Text: This is a public service announcement

[lighter_flick]

[After he wakes up from that weird dream, it takes him a few more hours to realize that Eikichi is, somehow, missing. And...that was it! That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back! Because by mid-morning, there is an angry-looking text post from Tatsuya on the network, with only these words of warning.]

ATTN: HINOTO-RI

PHILEMON WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE

[That's....it. Maybe he should elaborate.]

Comments

[misery_hates_company]

Oh my, and so eloquently put too! Clearly you have enlightened us all with your calm, nuanced argument. Ho ho ho!

That said, regardless of what you may say, what exactly do you intend to do about this little problem, hmm?

[lighter_flick]

WELL I ~~~~~~~~INTEND~~~~~~~~~~~ TO PUNCH HIM AGAIN IF I SEE HIM NEXT.

THEN I INTEND TO FIND WHERE THE HELL EVERYONE WENT.

AND AFTER ALL THAT I ~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~INTEND~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ TO GET MY HANDS ON NYARLATHOTEP TOO.

IS THAT A GOOD ITINERARY FOR YOU?

[misery_hates_company]

Goodness, you have it all planned out, don't you? And what replaces these two when they're gone, hmm?

[lighter_flick]

I DON'T WANT THEM GONE, THEY'RE HUMANITY ITSELF, THEY CAN'T REALLY BE GONE.

I JUST DON'T WANT THEM DICKING AROUND IN THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE ANYMORE.

WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING, I DO WANT NYARLATHOTEP GONE BUT THAT'S BECAUSE HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES AT ALL.

[misery_hates_company]

If they are humanity themselves, then is it really them "dicking around," or is it humanity itself messing in its own affairs? After all, they are our own creations.

[lighter_flick]

YOU KNOW I'M REALLY NOT SURE, BUT MAYBE IT'S BOTH.

WHY CAN'T IT BE BOTH?

[misery_hates_company]

Well then, if it's both, then what good does it REALLY do trying to ignore them when humans can do just as much damage without some sort of vague representation of themselves? Really, you'd be amazed how much destruction an army or two can cause in pursuit of a little power.

[lighter_flick]

NO I ACTUALLY KNOW THE FEELING, YEAH.

[Remember that time that Nazis suddenly invaded Japan?]