compnetwork | Text: This is a public service announcement

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Text: This is a public service announcement

[After he wakes up from that weird dream, it takes him a few more hours to realize that Eikichi is, somehow, missing. And...that was it! That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back! Because by mid-morning, there is an angry-looking text post from Tatsuya on the network, with only these words of warning.]

ATTN: HINOTO-RI

PHILEMON WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE

[That's....it. Maybe he should elaborate.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HONESTLY IF I TOLD PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, YEAH I'D SOUND TOTALLY CRAZY SO I STOPPED CARING.

WELL THEN GREAT I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A FUN FILLED ADVENTURE OF PAIN AND SUFFERING.

You're certainly not acting like you don't care, what with telling everyone about Philemon.

Oh I await it with bated breath.

I MEAN NOT CARING ABOUT THE CRAZY PART.

OH IT'S GONNA BE A FUN RIDE, LET ME TELL YOU. I WONDER WHAT ELSE NYARLATHOTEP'S GONNA PULL FROM HIS ASS, TOO??

WILL IT BE A NAZI INVASION THIS TIME? MAYBE SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN WHERE EVER THE HELL EVERYONE GOT PULLED TO.

OH! HOW ABOUT ALIENS WHO ARE ALSO NAZIS???

I CAN'T WAIT.

Hey at least that sounds better than terrorists and a nutball Mayor with his head up his ass.

[...uh oh, that doesn't sound good.]

TERRORISTS AND A MAYOR? COULD YOU PLEASE FILL ME IN? I JUST GOT HERE.

It happened last month, pretty much shortly after I got here. Some tournament or something, the closing ceremony was crashed by the Anoli. That's the "terrorists", and the mayor gave the most insane speech ever.

And then things went nuts during it. Don't go looking up the news report on it, they cut out a lot of information so it's useless.

OH OF COURSE THEY DID.

THERE'S PROBABLY NOT AN UNEDITED VERSION OF WHAT HAPPENED, IS THERE?

Not on the network.

But give me a second, I can type up the speeches for you if you want them.

[The joys of being a robot, Blues remembers everything he's seen/heard.]

THAT'D BE REALLY HELPFUL, THANK YOU. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T MIND?

If I minded I wouldn't have offered.

That and I don't care for either side.

[And Tastuya enjoy the first ping, the Anoli Leader's speech written word for word. Unedited, but also under a Privacy Filter. Blues may not like either side, but like hell does he want to get in trouble for this.]

COOL, I'LL GET TO READING IT.

THANK YOU AGAIN.

It's not anything to thank me for, pretty sure someone else has this information too.

And the mayor's speech starts with a lot of fluff, you want that or just the crazy part?

[Because Blues doesn't think the whole "MAN WEREN'T THESE GAMES AWESOME" part is important.]

PROBABLY ALL OF IT JUST TO BE SAFE.

[He wants to see how it goes from fluff to crazy, to be honest.]

Alright then. The games he mentions are that tournament thing, fyi.

[And here we go, including the crazy part..]

I found the claim of the Anoli being nazis to be quite the unique touch, if going a bit overboard.

[....Oh. Nazis, eh?

Takes, deep, calming breaths...]

JUST SO YOU KNOW, NYARLATHOTEP'S M.O. IS TO DISGUISE HIMSELF AS A REGULAR HUMAN.

I DUNNO IF THIS GUY IS HIM, JUST KEEP THAT A THING IN MIND FOR WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO PEOPLE.

THIS GUYS SEEMS NUTS THOUGH, I AGREE.

I don't talk to many people face to face, but I'll keep it in mind.

And yeah, I don't know many humans but if someone like me can tell that this guy is nuts? It says something.

YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING.

Robot, and I don't mind. There are actually more robots and AI here that function similar to myself then back home, so I don't mind telling people that I am what I am.

...THAT'S REALLY COOL.

I'M BEING SERIOUS I'VE NEVER REALLY MET

HOLY SHIT

Well...

That's a reaction I haven't gotten before.

IS THAT A GOOD OR BAD THING?

I'M SORRY THERE JUST AREN'T ANY ROBOTS HERE.

...WELL THERE ARE BUT NOT THE AI KIND I MEAN.

It could be either really, good or bad depends on you.

I get what you mean, you just know of the kind that do what they're told or programmed to do.

YEAH LIKE THE KIND THAT ARE USED IN CAR FACTORIES RIGHT?

...

Can they talk?

I DON'T KNOW???

THEY'RE NOT HUMANOID THEY'RE MORE LIKE ROBOT ARMS THAT USE TOOLS AND STUFF.

...THAT'S PROBABLY A WEIRD THING FOR YOU TO HEAR ABOUT I'M SORRY.

WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE OFF TRACK HERE ANYWAY.

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