(no subject)

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

[ The feed, as it is wont to do, flickers on, showing a chipper boy of 13, blue eyes and messy brown hair and--is that a golden laurel wreath on his head? And is he wearing a tunic? And are those wings visible behind him? ]

Hey everyone! My name's Pit. I'm new here! Thought I'd just say hi to all my new neighbors. It's nice to meet you, whoever you are!

Comments

[video]

[getoutclaus]

[Santa has seen a whole lot of shit in his time; but this is something he hasn't seen before. He makes a quick mental note to ask this kid about the wings later before answering the message]

You should be careful before you say it's nice to meet people whoever they are, man. People you don't know, and even people you do, can turn around and knife you in the back before you know it.

...The feeling is appreciated, though, thanks.

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

I know some people are backstabbers. I'm not as young as I look!

[getoutclaus]

Not "some people" - most people are backstabbers given the right incentive.

And don't gimmie that shit; age has nothing to do with naivety so I don't care even if you're still shitting in diapers or not, you should still be careful.

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

I can also take care of myself, thanks.

[getoutclaus]

Good thing, too, 'cuz nobody else is gonna.

[A beat]

Unless you've got friends from back home with you.

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

...I don't know. I could always check!

Have you seen a real pretty lady with long green hair and a white dress? She only wears one sock.

[getoutclaus]

One sock, huh?

How many legs has she got?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

Two.

[getoutclaus]

What's with the one sock then?

[He is actually interested because... why would she wear one sock if she had two legs?]

I mean... is she a dancer or something?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

She's a goddess.

[getoutclaus]

And she only wears one sock because she's a goddess?

What's her name, Terpsichore?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

Palutena.

[getoutclaus]

Shit... so she's not the muse of dancing and music, then?

[Shoot. There goes the one sock - goddess - dancer connection.]

What's Palutena's deal then? Howcome she only wears one sock?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

I dunno! Maybe she only likes wearing one sock. I never asked her.

[getoutclaus]

Why the fuck wouldn't you ask why she only ever wore one sock?

Pit you have problems, man.

[He sighs,]

One of those problems being that I haven't seen your friend.

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

You could have just said that instead of making fun of her!

[getoutclaus]

Coulda, woulda, shoulda, man.

I was interested, alright? What's the big problem?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

Interested in what?

[ He is eying you Mr. Santa Man ]

[getoutclaus]

Why she only wore one fucking sock. Jesus Christ...

[What is your deal, angel boy?]

So how did you end up friends with a God?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

I'm an angel. It's my job. Not to be her friend, but her servant.

Although I guess I am sort of her friend....

[getoutclaus]

H-Huh? You're an angel?! Like a genuine angel?

Are you shitting me?!

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

...you didn't notice the wings?

[getoutclaus]

[Of course he did, and the thought of angels had occured to him but come on that's not likely, is it??]

What, you've never heard of cosplay?

[gforceinmyfaaaace]

Do these look like fake wings to you?

[ That would be yes, he has heard of cosplay. ]

[getoutclaus]

You get some pretty realistic fakes, you know.

You wouldn't watch a horror flick and think "oh shit that's a real murder", would you? No matter how brutal and real it is.