Hizumi "every bad breakup song" Mizushiro (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bondsofsuffering) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
compnetwork2013-12-16 10:23 pm
bondsofsuffering) wrote in compnetwork2013-12-16 10:23 pm
Eleventh Curse (?)
[Audio]
You know, I've been thinking...
[Well. This is out of the blue. He continues to speak, his voice especially light and easy today.]
Hinoto-Ri isn't such a bad place, when you get right down to it. It gives a lot of opportunities you might not have had before - if you were sick, you're healthy. If you were dead, you're alive. You can do pretty much whatever you want! Philemon himself said we won't remember anything that happens here once we return to our worlds. We're technically here to save the people of Hinoto-Ri, but even if you don't do anything, there aren't any real repercussions. You'll still have a roof over your head whether you help or not.
That's a lot more than most people get.
I like it here! Sure, things could always go wrong - but that's fine. I've finally got a shot at living, not having to worry about getting sick or killed... It's about time I embraced that!
[There's a pause, but it's not hard to get the sense that he's got a satisfied grin on the other side of the feed despite the heaviness of those words.]
Ah-- Also, before I forget. Apparently there's another me going around. If you spot him, try and message me, will ya? He's probably harmless, but I think we should probably have a talk.
You know, I've been thinking...
[Well. This is out of the blue. He continues to speak, his voice especially light and easy today.]
Hinoto-Ri isn't such a bad place, when you get right down to it. It gives a lot of opportunities you might not have had before - if you were sick, you're healthy. If you were dead, you're alive. You can do pretty much whatever you want! Philemon himself said we won't remember anything that happens here once we return to our worlds. We're technically here to save the people of Hinoto-Ri, but even if you don't do anything, there aren't any real repercussions. You'll still have a roof over your head whether you help or not.
That's a lot more than most people get.
I like it here! Sure, things could always go wrong - but that's fine. I've finally got a shot at living, not having to worry about getting sick or killed... It's about time I embraced that!
[There's a pause, but it's not hard to get the sense that he's got a satisfied grin on the other side of the feed despite the heaviness of those words.]
Ah-- Also, before I forget. Apparently there's another me going around. If you spot him, try and message me, will ya? He's probably harmless, but I think we should probably have a talk.
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[-- live? Since when? Otonashi isn't angry if this is truly just a change of heart, but something still feels wrong about this.]
Usually people are afraid to admit that they want to... off themselves.
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I mean, weren't you the one who was so afraid of changing? You know. If you ever got your memories back. You might not be you anymore.
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How is that the same? I don't understand what you're saying...
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[He chuckles, here.]
They were all so scared... So terrified that if I were left alive, I'd turn around and kill them all. So no matter what it took, before I could become an adult... I had to die.
But, the joke's on them! I wouldn't have lived that long anyway - not with my body. But I didn't want to die like that, either. Rotting away all alone in some hospital, waiting for my body to slowly shut down--
No way! If it's going to be like that, it doesn't really matter what I do. So it's better to go quickly!
--Is what I thought, anyway. But it's so gloomy! Especially now that I don't have to worry about death. No one can kill me here, and my body isn't just going to fail. As long as I don't mind sacrificing some lives along the way, I've finally got a chance to survive!
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[Otonashi understands the words, logically. But the information feels like an alien language trying to break into his head, making it spin and ache and leaving him stunned into a deafening silence.]
W-why would you... have to sacrifice lives, if-- why would they be afraid of you killing..? I don't-- A-are you being serious right now..?
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[Despite that... utterly chipper tone.]
Haa, sorry, sorry, is this too much for you? Are you just going to block your ears and shut your eyes? But I guess that makes sense, too! Since you can't even look at your own memories straight on.
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[It's unusually biting and dismissive. It's almost like a role reversal with Hizumi being open and Otonashi trying to get away from an unsettling topic...]
Who are 'they?' And why are they so convinced you're going to kill? The only thing you've ever tried to kill is--
[-- yourself.]
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See? You're still doing it! I'll bet there's someone out there who'd take issue with that...
[But he's sure that Otonashi's Shadow will do fine on its own.]
The Watchers. And the Hunters, too. Not that you'd know about them! Followers of God, ready to do everything they can to stop the Devil and his kin from destroying humanity. Even if it meant killing children who were innocent up until that point - ah, well. It's better than leaving them to grow up as bloodthirsty murderers, isn't it?
But I was problematic. They couldn't just kill me. So they became even more afraid.
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[So passive aggressive.]
Maybe at one point... I would have told you that this was nonsense. That there was no such thing as a Devil or God, but... [Now he knew better. That rigid teenager that showed up in the afterlife in disbelief was gone.]
I'm listening. Was there really no other way besides... killing?
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It's kind of like those! I'm normal - enough, anyway. Nobody would suspect me of killing, so they accept me. A lot of people even enjoy being around me! After all, you keep talking to me, no matter what I do!
[You can hear the grin in his words.]
But it's still in my nature. So when the time comes, I'll start to push. One by one, I'll get rid of the humans around me, until there aren't any more left.
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I worry about you. I guess I can't leave well enough alone, okay? We're not talking about flaws in my personality.
['In my nature,' he says...]
How do you know? You said there were other... "Devil kin." Is that what they all did? Start taking human lives?
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In fact, the mint-haired boy seems to get upset at the very idea of someone else dying. So why--?]
H-how many times did that... happen? Do you know?
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But all of that... in the end, it doesn't really concern me so much! I can't do anything for them, and they can't do anything for me. Even if we're related, we're too different.
There's just no saving them. But as long as I stay here, there's a chance I can make it - well, in a manner of speaking, anyway!
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[Couldn't someone have influenced these 'murderers?' Something about their environment? Nature versus nurture?
He had only been given such little information before now. The last time they had even touched the subject was back at the hospital, when--
Otonashi stops, biting his lip.]
... This is why. This is why you looked so horrified that day that you got a clean bill of health. You don't want this. I know you don't want to kill...
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[It defied all logic. When he speaks again, his words actually sound somewhat... solemn, for once.]
...It's true; I don't really want to kill anyone.
But! [And we are back to chipper, here.] I don't want to die, either.
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But as for me... I'm full-blooded.
It's not that my blood will imitate the effects of theirs. It's that their blood is imitating the effects of mine.
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[He would really rather not think too hard about Hizumi and children, but it might be an important detail, so...]
Does that mean that... you... uh.
[... Yeeeahh.]
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No, no. I'm just the uncle!
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[He's thinking aloud, mostly. This is... kind of a lot to absorb. Everyone seems so sure of these children being murderous, so why would anyone want to create them in the first place? And why couldn't anyone find a better solution than killing these children?
And--]
Where did the Devil even come from? I'd understand if you didn't know, but this is all so...
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So based on that... wouldn't it make sense to have lots of children? They'll blend right in with the rest of humanity until the time is right. And once their devil's blood takes over...
They can begin the slaughter!
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[The more he learns, the more his heart sinks.]
Hizumi... Did that Devil lose this "game?" Did he become murderous and have to-- be picked off? Or did his body break him down too?
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