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[Video] Is this a dream?

[Video feed turns on and reveals a genuinely confused guy looking at the screen.]

Uh... Hi everyone. I was supposed to be in a headlock by one of my friends at school and at the brink of death. I know this isn't the afterlife since there's so many times I got real close to crossing that river, so is it some kind of dream land?

Sorry, but will anyone be able to give me answers of where this place is? This watch gave me some info but I'm still having trouble understanding what it's saying.

Oh, I almost forgot. My name's Akihisa Yoshii. Nice to meet everyone.

((ooc: Would a mod be so kind to add his tag into the tag list...? ;w;))

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One question left? Alright, uh.....

[Akihisa thinks hard, wondering what he should ask. Well, this place still looked like some strange form of dream land from a comic series, and then he got a name of someone who'd be the best person to ask. Well that takes care of most things...]

...Who're you?

Santa Claus, at your service. Only I guess I'm only at your service if you're not a naughty kid.

So, do I get three questions or what?

Santa... Claus....... [Akihisa stares at you for a while until his facial expression changes from a blank look to a surprised face. Wait are you serious, a REAL Santa Claus???]

Wait you're a real Santa Claus?! I thought they were just fairy tale characters for little kids?!

[Wait three questions? Huh.]

Huh? Do you have questions to ask too? I don't know if I'll be of any help, but okay.

Well I don't have any questions to ask you right now, but I'll be sure to ask you the three questions you can't refuse when I need to.

[Seems like a good deal, right?]

But back up to the fourth question you asked for a second - and this one I'll give you for free - haven't you ever heard of Saint Nicholas?

[If you show any - or no - interest then he will infodump all over you. Beware.]

Edited 2012-10-08 17:00 (UTC)

Uh... So you mean when you get questions to ask me, I'll have to answer them...? Are you some kind of teacher or something? That sounds real close to how a pop quiz sounds like.

[And then he thinks hard at the question.]

Well... I think I've heard of that name somewhere, but I'm not sure...

I wouldn't say I was a teacher, but I do teach naughty kids how to behave.

The questions I had in mind were intrusive questions that someone would rather die than answer; you know? Like secrets and stuff. Not for a test.

[Wait wait did he just say he wasn't...]

You're not sure where that name comes from..? Jesus Christ...

[And no, he wasn't asking if Aki knew that name.]

Oh. So are you some kind of detective then? Detectives uncover other people's secrets, right?

[But then why wouldn't this guy say he's one outright? This guy's pretty confusing.]

...Is Saint Nicholas some historical figure? I haven't finished studying world history yet.

Alright, Yoshii, listen close;

Saint Nicholas is the main figure behind the whole Christian idea of Santa Claus, more or less. He was an old dude from way back - and I'm not talking a few decades. This guy wasn't decked out in flares from the 1970s - he was rockin' whatever it was Saints wore back in 270 AD, crazy right?

[Don't answer that, it's really crazy.]

Nicholas was well known for giving stuff to the poor; gifts, handouts, stuff like that. He was a regular saint, this guy. He saved three girls from becoming prostitutes by giving 'em all a large sum of money, each.

Despite being religious as all hell, that was a big thing for someone to do. Not everybody was cut out to be a saint, I guess.

[Santa pauses for a second to let Yoshii catch up. If he can.]

Anyway, on the sixth or nineteeth of December some folks still celebrate St Nicholas Day and give presents to children and stuff, since the dude was the patron saint of children.

[Sure that wasn't the only thing he was the Patron Saint of, but the rest wasn't important yet.]

You with me so far?

The American, British and more modern image of Santa Claus is derived from that legend, so even though Santa Claus isn't a real person he is based on a real dude who lived a long time ago.

Get it? He isn't just a fairy tale character; he's a character derived from a legend based on a real life man.

[And he finishes without much fanfare. Hope that helped you, Aki.]

Uh... [He wasn't prepared for a sudden lecture nope. He's at a loss at how much this guy can talk. Is this guy really not a teacher?]

So Santa Claus really exists?

[...In the Nonary Game you wouldn't last an hour, Aki.]

...No, he was sort of the movie version of a real guy.

Does that make any more sense?

[No, he wouldn't. He's not Probationary Student for nothing!]

Oooh, okay! Got it! Thanks for clarifying, haha!

[Now he's going to remember Santa Claus as "a movie version of a real guy." Yep.]

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