[Video]

[hertale]

[Zoë has figured this thing out pretty quickly - she wouldn't be a modern teenager if she couldn't, after all. It's weird, and different from her PDA, but it's okay. She grins at the camera - the hospital can be seen behind her, so it's pretty clear she's in Leo ward.]

Hey! I'm... new here, I guess? I have no idea where I am. I tried asking someone what planet I was on and they just gave me a weird look. It's not Huckleberry because it doesn't smell like goat, and it's not Roanoake because it doesn't smell like farts. So... where am I?

Please tell me I didn't end up in some unexplored region of space because my mom is going to kill me if I did.

Comments

[greyerrant]

You are on old Earth.

[hertale]

[Her eyes go wide.]

Wait what. Really? I mean I think that's where we were going to go, but it was going to take a while, and -

[... Something's wrong.]

What... year is it here?

[It's supposed to be different here, right? ... Did someone break time or something?]

[greyerrant]

I'm not sure. Sometime in M3, I believe. Well before my time.

As far as I can tell, we are well into the age of the Stellar Exodus.

[hertale]

[Those sure were a lot of terms she's not familiar with.]

M3? Stellar Exodus? What do you mean by that, exactly?

[greyerrant]

The historical explanation would be long and involved, but the basic concept is that this is the time period when man left Terra for other stars.

audio;

[leadthebeats]

There's seriously a planet that smells like old farts.

[ Said in a deadpan tone of voice. ]

[hertale]

... Hasn't it just been a few hundred years?

[greyerrant]

To give some context, in my time, it is the 30th Millennium.

[hertale]

And it has old farts on it too.

But yeah. Roanoke smelled like farts all the time. You got used to it after a while, but still...

[hertale]

...

[...]

... Okay, what's going on here?

[leadthebeats]

I guess that just means that the people who lived on that planet must love that horrible smell.

[hertale]

Not really, but we can't really change it.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

Hey, someone else from space.

This planet is definitely Earth, and I'm the only one here who seems to think it's "unexplored space".

[greyerrant]

What do you mean?

[hertale]

It's not even close to that millennium where I'm from. Not by human time, at least.

[hertale]

Well, I mean. We've been to Earth, obviously. But have people here seriously not gotten spaceflight down? That's... that's just really weird.

[greyerrant]

Humanity rises and falls, many times, or so it is said. Some people talk about a great cycle.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

You're telling me. My galaxy's had hyperspace travel for so long we've forgotten which species invented it first.

[hertale]

I think we got it from the Consu. Or maybe the Rraey. Who probably got it from the Consu.

[hertale]

... I don't know about you, but I'm doing what I can to make sure it doesn't fall.

[greyerrant]

[ The armored figure leans into the picture a bit and growls. }

Do you think men like me are made for anything other the defense of humanity?

[echo_of_a_jedi]

There's some new age-y archaeologists back home that think we all picked it up from an ancient species that went extinct before we even achieved sapience, but that sounds kind of contrived to me.

Plus I'm 99% sure this is a different galaxy in the first place.

[hertale]

Yeah the Consu are distinctly not extinct. They don't tend to engage other species unless it's religiously significant.

[... She is never going to fully understand the Consu. She doesn't want to, anyway.]

I'm... guessing we're not talking about the different universes made when you use the skip drive.

[hertale]

[She is not intimidated, sorry.]

To be fair, I wasn't entirely sure if you were human or not. It's rude to assume that kind of thing.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

Never heard of that. Sounds dangerous.

No, I'm just pretty sure this planet is far, far away from home for me. I haven't even heard of any of the spacefaring cultures people mention, let alone this particular planet.

[greyerrant]

I am human, though altered. I am a Space Marine, in the vernacular, though we prefer the Legiones Astartes.

[hertale]

Altered human... like the Colonial Defense Force, I guess.

[Though maybe not green. Possibly.]

[hertale]

It usually is.

[... welp.]

That... that's bad. John and Jane are definitely going to kill me.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

Why is that? It seems like it's somewhere known to you, just not to me before I got here.

[hertale]

Well, if this is Earth, then this is where we were going anyway, but if no one here knows what I'm talking about it's... really far from where we were going.

And Hickory and Dickory aren't here with me, which... might make me a target? But if no one knows what I'm talking about then maybe it doesn't?

... It's really confusing. But John and Jane wouldn't really kill me, that's just something they say when I'm being really "teenager-y".

[Yes. Air quotes included.]

[leadthebeats]

Then why the hell do they even stay there?

[hertale]

For one, the Colonial Union's the only human group with spaceships. For another, we're colonizing - making the planet fit for human living.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

I know that much, at least.

As for the rest of your problems, I wouldn't worry too much until you get settled in here. Or you can leave, that's apparently possible.

[leadthebeats]

Making the planet fit for human living must be hard on that sort of planet.

[hertale]

... Probably. But if we don't take it, then someone else will, which gives them more people and more chances for developing their military, and more hold over the area in general.

[hertale]

Huh. Neat. I'll probably stick around for a while though. It'll be nice to have a break from my parents.

[leadthebeats]

Well, I suppose. If that planet's that important, it's obvious someone would take it, smelly or not.

[hertale]

Every planet's important, really. Roanoke was really important because it was basically a giant 'screw you' to the Conclave.

[leadthebeats]

If a planet wasn't important, people wouldn't be living on it.