有里美奈子 ✗ Minako Arisato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greatseal) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
compnetwork2012-09-14 07:35 pm
greatseal) wrote in compnetwork2012-09-14 07:35 pm
> 01. [text]
Hello everyone! ＼（＾∀＾） I hope you've all settled in well!
My name's Minako Arisato. I've talked to a few of you already, but for everyone else, it's nice to meet you!
Now that things have calmed down a little I was wondering - how many of us were Persona-users before coming to Hinoto-ri? I think it might be good to meet and compare notes if we haven't yet, see what's the same and what's changed. And maybe we could also make a list of people with experience who can help with answering questions or training, or things like that! Just jumping into using a Persona can be pretty daunting...
For everyone else - what do you usually do for fun? Some of the things I like are music, volleyball, cooking... If we have enough people who like the same things, maybe we could even form a club! I wouldn't mind having someone to play volleyball with again. Or to go out to karaoke! (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪
Anyway, that's all for now!
[added private text to Shinjiro]
Can I come over later?
My name's Minako Arisato. I've talked to a few of you already, but for everyone else, it's nice to meet you!
Now that things have calmed down a little I was wondering - how many of us were Persona-users before coming to Hinoto-ri? I think it might be good to meet and compare notes if we haven't yet, see what's the same and what's changed. And maybe we could also make a list of people with experience who can help with answering questions or training, or things like that! Just jumping into using a Persona can be pretty daunting...
For everyone else - what do you usually do for fun? Some of the things I like are music, volleyball, cooking... If we have enough people who like the same things, maybe we could even form a club! I wouldn't mind having someone to play volleyball with again. Or to go out to karaoke! (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪
Anyway, that's all for now!
[added private text to Shinjiro]
Can I come over later?
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He knew Aigis was a robot—a being who didn't think along the same lines humans did; their grayscale morality was not hers—but why the hell would you choose to do that to a little kid?]
That why Aigis was so protective of you?
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Right. Her memory was damaged but she still sensed I was the same person.
Anyway, all that time with me... or with Minato, I guess, made Ryoji-kun more human. That's why he took a human form and even made himself forget he was a Shadow for a while.
[She sort of idly wonders if Ryoji had acted the same way after living inside a person like Minato. Had Ryoji absorbed her traits, or was his personality all his own? Maybe someday, she'd ask.]
He did all that because he'd remembered his real purpose when his pieces came back together. "Death" serves another being called Nyx. Nyx is... something like a goddess. Shadows are like pieces of her, and she brought death to humanity a long time ago. Ryoji-kun's existence then meant that Nyx was going to come back and cause the Fall Ikutsuki had talked about before.
Basically... when Nyx arrived, everyone on Earth would become part of the Lost and the world would end.
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And if the information she just gave him is true—as undoubtedly it is—he can't imagine Minako and Aki and the rest were left with a whole lot of options.]
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Ryoji-kun didn’t want the world to end any more than we did, but he didn’t think we could beat Nyx. He gave us a choice, though. We could ‘kill’ his human form to erase the Dark Hour and our memories of it. If we did that, we’d forget all about the Fall and wouldn’t worry about it until it actually happened. The other choice was to fight Nyx. ...I think it’s probably pretty obvious which one we went with.
[Even if it’d been far less than obvious back then. December had been one of the worst periods for all of them – but it was done with, and revisiting that time wouldn’t do anyone any good.]
Ryoji-kun told us Nyx would appear on January 31st, at the top of Tartarus. So, that was January. We spent the whole month climbing up there. Strega wasn’t helping much, they set up a whole cult for people to welcome Nyx. The city really looked awful... [All those flyers and weird graffiti everywhere. She’s sure Shinji wouldn’t have approved.
Also, around here she’d mention whether Chidori was revived or not, but we’ll leave that up to any future Junpei-players to establish.]The 31st came, and we went to Tartarus. We had to beat Strega again, but this time they’re gone for good. Jin blew himself up, and Takaya... well, actually, I’m not sure what happened to him. [But from tone it’s apparent she doesn’t really care. He’d attempted to murder two of her friends - had murdered one, in another reality, and was generally a nasty person. She doesn’t wish death on him because she wouldn’t do that to anybody but she doesn’t need to spare any effort wondering what happened after Tartarus collapsed.]
At the top, we met Ryoji-kun again, only he’d turned completely into Nyx’s avatar and wasn’t human anymore. We fought him, and we won. But… it turned out what he’d told us before was true. We really couldn’t kill Nyx. She was coming regardless and it looked like we were going to lose despite everything. That’s when...
