compnetwork | > 01. [text]

...Then I'll wait a little longer.

[She knows that's probably impossible. She'd already felt so tired before she woke up here. But just maybe, it hadn't really been the end. If he's willing to remember, she's willing to stay awake one more minute.

And even if she can't, well... what she can't do is take this atmosphere any longer. She gets up from the chair, walks around the table and puts her arms around him, permission or not.

She can't do anything about what's already happened, but here and now are still up in the air.]

[Since when has she ever asked for permission?]

All right.

[He throat still feels like it has been ground down to nothing, and his voice right along with it. It takes a moment for him to react to her, like he's suddenly unsure of his own footsteps and is afraid to walk, but when he does, it's to pull her closer to him, bringing her into as tight of an embrace as he can manage. He can feel his eyes start to sting, but he blinks the irritating dryness back, like he always has and probably always will. He isn't Aki, damn it.

Even so, it takes him a little while to find his voice again.]

I also never expected—[No. That sounds wrong. And there are some things she still doesn't know and doesn't need to.] ...I would never ask you to wait for me.

[It wasn't practical for her to wait by the bedside of someone who might never wake up. There's something to be said for loyalty, and he would never blame someone for their decision either way, but it wasn't a betrayal to move on. Loyalty encompassed a lot of different things, but it was never supposed to expect the impossible or impractical out of those who walked under its banner. He knew what kind of person he was, how hard it would be for him to move on, but his reactions to things weren't healthy. He also knew what things were. It's everything he's constantly preached to Aki over the years, even if he has a hard time living it himself. So how could Minako finding someone else to care about be a bad thing? It hurts, knowing that she was able to, but that's something he'll deal with. She's lucky that she has the ability to put all the bad things that had happened behind her and move forward, quite frankly.

But that's the kind of person she's always been.

She's like a spark, really. One that flickers across a room, lighting every candle within her reach, growing in size and intensity just as the candle flames do, thriving right alongside them as she makes sure they always stay lit.]

Even so...

[He hadn't even been the first boy she'd fallen for, or the first one she'd left behind, for various reasons. But she could say that he was the first she'd felt this strongly for. Strong enough to break down his door.

And afterwards, moving on didn't mean changing what had happened, or the feelings that caused it. Everything she'd felt this year was real. She didn't want to forget or lose any of it. She loved Ryoji too, even as she still loved Shinjiro. And how she still was drawn to Theo. But all of those things were part of past events, while today is in the present.

He hadn't asked her to wait, but in the end... she didn't need to. Against the odds they'd come back together anyway. She still has the chance to try again.]

...I still love you, Senpai. [Just bringing it full circle.]

Idiot.

[And she is. He still doesn't understand her and some of the silly, stupid, stubborn things she does.]

You sure?

[It's easy to catch the things she's trying to say underneath those five simple words. That she'd be willing to start again. It's not October anymore; it's September all over again, and this is probably the only chance they'll have. He's not calling her feelings into question, but he needs to ask, and this is his way of doing so. To see if she's thought things through, thought about what this place is and what could happen, or if she needs time and space to think things over if she has not. He doesn't know the likelihood, but Mochizuki could show up one of these days, and he doesn't want to tear her away from someone who could make her happier just because he had arrived here first. He could also be gone tomorrow. So could she. Lots of things could happen. The only steady thing is now. And each moment in that time frame is only a brief second in time.

And he doesn't want her to regret anything here.]

[Of course she's an idiot. But so is he. If things are so uncertain, what's the point in waiting to think?

Even if Ryoji did come here, things wouldn't be the same as they were before. They could make something new, of course... but Ryoji also had the advantage of being part of the Seal she'd made. They were already tied together, for the past ten years, for the next who knows how many. That's a completely different relationship from the simple boy and girl they'd seemed in November. A different relationship than her and Shinjiro.

And she's not quite ready to give in to the possible future, not yet. She'd face it when it came - she was more than willing to step up to the fate she'd created. But that time wasn't today. Today, she still had has her Senpai and all she wants is to selfishly keep him beside her.

She can't worry about potentialities when she has something solid right here in the present.]

I'm sure.

[He still doesn't know what color he should be feeling yet.

He takes in what she says, measuring it in the quiet silence that follows until her words bleed over into a pool of everything else he's heard within the past not-even hour. He still has to sort everything out—accept the surreality that comes with suddenly being told you're alive when you had just come to terms with being dead. To submit to the new truths that surrounded everything he and the others had fought for while Tartarus still existed, to acknowledge that it had all been a lie, and all that he had done during that timespan either had no bearing, or was one of the hands that moved the clock one step closer to the demise of the world.

