, silent but for the shaded eye contact, for a few moments. Not every day you get to meet an alternate universe version of yourself.

Of course, for a first meeting of Striders, there's definitely something missing. The shadow of a smirk passes Dirk's lips as he draws his katana to strike out at Bro, as is the customary Strider greeting. Bro's got brawn and probably speed going for him, as well as experience, but he'd like to see just what sort of skills a softer life has left his incarnation with.]

[stridercentric]

[Customary Strider greeting, indeed. As Dirk draws his katana, Bro does the same. An identical move, right down to the blade itself. Like Cal, the unbreakable katana is a universal constant as well. It's nice to see that some things don't change, regardless of 'batterwitches' and not-so-distant futures.

The two blades meet with a metallic clang as he deflects Dirk's attack. Strifing in the middle of a hallway is probably not the smartest thing to do, but Bro doesn't give a shit about what's smart. He just does what feels right. Careful Dirk, he's flashstepping into the hall so he can have some more open space to move around in.]

Lol I love these idiots they are the best.

[anotherdirkstrider]

[So similar, down to reflexes and idiosyncratic movements, and down to the fact that this is considered a completely appropriate way to meet someone. What better way to discern someone's character than how they deal with an assault, though? It's telling.

There's something fond in his chest to see that they even have the same sword. Dirk wonders where Bro's came from, if he got his from Dave as well.

They separate and flashstep into the hallway.]

Roof?

[stridercentric]

[Oh. Well. He was fine with the hallway, but the roof is probably a better idea. More space to move around in, less chances of accidentally bursting through someone's wall. Pissing off the neighbors with property damage is probably not a good thing to do on his first day here. After the first week or so, all common sense rules go out the window.

Bro's only response to the question is a curt nod, then he flashsteps towards the hallway door. He can get to the roof by ascending the stairway, right? ... Probably. If he can't, he'll just go out the nearest window and upwards. It should be fine.]

[anotherdirkstrider]

[Dirk likewise heads up to the roof, running down the hallway and jumping out the window in a flash. Mid-fall he grabs his rocket board from his sylladex and stops plummeting down to the ground and instead rides straight up to the roof, hopping off and tossing the device back into his inventory.]

[stridercentric]

[Bro arrives at the roof just in time to see the rocket board disappear into Dirk's sylladex. Sweet, even in an alternate future he still has that thing. Part of him would expect a hover board, but he supposes the batterwitch isn't a supporter of developing hover technology. He assumes another offensive stance, ready to charge towards Dirk.]

I figure we have them clash a few times, and Bro probably wins?

[anotherdirkstrider]

[Dirk charges, leaping forward with Striderian speed and sending his blade whistling towards Bro. Fighting someone so similar to himself feels strange, but certainly gives an advantage. What will be more interesting is seeing just how different their fighting styles are.]

Sounds good!

[stridercentric]

[It feels strange to Bro as well. He's used to fighting Dave, but Dave's style is clumsy- not quite as smooth as it should or could be. There were times when Bro considered having Dave fight with a different type of sword, only to discard the notion like last month's trash. Real men fight with katanas.

For now, Bro will fight as he usually would. Block, flashstep somewhere unexpected, make a swipe of his own. Block, flashstep, swipe. And so on. He suspects Dirk will use the same kind of strategy, but he'll see how things pan out before attempting a different approach.]

[anotherdirkstrider]

[Block, flashstep, strike--

Bro fights in the same rhythm as he does, which is something Dirk isn't used to. Not many can keep up with him (save for maybe the drones), and they are matched speed for speed. The disadvantage is that Dirk is a good decade (or two) younger, and thus lacking the muscle power that his elder has developed in that time. Normally that doesn't matter to him (he would calculate a way to use that force against them) but considering it's someone as attuned to strategy-- particularly his own strategy-- as Bro is, the situation is much harder.

clang clang clang]

[stridercentric]

[Damn, Dirk's fast. Much faster than he was when he was that age. Bro didn't start training his flashstep abilities until he was thirteen years old or so, but this kid must've started at an earlier age. It makes for an interesting strife, that's for sure.

There is one other thing that works in Bro's advantage, though; his limbs. He's much taller than Dirk, with a longer range. That's why, in the midst of all the swiping and blocking, he'll suddenly raise a leg to try and kick Dirk in the chest, Chuck Norris-style.]

[anotherdirkstrider]

[Necessity breeds skill. Bro may be his alternate-universe doppelganger but he never had to physically fight to survive from such a young age, and never against giant robots out for his blood. That kind of shit makes you get good fast or get dead.

He sees the kick and starts to dodge but it clips him on the ribs, just enough to send him flying backwards into a roll. He rights himself fluidly, as though he was expecting it, but Bro really did catch him off guard. Bro is faster than anyone else he's fought-- no one before has been able to stand up to Dirk's speed, not since he was a child.]

[stridercentric]

[Dirk getting hit is exactly what Bro was hoping for. The moment the kid rolls backwards, he flashsteps after him, hoping to get behind him and land another kick from back there. This is the sort of stunt he could pull on Dave all the time, but Dirk might just recover from the roll fast enough to dodge his next kick. It's hard to tell. Only one way to find out.]