[she pauses. Explaining what exactly happened – what exactly she’d been able to do, wasn’t an easy concept. It’s still hard for her to grasp her own mind around it in some ways. But the things they’d learned since coming to Hinoto-ri might make it simpler.]
Do you remember how when we arrived here they talked about the Velvet Room?
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[If Minako does not care, Shinjiro will do the imagining for her: Tartarus collapsed on top of him, and unlike his benevolent look-alike, he did not rise from the grave three days later. He will imagine that when given the information and opportunity and not feel too badly about it.
As for everything else, he can see everything she told him just as easily. He can see the graffiti lining the bricks, can almost imagine the flyers that she hadn't mentioned littering the streets. How everything dissolved into decay, like something that had been abandoned and left to rot. If she says it was awful, he believes her. He can imagine Hell. But he can imagine other things too. He can see them fighting, climbing that damn tower night after night after night, because succumbing to that inevitability—memoryless and painless as it might have been—would never have been an option for very long. That's what he would have chose if he had been there.]
Got an idea of what that place is.
[He doesn't know everything, of course. Not much at all, really. But enough.]
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...I've actually been going there all year. It has to do with my special Persona ability. But being a guest there also gave me another power, and that power gave me one miracle. I faced Nyx myself and saw what the real problem was. Nyx isn't really an evil being that's just out to destroy things. She came because people called for her. Like the people who joined Strega's cult... Everyone in the world who's suffering, and thinks they'd be better off just dying. It's all those feelings that brought Nyx here. And that meant just our small group wouldn't be enough to stop her.
So, I cut them off. I used the Universe and put a seal between our thoughts and Nyx. That way, no one can call her ever again.
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Though maybe he wouldn't have thought so much about her explanation, would have just taken it at face value, if he hadn't all ready heard some vague, mostly implied details from Aki. But maybe that's all the seal had been: a miracle and nothing more.
Hell if he knew.]
..So everything's finished then.
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[And then, she pauses. It would be so easy to leave things here. On the high note, saving the world, everyone free to enjoy a normal school life. But she'd promised to tell him everything. And if she doesn't say it all now, she'd keep going with the guilt that she's hiding something important from him.
So she continues.] The Dark Hour ended, and like Ryoji-kun had said, everyone forgot what had happened for a while... for all of February, actually. Even I forgot. Aigis remembered, though, and eventually I did too. [...]
We made a promise before we fought Nyx. That whatever happened, we'd meet up and celebrate on Graduation Day. I knew I had to keep that promise too, so I kept going until then, but...
...I made that seal with my soul, Senpai. I don't regret it at all but it means that I won't be able to see you when you wake up. [By the end, the calm tone and smile are wavering, just a little. She can't let it break now.]
....And that's the story. I understand if you're angry with me. I've caused you a lot of trouble...
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Aki certainly remembered, or he wouldn't have been able to tell him that Minato had died. Aigis had. Minako had. Maybe everyone else on their side of the coin just had to catch up. Maybe they all had eventually remembered and made it there in time to say goodbye, and were able to fulfill the promise that they made. That's what she had been living for, hadn't she? Wouldn't she have made sure to see it through?
But he guesses he hadn't really made that promise himself, so maybe he wasn't there. Might have just woken up in the hospital with no idea why he was there. He'd finally be able to forget everything that happened during those years if he understood things correctly. No Dark Hour, no memory of it. But for all the comfort that would bring, he can't see that being true for long. If forgetting came with the price tag with no longer remembering the people who were important to you, he's not sure he wanted it, because those memories were one of the few things that kept him going all those years. It was like his own December offer: to forget and live out whatever life remaining to him before he died, oblivious, or to remember and have to fight through every day like he had been since two years ago. He knows what he'd choose.
And if he's never been able to do one thing, it's forget.
Why would that ever change?]
...I'm not angry with you. You did what you had to do.
[How the hell could he ever be angry?
Hell, he doesn't even know what he should be feeling right now anymore. Everything's just this sudden maelstrom of emotion he can't label properly that's coalesced together until it's no longer any one distinct thing, but a singular void of numb indecision, as if a you had mixed different colors of paint together until you couldn't see anything but black, unsure what emotion is supposed to stay at the surface, what color it's supposed to be.
So instead he asks a question:]
Where were you going to meet?
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On the roof. That's where I was before... well, all of this.
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The school roof?