He also has to accept that by the time he wakes up, he likely won't really remember much of anything at all, least of all her (but he will eventually, and when he does he'll run until his lungs catch fire), and that by the time he fulfills the promise he made (once he makes it up all those steps and onto the sun-bathed roof and finds her), he won't be there to say hello. He will be there to say goodbye, and to let her know how glad he was to have met her as he watches her mortal life draw to a close. And then from that day forward, he will have to learn to live with the fact that she won't be there anymore, and yet he still will be, against the odds. That's the part he's having trouble accepting, the one part of his extended future that he will probably never be ready for, even when that promised day comes.

It's a lot to take in at one time. He didn't get to live out the months or the final hours like the others had. He just gets to live it vicariously through the condensed words of someone else, knowing there's nothing he can do to change that reality. Because there is no other way, and he'll be too busy fighting to wake up.

But that time is not yet, and for once he hopes it doesn't come too quickly.

Right now they're still in his little apartment, in this strange alternate world that can bring people's souls back from the dead, and right now she's willing to take him in for a second time. So he guesses he can give in to her again (be weak-willed, a little scared, and (soon enough) happier than he currently feels), and make sure that by the time their existence here is finished, she won't have any lasting regrets to take with her into that other, far-away world.

So if she's sure—]

Then so am I.

[He doesn't let go of her quite yet, eyes sweeping the table, but he loosens his hold. His voice still feels raw, but it's growing stronger, like he's learning how to use talk again.]

Food's going cold, you know.

[Not that he's all that hungry anymore.]

Edited 2012-09-17 20:51 (UTC)

I know.

[And yet, she doesn't move.

It's definitely still delicious, and she knows he doesn't like to waste a meal. But right now...

...this tastes a lot better.]

[Well, she's certainly a lot warmer than the food she's so callously choosing to ignore, he'll let her have that much.

Subdued as he is, he almost laughs.]

You know, huh?

[Though never let it be said that Shinjiro isn't dedicated to his craft, adhering to his rigid set of morals that no prepared food is allowed to go uneaten without sufficient cause. Whatever the outcome, his meal won't be wasted. He can package it for her to take home tonight if she isn't hungry. It can be reheated, even if it won't taste quite as good the second day. At worst, she can use it to bribe her brother to come and visit her, so she doesn't have to make the trip.

He breathes in, exhales.]

I worked hard on that.

[It's almost accusatory, scolding, but lacks any real iron behind it. He can't say he objects to her wanting to stay if she wants to, even if it means his food is being made to suffer. Even if it feels a bit strange being like this, having the warmth of someone else against him, another heartbeat working to live besides his own (and it is beating), because he's so unused to prolonged physical contact. He's so used to being alone, brushing off other people before they could lay a hand on him, so even something so comparatively short as this feels like a strangely long time. Time he isn't sure what to make of, but secretly doesn't mind spending.]

All right, all right...

[She pouts - it's obviously exaggerated, as she extricates herself from the hug. She picks up the bowl which is now cool enough to handle and her chopsticks from the table and...

Plops herself back down on his lap to finish eating. She's actually hungry again now that she has things settled.]

[He easily loosens his hold, eyes following her as she leaves him. He leans forward, about to pull in his chair, when she turns back and just—

just what the hell

does she think she's even—

so he's her chair now. okay. he missed that in the fine print of their new, unwritten contract—the part that mentions that all furniture privileges are effective immediately.

If her plan was to distract him, then she's doing a hell of a good job. Because he's distracted now. Hard to dwell on things when you have a girl trying to set up shop in your lap. He's pretty sure every ounce of heat he has in him is retreating to his face and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

Does she even have any idea—

Even the foggiest idea of what this sort of thing does to—

No. She probably does. And doesn't. All at the same time. You'd think that a few hours of unconsciousness wouldn't have been enough time for him to forget how bold she can be. (And he hasn't forgotten, really. She just always has the habit of taking him by surprise.)

It takes a few seconds for his mind and body to resync. Get used to her sudden presence again, though outwardly, aside from sudden flush that's taken hold of his face and the rigid, startled, cat-like stiffness to his body, little has changed. But almost immediately afterward, he relaxes, slowly leaning back into his chair while a suppressed laugh escapes his throat. Because okay. You win.

If this is how things are going to be from now on, he can get used to it.

But if she's going to bold, then hell, he can be a little bit bold too, tired and emotionally drained as he inwardly feels, head full of everything he's heard tonight and is still trying to sort through. Even though he's so used to holding himself back, keeping himself tied down, he can play her game. So he does, carefully slipping one of his arms around her waist.]

Why don't you tell me about Kyoto.

