Eleventh Curse (?)

[bondsofsuffering]

[Audio]

You know, I've been thinking...

[Well. This is out of the blue. He continues to speak, his voice especially light and easy today.]

Hinoto-Ri isn't such a bad place, when you get right down to it. It gives a lot of opportunities you might not have had before - if you were sick, you're healthy. If you were dead, you're alive. You can do pretty much whatever you want! Philemon himself said we won't remember anything that happens here once we return to our worlds. We're technically here to save the people of Hinoto-Ri, but even if you don't do anything, there aren't any real repercussions. You'll still have a roof over your head whether you help or not.

That's a lot more than most people get.

I like it here! Sure, things could always go wrong - but that's fine. I've finally got a shot at living, not having to worry about getting sick or killed... It's about time I embraced that!

[There's a pause, but it's not hard to get the sense that he's got a satisfied grin on the other side of the feed despite the heaviness of those words.]

Ah-- Also, before I forget. Apparently there's another me going around. If you spot him, try and message me, will ya? He's probably harmless, but I think we should probably have a talk.

Comments

[audio]

[melodyoflogic]

[the response is carefully audio, but the voice is familiar enough that he should recognize it. He didn't want to show his face to everyone else just yet.... But Hizumi's sentiments were pleasing, to say the least.]

I agree entirely.

[His voice is entirely pleasant.]

People end up taking so many things for granted, or throwing away perfectly good chances... It's such a waste. Why stop yourself from reaching for what you want?

[audio]

[bondsofsuffering]

Right? With all these opportunities, we should be taking full advantage of them!

[He sounds similarly pleased. He recognizes the voice of course, even if those words are something he knows the real Ayumu would never say. Perhaps he's found an ally?]

But seeing people throw them away instead... It's kind of annoying, don't you think?

[audio]

[melodyoflogic]

More than annoying... it's pathetic.

[An ally indeed. Maybe they could help each other.]

[audio]

[bondsofsuffering]

Really, people like that don't deserve the opportunities they get.

It they're so stubborn against it, it would be better if they just disappeared!

[audio]

[melodyoflogic]

And when they disappear, someone who will use those opportunities like they should can have their chance.

[audio]

[bondsofsuffering]

Then we agree!

Maybe it would be better if we looked together?

[audio] pretend the eyes are still yellow here ok

[melodyoflogic]

Sounds like a plan. [There's that pleased tone again. He knew he could count on him, if anyone.]

Should we meet up, or split up?

[Voice]

[hachitaro]

[The laugh that comes across isn't entirely pleasant. There's something almost guttural about the way Taro's voice sounds.]

I don't know if these people deserve saving anyway. A lot of them hate us.

[Voice]

[bondsofsuffering]

Well, I don't know about that... But then again, I'm not really interested in saving them as individuals, either.

[Voice]

[hachitaro]

You're human, though. I'm not. It's easy for them to lump me into an 'evil' category.

[Voice]

[bondsofsuffering]

Well, human for now, I suppose. In the future, they might come to hate me too.

But even if it meant being hated, as long as I could live through that, I don't think I'd care.

[Besides, the future him would likely just kill them anyway. In the end, it wouldn't really matter.]

[Voice]

[hachitaro]

Maybe. But people do terrible things. But you won't leave me. Right?

[Voice]

[bondsofsuffering]

As long as you stay here too--

I won't. We can be friends for life!

[otakuro]

Hizumi...

[There is something strange about the way this person is talking. Hizumi is usually jovial, but -- ]

What are you saying? Didn't you have a 'shot at living' while you were home?

[bondsofsuffering]

No way! If I went back there, I'd die for sure.

[otakuro]

[what]






You'd what?! What do you mean --

[well no it was pretty clear what he meant]

Why?

..............You have a sickness?

[bondsofsuffering]

Bingo! If I went back again, I'd have maybe three years, tops. Most of that time would be in the hospital anyway... Ah, and that's also assuming that no one kills me first.

[It's... pretty jarring, how cheerfully he talks about all of this.]

That's exactly why Hinoto-Ri is so great, though! I'm not sick, and I definitely won't be killed--

I can do whatever I want!

[otakuro]

Is that --

[Hizumi had pretty much told them straight out what was wrong with him, but it takes a slight leap of logic for Atsuro to arrive at his next statement.]

That time we passed each other in the streets and you looked... upset. More out of it than I've ever seen you before. Was that because of this?

[bondsofsuffering]

Well, naturally. According to God's composition, I'm supposed to die. It was absolute - there just wasn't any escaping it. No one could save me from that fate. Even if, by some miracle, there was a way... there's no way they would take that risk. I'm just too dangerous to leave alive.

video;

[trainwrecking]

I've been trying to tell you that.

[It's... odd. Yuzuru had met Hizumi during one -- one of many -- of the mint-haired boy's suicide attempts. Wasn't Hizumi himself his own worst enemy when it came to life or death?

Something is wrong.]

... What changed?

video;

[bondsofsuffering]

Nothing changed. Of course I want to live.

[That's the most natural instinct, after all. Survival, no matter what it takes.]

I was just too scared to admit it.

video;

[trainwrecking]

You insisted that you had to die so many times. Of course you want to --?

[-- live? Since when? Otonashi isn't angry if this is truly just a change of heart, but something still feels wrong about this.]

Usually people are afraid to admit that they want to... off themselves.

video;

[bondsofsuffering]

Heeeh... but it's something you should understand, right Otonashi?

I mean, weren't you the one who was so afraid of changing? You know. If you ever got your memories back. You might not be you anymore.

video;

[trainwrecking]

[Maybe so, but--]

How is that the same? I don't understand what you're saying...

video;

[bondsofsuffering]

Because if I continue to live like this, I'll definitely change.

[He chuckles, here.]

They were all so scared... So terrified that if I were left alive, I'd turn around and kill them all. So no matter what it took, before I could become an adult... I had to die.

But, the joke's on them! I wouldn't have lived that long anyway - not with my body. But I didn't want to die like that, either. Rotting away all alone in some hospital, waiting for my body to slowly shut down--

No way! If it's going to be like that, it doesn't really matter what I do. So it's better to go quickly!

--Is what I thought, anyway. But it's so gloomy! Especially now that I don't have to worry about death. No one can kill me here, and my body isn't just going to fail. As long as I don't mind sacrificing some lives along the way, I've finally got a chance to survive!