[There's plenty of memories there for him. It's almost funny, really, if he had the heart to laugh. That's where he'd go when he'd skip class, and then Aki would come and wake him up there afterwards. Never scolded him for it. As long as he'd be able to graduate alongside him, he guesses, Aki didn't care how often he went to school. Or maybe he did but had learned nagging him about it was useless. Heh. That'd be a first.
But Shinjiro supposes that if he could pick a place to die, that would be it. It was always warm and calm and peaceful up there. Just you and the sun and the sky.
His throat feels like it's swallowed gravel, and the words that come out are just as raw.]
I'll remember.
[And I'll be there.
He'll try, though he doesn't know how he can. How he's supposed to when he might not be able to recall anything at all? But maybe... maybe if this place allows him to take home a single memory, a single minute in time, maybe it'll let him take this. Enough of a memory to give him a subtle push in the right direction, just enough to make him remember just a little bit earlier, and give him enough time for him to make use of his uncooperative legs of his and run. And maybe be lucky enough to be able to say goodbye.
(Shit. She wasn't supposed to die in the first place.)]
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[She knows that's probably impossible. She'd already felt so tired before she woke up here. But just maybe, it hadn't really been the end. If he's willing to remember, she's willing to stay awake one more minute.
And even if she can't, well... what she can't do is take this atmosphere any longer. She gets up from the chair, walks around the table and puts her arms around him, permission or not.
She can't do anything about what's already happened, but here and now are still up in the air.]
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All right.
[He throat still feels like it has been ground down to nothing, and his voice right along with it. It takes a moment for him to react to her, like he's suddenly unsure of his own footsteps and is afraid to walk, but when he does, it's to pull her closer to him, bringing her into as tight of an embrace as he can manage. He can feel his eyes start to sting, but he blinks the irritating dryness back, like he always has and probably always will. He isn't Aki, damn it.
Even so, it takes him a little while to find his voice again.]
I also never expected—[No. That sounds wrong. And there are some things she still doesn't know and doesn't need to.] ...I would never ask you to wait for me.
[It wasn't practical for her to wait by the bedside of someone who might never wake up. There's something to be said for loyalty, and he would never blame someone for their decision either way, but it wasn't a betrayal to move on. Loyalty encompassed a lot of different things, but it was never supposed to expect the impossible or impractical out of those who walked under its banner. He knew what kind of person he was, how hard it would be for him to move on, but his reactions to things weren't healthy. He also knew what things were. It's everything he's constantly preached to Aki over the years, even if he has a hard time living it himself. So how could Minako finding someone else to care about be a bad thing? It hurts, knowing that she was able to, but that's something he'll deal with. She's lucky that she has the ability to put all the bad things that had happened behind her and move forward, quite frankly.
But that's the kind of person she's always been.
She's like a spark, really. One that flickers across a room, lighting every candle within her reach, growing in size and intensity just as the candle flames do, thriving right alongside them as she makes sure they always stay lit.]
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[He hadn't even been the first boy she'd fallen for, or the first one she'd left behind, for various reasons. But she could say that he was the first she'd felt this strongly for. Strong enough to break down his door.
And afterwards, moving on didn't mean changing what had happened, or the feelings that caused it. Everything she'd felt this year was real. She didn't want to forget or lose any of it. She loved Ryoji too, even as she still loved Shinjiro. And how she still was drawn to Theo. But all of those things were part of past events, while today is in the present.
He hadn't asked her to wait, but in the end... she didn't need to. Against the odds they'd come back together anyway. She still has the chance to try again.]
...I still love you, Senpai. [Just bringing it full circle.]
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[And she is. He still doesn't understand her and some of the silly, stupid, stubborn things she does.]
You sure?
[It's easy to catch the things she's trying to say underneath those five simple words. That she'd be willing to start again. It's not October anymore; it's September all over again, and this is probably the only chance they'll have. He's not calling her feelings into question, but he needs to ask, and this is his way of doing so. To see if she's thought things through, thought about what this place is and what could happen, or if she needs time and space to think things over if she has not. He doesn't know the likelihood, but Mochizuki could show up one of these days, and he doesn't want to tear her away from someone who could make her happier just because he had arrived here first. He could also be gone tomorrow. So could she. Lots of things could happen. The only steady thing is now. And each moment in that time frame is only a brief second in time.
And he doesn't want her to regret anything here.]
