compnetwork | Video

"HMHMHMHMHMM-MWAHAHAHAHAA!"

The feed starts with, well...Desco being Desco-ish. As she turns the camera around, setting things up, there's a brief glimpse of the streets of Hinoto-Ri far below - she must be flying at a pretty high altitude.

Once she's finished setting things up, it becomes apparent that she's riding on something bizarre-looking, sitting cross-legged and leaning against the ten-foot statue of a Japanese girl in a penguin hat.

"Behold, Hinoto-Ri! Desco, the Final Boss, has returned from the depths of Hades! Having overcome heartache and my own weaknesses, I have transformed into...PERFECT DESCO!"

At this she jumps to her feet and strikes a cool pose.

"Mwahahaha! Since the time Desco has left, so much has happened! Desco will now share with you the culmination of her dreams! It's very important that from now on you defer to Desco in all things, because she has CONQUERED THE EARTH. And since she rules the entire Earth, then naturally Hinoto-Ri is one of her possessions!"

A slight pause to let that sink in.

"Desco will naturally allow the current corrupternment to continue administrating Hinoto-Ri for her, since she only wants the fun parts of power and not the boring meaningless paperwork. In the meantime, Desco is forming the Netherworld Invasion Squadron Alpha, or N.I.S.A! Any Visitors that want to help Desco invade and conquer the demon world can simply contact her inbox and either swear fealty to Desco - she already has it, since you are living in her city, but it's nice to observe the formalities - or name their price for mercenary work!"

Grin grin grin.

"This is Desco, Ruler of Earth, signing out!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Desco just turned four! And it's dumb to say someone's too young for something they already did!"

All right. On the assumption that you're telling the truth I'll rescind the age comment. Because you're right, that is kind of stupid. [Also you're about fifteen, Erk.]

I'm still not sure Hinoto-Ri counts as part of "the Earth", and I'm not sure where that is, anyway.

...what.

"...the Earth means the planet. This one. That we are on."

Well, forgive me for not being from the same world as this. Cut off as the city seems to be, I'm not sure how you can tell it's still on Earth. It could just as easily be on Elibe, or there might be nothing at all outside the barrier.

"The people that live here say it used to be on Earth, so Desco is content to take them at their word!"

"Used to be" isn't the same as "is", though. And I suspect, by virtue of the presence of so many Visitors, that Hinoto-Ri is a very different place than it was when it was on Earth.

[Erk may be overestimating the amount of impact the Visitors have on the city. And perhaps how long Visitors have been A Thing.]

Desco just sort of stares.

"Desco is starting to think you're just trying to weasel out of owing fealty to her. Bad subject! Bad! Do not disobey the Queen of Evil Deeds!"

I've already got a king, thank you. And a count, who also happens to be my teacher. So I'm not really in the market for a queen at the moment. Particularly since I try not to do evil deeds if I can help it, so naturally I would not owe fealty to the Queen of them.

[He doesn't exactly expect this to carry much weight; it never did when Serra was declaring people vassals. But he's going to try.]

"That's fine, you can just serve Desco in her capacity as an angel, then!"

Pause.

"Miss Archangel declared Desco an angel, by the way. Desco isn't sure she mentioned that."

No, I don't think you did.

... Are you actually going to do different things as an angel than you do as the Queen of Evil Deeds? I would have thought those would be mutually exclusive.

"Desco is not sure! She's only an angel because Big Sis formed a phantom thief gang and the Archangel insisted. So maybe Desco is only an angel when she's ste-collecting things?"

Yes. Collecting. That is what a phantom thief does. Not stealing.

That's, uh... an interesting way to get made an angel.

What does a phantom thief do differently than the regular sort, exactly?

"When we formed the Beautiful Phantom Thieves Tri-Angels, it was to collect a jillion HL from the Netherworld Mint! They owed it to Big Sis because she saved the Netherworld so many times. Only they didn't let us in, so we just destroyed their security and took over the entire place!"

So the difference is that phantom thieves aren't actually sneaky?

"...Desco guesses so."

She doesn't sound very certain.

I'm not sure why you have to be an angel for that. I should have thought the Queen of Evil Deeds would be perfectly fine with stealing things. And perhaps that angels would take issue with it, actually.

"Well, it was the Netherworld Mint! Maybe Miss Flonne didn't mind because we were collecting from demons?"

A slight pause as she considers.

"...also Miss Flonne is actually kind of a weirdo."

"Kind of a weirdo" generally explains an awful lot. I've been in an army comprised mostly of people who were kind of weirdos.

... I'm assuming that's how the word is used.

Nod nod.

"Alright then! Tell Desco your name, vassal!"

I thought we went over that I'm not going to be your vassal. I have people I owe fealty already - even if you rule the city that doesn't make me your vassal automatically.

Though if you're going to insist, milady... [wow that was heavy on the sarcasm] My name is Erk.

Desco accepts the name without comment, mostly because she's used to weird names. Like Nintendon't.

"Desco's full name is Death/Extermination Submersible Combat Organism Kazamatsuri! You may continue to call her Desco, though. And if the people that rule you show up in the city, that makes them Desco's subjects, which would make you Desco's grand-subject! So it's easier to just accept Desco's absolute dominance in all things, because it's inevitable. Don't worry, Desco is going to be a claws-off tyrannical overlord, because she is busy figuring out how to conquer the Netherworld."

No, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't. A king doesn't stop being a king just because he's in someone else's kingdom.

[He almost starts to explain what would make them Desco's subjects - going and conquering their lands as well - but that strikes him as a bad move.]

That said, I'm pleased to hear you won't be the sort of ruler who gets intrusive. Is there a particular reason you don't include the last word in your name as part of your abbreviation?

"Kazamatsuri is Desco's family name, duh!"

Ah, that makes sense, I suppose. My apologies, surnames aren't very common where I come from.

Nod nod.

"Desco only has one because she's from Earth, not the Netherworld!"

(no subject)

dontcallmeerky - 2013-09-03 21:18 (UTC) - Expand

tyrantball - 2013-09-03 21:27 (UTC) - Expand

dontcallmeerky - 2013-09-03 21:36 (UTC) - Expand