compnetwork | 004 [Video/Public]

[VINDICATION YES WEEKS OF WASTING HOURS READING ABOUT THE MOST POINTLESS CRAP HE'S EVER HAD TO STUDY COME TO FRUITION PRAISE THE GODS HE HAD BETTER GET SOME KIND OF MEDAL WHEN THIS WAS DONE

No wait this was a bad thing ahem yes very bad the proper thing to do in this case was to maintain a certain air of decorum and er grave sincerity yes grave. ...Atsuro can't help grinning slightly anyway as the COMP feed flickers on.]

Look sharp, guys. Those of you who were around back in October know what this means. For everyone else... The news broadcast probably could have stood to be a little more informative.

Let's do a quick recap. Back in October, about a week before the 23rd, we started noticing that a few of us were acting a little strange. This escalated over the next few days until some of us were brainwashed into trying to attack people and some of us were brainwashed into being terrified of everything that moved. And, uh... sometime during all this, all of these giant scorpions started falling from the sky or something; I don't know. It was probably a totally related natural progression. Anyway, on the 23rd itself, a really huge scorpion monster appeared, and a few of us had to beat it off. We compared notes afterwards and realized that the behavioral changes all had to do with what star sign you had. If you have no idea what that is, just hold on a sec. The important thing is that the ones who were attacking had the sign of Scorpio and the ones who were frightened were Leos, Taurii, and Aquarius...es...ii.

I know a lot of you aren't from Earth, or if you are from Earth, you're not from the right time period to even have Scorpius or Taurus as constellations anymore. I can do a quick explanation of astrology if you want, but it's really a lot of trouble for something that's pretty much meaningless for you - It has to do with what day of the year you were born in, and which imaginary pictures formed by stars in the sky were closest to the sun then. There are 12 of them, and each one is supposed to mean different things about your personality and the people you'll fall in love with or something. ...Try not to think about it too much. You can just take a look at the little ID cards you get when you come to the city and your completely arbitrary sign should be listed there.

Anyway, we're already off schedule. The 21st - that's today - is the first day we're supposed to be under the sign of Taurus. If a monster appears, it's probably not going to happen for a few days so it looks like the government is trying to quarantine everyone before it does.

The one thing is... I don't want to undermine our great government or anything, but I don't think their predictions are right. Scorpios were the main targets last time because the sun was swinging into that area of the night sky; Leos, Aquariuses, and Taurii were affected because of something to do with the relationship between the signs. I never could find any consistent information or an exact chart or anything, but I don't think it's just going to be the same people as six months ago. We'll be able to gather more data after this round, but I think everyone should be on guard for emotional changes, regardless of what your sign is.

...Also be on guard for giant bulls, because that's really not going to be fun at all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

idk i keep imagining some female centaur type thing. the demons like having their tits out a bit too much. i know. experience.

...

Why can't we go two exchanges without getting back into something weirdly sexual Kazuya

its not my fault!!1 demons are just like that okay!? not that i'm sexual i mean okay stopping that trail of thought immediately coz i think that breaches the best friend tmi line or something idk M ONSTER. ZODIAC MONSTER. BIG. POWERFUL. OKAY. SO WHAT DO WHEN IT ARRIVES.

[Kazuya couldn't be more obvious with his fluster if he tried]

We have already breached every TMI line possible it's too late we've reached critical breachage

I don't know. I guess we try and fight it off. It worked last time.

so does that mean we can compare porn collections now-- didnt we all have to be of a certain star sign to fight it off though? i dunno, i can't really remember the scorpio event that well

no kazuya it means i am writing up our friendship divorce contract
yes that is a real thing

Right. Last time, it was one of each star sign, so... 12 of us. ...It got a little... crowded.

(´Д｀。) no don't i love you sounds like it. esp since like half of those were prolly insane or whatever

Your cutesy emoticons can't save you this time Kazuya!!

Maybe we should just tie twelve of us up in a helicopter this time, and when the boss appears, drop everyone on top of it. The power of friendship and all of that should kick in at that point, right?

ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ !!!!!!!! i just imagined everyone sky diving on top of a boss. it was pretty rad. but dunno if power of friendship can trump terminal velocity (°ヘ°) maybe it'd be better just t oshoot everyone out of a cannon

...Hey! What if we shoot the boss out of a cannon into the moon?

but then the boss'll be on a moon and you know what happens when villains are on moons moon bases

But it's a bull. Bulls don't have opposable thumbs; I don't think they can build anything.

they're monster bulls for a reason!!! they may be abominations and have thumbs!!1

...K, we'll chop their thumbs off if they have them and then shoot them to the moon.

Maybe they can make mochi with the rabbit.

they cant make mochi without thumbs duh

They can pound on it with their hooves! Rabbits only need hammers because they're so light.

but they walk on hooves! itd be all gross and so unhygienic!!!

.............Dirt flavored mochi seems like it could be a popular trend. Organic.

u r gros ew

Why do you hate the planet Kazuya =(

because its full of misery and woe and because i cant get free ice cream anymore :\ once youre no longer cute no one wants to give you stuff anymore

When did anyone ever give you free ice cream? Did you go around robbing ice cream trucks as a kid?

i knew how to play the field as a kid atsuro i was an adorable child

Juvenile delinquent.

dont be hatin the player now

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