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Even if Ryoji did come here, things wouldn't be the same as they were before. They could make something new, of course... but Ryoji also had the advantage of being part of the Seal she'd made. They were already tied together, for the past ten years, for the next who knows how many. That's a completely different relationship from the simple boy and girl they'd seemed in November. A different relationship than her and Shinjiro.
And she's not quite ready to give in to the possible future, not yet. She'd face it when it came - she was more than willing to step up to the fate she'd created. But that time wasn't today. Today, she still had has her Senpai and all she wants is to selfishly keep him beside her.
She can't worry about potentialities when she has something solid right here in the present.]
I'm sure.
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He takes in what she says, measuring it in the quiet silence that follows until her words bleed over into a pool of everything else he's heard within the past not-even hour. He still has to sort everything out—accept the surreality that comes with suddenly being told you're alive when you had just come to terms with being dead. To submit to the new truths that surrounded everything he and the others had fought for while Tartarus still existed, to acknowledge that it had all been a lie, and all that he had done during that timespan either had no bearing, or was one of the hands that moved the clock one step closer to the demise of the world.
He also has to accept that by the time he wakes up, he likely won't really remember much of anything at all, least of all her (but he will eventually, and when he does he'll run until his lungs catch fire), and that by the time he fulfills the promise he made (once he makes it up all those steps and onto the sun-bathed roof and finds her), he won't be there to say hello. He will be there to say goodbye, and to let her know how glad he was to have met her as he watches her mortal life draw to a close. And then from that day forward, he will have to learn to live with the fact that she won't be there anymore, and yet he still will be, against the odds. That's the part he's having trouble accepting, the one part of his extended future that he will probably never be ready for, even when that promised day comes.
It's a lot to take in at one time. He didn't get to live out the months or the final hours like the others had. He just gets to live it vicariously through the condensed words of someone else, knowing there's nothing he can do to change that reality. Because there is no other way, and he'll be too busy fighting to wake up.
But that time is not yet, and for once he hopes it doesn't come too quickly.
Right now they're still in his little apartment, in this strange alternate world that can bring people's souls back from the dead, and right now she's willing to take him in for a second time. So he guesses he can give in to her again (be weak-willed, a little scared, and (soon enough) happier than he currently feels), and make sure that by the time their existence here is finished, she won't have any lasting regrets to take with her into that other, far-away world.
So if she's sure—]
Then so am I.
[He doesn't let go of her quite yet, eyes sweeping the table, but he loosens his hold. His voice still feels raw, but it's growing stronger, like he's learning how to use talk again.]
Food's going cold, you know.
[Not that he's all that hungry anymore.]
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[And yet, she doesn't move.
It's definitely still delicious, and she knows he doesn't like to waste a meal. But right now...
...this tastes a lot better.]
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Subdued as he is, he almost laughs.]
You know, huh?
[Though never let it be said that Shinjiro isn't dedicated to his craft, adhering to his rigid set of morals that no prepared food is allowed to go uneaten without sufficient cause. Whatever the outcome, his meal won't be wasted. He can package it for her to take home tonight if she isn't hungry. It can be reheated, even if it won't taste quite as good the second day. At worst, she can use it to bribe her brother to come and visit her, so she doesn't have to make the trip.
He breathes in, exhales.]
I worked hard on that.
[It's almost accusatory, scolding, but lacks any real iron behind it. He can't say he objects to her wanting to stay if she wants to, even if it means his food is being made to suffer. Even if it feels a bit strange being like this, having the warmth of someone else against him, another heartbeat working to live besides his own (and it is beating), because he's so unused to prolonged physical contact. He's so used to being alone, brushing off other people before they could lay a hand on him, so even something so comparatively short as this feels like a strangely long time. Time he isn't sure what to make of, but secretly doesn't mind spending.]
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[She pouts - it's obviously exaggerated, as she extricates herself from the hug. She picks up the bowl which is now cool enough to handle and her chopsticks from the table and...
Plops herself back down on his lap to finish eating. She's actually hungry again now that she has things settled.]
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just what the hell
does she think she's even—
so he's her chair now. okay. he missed that in the fine print of their new, unwritten contract—the part that mentions that all furniture privileges are effective immediately.
If her plan was to distract him, then she's doing a hell of a good job. Because he's distracted now. Hard to dwell on things when you have a girl trying to set up shop in your lap. He's pretty sure every ounce of heat he has in him is retreating to his face and there's nothing he can do to stop it.