[Has to be more to it than Akihiko being pulled into things like a dumbass.]

Edited 2012-09-19 07:18 (UTC)

[Normally some amount of stiffness is okay with her, and it still is... but as he'd guessed, her main goal isn't to rile him up, but just relax and forget the awful story she'd just dropped on him. That part seems to be working too.]

First you want - [she swallows the bite of food, talking with your mouth full isn't very ladylike even if she's not looking directly at him] me to eat, now you want me to talk...

[She shakes her head, as though to say 'really, Senpai.'

But she launches into an explanation between bites, anyway. Discussing each temple they went to, the souvenirs they bought, what her other friends outside of SEES had gotten up to. Playing table tennis in the lounge and Aigis stalking Ryoji whenever he spoke to Minako for more than two seconds. Normal, everyday, pointless things.

She'd missed these conversations.

She has to finish up with the execution story, of course. It was the highlight of the trip.] --You should have seen their faces. They were all sitting on a bench looking sorry for themselves, and then Mitsuru-senpai just walked past without even glancing at them.

[He just shoots her a look that plainly says, "if you're saying you can't multi-task, then I don't know you."

But after that he listens. His questions are brief, and his occasional comments briefer. For the most part, he stays quiet, more than content to listen to her ramble on about whatever comes to her mind. The topics are are mundane on the surface. They're light, silly things, the type of aimless conversation that would never have much weight or bearing on the conversational scale of importance, but they mean the world to him. It gives him something to interpret that doesn't consist of analyzing where life went wrong. Sure, it's a distraction, but there's more to it than that. It tells him things. That maybe for all his worrying he never had much to worry about (even though he still does.) Gives him a glimpse into a normal person's reality, what the world is supposed to be like.

He hasn't had too much time to miss these conversations, though he will, given time.

He snorts when she finishes her last sentence, shaking his head. Yeah. He can imagine it. All too well. It probably wouldn't be incorrect to say that he had been on the receiving victim of Mitsuru's cold eyes once or twice. Or her cold shoulder, whichever tactic suited her purpose, rare as it was. He's learned it's best not to make the same mistakse twice, after all. At least he hadn't done something like this though. There is a fine line between angering someone because of some sort of stupid thing you did accidentally, or something you knew would get under a person's skin but couldn't be bothered to change, and then there were the really stupid things no one had a legitimate excuse for doing. This situation was the lattermost.]

'course they looked sorry for themselves. Means they didn't regret what they did so much as getting their asses caught.

[Aki, of course, is still a moron. He'll have to bring up Kyoto one of these days. See what happens. Maybe this version of Aki knew how to get out of the hotsprings while he was ahead and still on Mitsuru's good side.

...Though he very much doubts it. Some things don't change.]

[As if she can read what he was thinking at the end (she can't, but it was obvious on his face when she first brought it up), she comments on that very topic.]

I'm pretty sure Akihiko-senpai was just dragged in to the whole thing... but I never told him that.

[That would make things too easy on him.]

Though I have to wonder what happened to my brother...

[He almost rolls his eyes.] Doing something like that wouldn't've crossed his mind to begin with, not that it probably made a difference.

[But at the next question, he pauses, mulling it over in his mind. He still doesn't know Minato well—hardly knows a damn thing about him except that he's Minako's considerably quieter half, the half that possesses every ounce of reservation Minako had abandoned by the wayside.]

Depends.

[On two options, really. Whether he stayed in or whether he got the hell out while he had opportunity. Those were the only two scenarios that would have made a difference to Mitsuru.]

But it ain't like Mitsuru to give anybody special treatment.

[Not to say she isn't fair when she needs to be, but she's absolutely fierce and uncompromising when she feels the need and has a reason to be. If Minato had been in the hotsprings with the rest of them, every single argument of his would have been rendered null and invalid. Wouldn't have mattered whether he had gotten dragged there, or if he had been trying to enjoy the view of his own volition. She was the judge and the jury, the empress of who did not take well to the flimsy excuses of her subjects—especially excuses of the shoddy, masculine-made variety. Not much brain in those.

In other words, if Minato was there, he most definitely had his ass handed to him on an ice-encased platter.]

Maybe he was smart enough to find them a better hiding place. [She has no real thoughts of him managing to avoid the situation in the first place.... she knows Ryoji and Junpei too well. They must have found a clever way into the spring if Akihiko hadn't realized the plan until too late. Like Shinji, she's sure he wouldn't have followed them knowing the plan. He'd had many more years around Mitsuru.

But unlike the other three, Minato at least has a head for strategy in a crisis. ...She hopes.]