Does she even have any idea—
Even the foggiest idea of what this sort of thing does to—
No. She probably does. And doesn't. All at the same time. You'd think that a few hours of unconsciousness wouldn't have been enough time for him to forget how bold she can be. (And he hasn't forgotten, really. She just always has the habit of taking him by surprise.)
It takes a few seconds for his mind and body to resync. Get used to her sudden presence again, though outwardly, aside from sudden flush that's taken hold of his face and the rigid, startled, cat-like stiffness to his body, little has changed. But almost immediately afterward, he relaxes, slowly leaning back into his chair while a suppressed laugh escapes his throat. Because okay. You win.
If this is how things are going to be from now on, he can get used to it.
But if she's going to bold, then hell, he can be a little bit bold too, tired and emotionally drained as he inwardly feels, head full of everything he's heard tonight and is still trying to sort through. Even though he's so used to holding himself back, keeping himself tied down, he can play her game. So he does, carefully slipping one of his arms around her waist.]
Why don't you tell me about Kyoto.
[Has to be more to it than Akihiko being pulled into things like a dumbass.]
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First you want - [she swallows the bite of food, talking with your mouth full isn't very ladylike even if she's not looking directly at him] me to eat, now you want me to talk...
[She shakes her head, as though to say 'really, Senpai.'
But she launches into an explanation between bites, anyway. Discussing each temple they went to, the souvenirs they bought, what her other friends outside of SEES had gotten up to. Playing table tennis in the lounge and Aigis stalking Ryoji whenever he spoke to Minako for more than two seconds. Normal, everyday, pointless things.
She'd missed these conversations.
She has to finish up with the execution story, of course. It was the highlight of the trip.] --You should have seen their faces. They were all sitting on a bench looking sorry for themselves, and then Mitsuru-senpai just walked past without even glancing at them.
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But after that he listens. His questions are brief, and his occasional comments briefer. For the most part, he stays quiet, more than content to listen to her ramble on about whatever comes to her mind. The topics are are mundane on the surface. They're light, silly things, the type of aimless conversation that would never have much weight or bearing on the conversational scale of importance, but they mean the world to him. It gives him something to interpret that doesn't consist of analyzing where life went wrong. Sure, it's a distraction, but there's more to it than that. It tells him things. That maybe for all his worrying he never had much to worry about (even though he still does.) Gives him a glimpse into a normal person's reality, what the world is supposed to be like.
He hasn't had too much time to miss these conversations, though he will, given time.
He snorts when she finishes her last sentence, shaking his head. Yeah. He can imagine it. All too well. It probably wouldn't be incorrect to say that he had been on the receiving victim of Mitsuru's cold eyes once or twice. Or her cold shoulder, whichever tactic suited her purpose, rare as it was. He's learned it's best not to make the same mistakse twice, after all. At least he hadn't done something like this though. There is a fine line between angering someone because of some sort of stupid thing you did accidentally, or something you knew would get under a person's skin but couldn't be bothered to change, and then there were the really stupid things no one had a legitimate excuse for doing. This situation was the lattermost.]
'course they looked sorry for themselves. Means they didn't regret what they did so much as getting their asses caught.
[Aki, of course, is still a moron. He'll have to bring up Kyoto one of these days. See what happens. Maybe this version of Aki knew how to get out of the hotsprings while he was ahead and still on Mitsuru's good side.
...Though he very much doubts it. Some things don't change.]
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I'm pretty sure Akihiko-senpai was just dragged in to the whole thing... but I never told him that.
[That would make things too easy on him.]
Though I have to wonder what happened to my brother...
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[But at the next question, he pauses, mulling it over in his mind. He still doesn't know Minato well—hardly knows a damn thing about him except that he's Minako's considerably quieter half, the half that possesses every ounce of reservation Minako had abandoned by the wayside.]
Depends.
[On two options, really. Whether he stayed in or whether he got the hell out while he had opportunity. Those were the only two scenarios that would have made a difference to Mitsuru.]
But it ain't like Mitsuru to give anybody special treatment.
[Not to say she isn't fair when she needs to be, but she's absolutely fierce and uncompromising when she feels the need and has a reason to be. If Minato had been in the hotsprings with the rest of them, every single argument of his would have been rendered null and invalid. Wouldn't have mattered whether he had gotten dragged there, or if he had been trying to enjoy the view of his own volition. She was the judge and the jury, the empress of who did not take well to the flimsy excuses of her subjects—especially excuses of the shoddy, masculine-made variety. Not much brain in those.
In other words, if Minato was there, he most definitely had his ass handed to him on an ice-encased platter.]
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