[Her amused nonchalance at the entire fiasco is a marvel. She didn't even sound angry or offended. The traditional response would have been one of righteous indignation—he's certain Takeba had made ample use of it. At least the other males in the dorm can count on Minako to not hold a grudge against them just because they were temporarily stupider than the world was supposed to allow. Though, then again, a considerable amount of time had passed since then. The more the weeks went by, the less angry you became, and the things you were angry about often seemed pretty idiotic in hindsight.]

Must have a good set of lungs on him if he did.

[Which is hardly a serious comment on his part, while he tries to imagine such a scenario, though his tone does little to convey it. Where the hell could he have hidden himself, anyway, let alone three other people? Unless they wanted to try their hand at diving three feet under or something equally ridiculous, and hoping sheer luck was on their side. Might as well pretend to be a cat and see how well that goes over.]

Edited 2012-09-20 09:44 (UTC)

[For her part, she thinks that without herself there, they might have stood a chance... provided they stayed quiet. Yukari had been pretty worried about ghosts.

But really, in the long run... all of them were harmless. Ryoji is so sincere about his admiration of girls you can't help forgiving eventually and Junpei... well, he'sJunpei. It helps that she's sure he sees her as a friend and really has no interest in something more.

Of course, that's her perception now. But even back then, she hadn't been too angry. They'd gotten their punishment for being caught.]

I guess the only way to know now is to ask him.

["Harmless" is a good way of putting it.]

I'm sure there are a lot of things you want to ask.

[Been ten years, hadn't it? Taking her story into account. That was a lot to catch up on. He could hardly imagine ten years worth of lost time.]

[The bowl is empty now, and she sets it down. She relaxes back into his half-embrace.]

I do, but... at the same time I already know a lot. Not about him now, but the places he went and the people he met... [Maybe even some of the emotions. The losses, the fear, and the immeasurable pride in the friends who fought to the end.]

...It doesn't feel as strange as it should.

[He can understand that. The kid has one hell of a resumé, including a very long list of references if he's anything like his sister—if perhaps on the quieter side of social achievement.]

It shouldn't have to feel strange at all.

["Shouldn't," being the keyword. He knows very well how things are and what is. It's probably still going to feel strange, and always will in a roundabout sort of way. Even if they had been separated for only a year, there still would have been a palpable sort of distance between the two, because life made separation an alienating force. It's what made distance and time so hard and painful. But how much of an impact that had on the relationship ultimately fell upon the affected. There were some people who could almost start over again as if their final shared memory had been only yesterday.]

I know. Even if it's been ten years, he's still my big brother. ...But this is still a lot more literal than the usual "he's watching over you."

[It's like her life had been a movie with the sound turned off, only getting half of the whole picture. She got the plot, the setting, the actors... but not the other main character.]

[Shinjiro arches an eyebrow. Minato was the older one? He had assumed the opposite.]

He'll get used to it.

[To doing more than just being the one watching from more peaceful shores. Though in this Minato's case, it was probably more like Minako's statement—wondering if he was being watched over, and imagining every now and again how things could have been if life had gone differently. Shinjiro doesn't bother to say "you'll get used to it," because he all ready knows Minako will—and probably all ready has, in a way—even though she has other things on her plate to contend with, like teammates that don't remember her. It doesn't surprise him that things don't feel as strange to her as they should be, because that's just the way she is.

Minato, on the other hand, probably doesn't know what he's in for. You don't get used to a whirlwind in a matter of days or hours.]

He'll probably forget you were never around to annoy him soon enough.

[He almost pities the fool.]

[Older, by about one minute. And that doesn't mean Minako won't switch to calling him little depending on her current whim. What's a minute, really?

And even if Minato isn't used to her personality yet, he can't claim not to be forewarned. She may not have been a whirlwind at six but she was at least a decent gust.]

Are you calling me annoying, then? [What in this face could possibly be annoying? She's even going out of her way to keep your lap warm!]

[Nothing, in the scheme of things. Minako probably would have won the race if she had wanted to, now that he thinks about it. Carpe diem and all that shit. Seize the day. She just had to make sure her younger brother was out into the world first. Otherwise, she may gotten to enjoy being the older sibling by a considerably wider margin. Minato had a drowsy look about him. Might have preferred to stay in his corner and sleep while there was no one around to bother him.]

Am I?

[Yes, he is.

And cats do the same thing. They're pretty cute too. And tend to be pretty nosy when you close doors in their faces.

...He thinks he's seeing a pattern, really.

But regardless, he wouldn't have it any other way.]

Edited 2012-09-21 08:05 (UTC)

[ Minato sends a brainwave to Shinjiro saying, "You should call her Mineko. I swear it totally was not a childhood nickname." ]

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