P H A R O S || residence of protag's headspace (
the_usual_stuff) wrote in
compnetwork2012-12-19 07:23 am
[TEXT] ☾ second phrase: what is christmas
good evening Hinoto-Ri. the oddity of the recent weather aside, i do hope you've been well!
i have a question to ask you; well several questions to be honest. a holiday celebrated by humans is coming up soon, correct? it's called christmas and you're supposed to buy gifts for your friends and loved ones and... put them under a tree. i'm not entirely sure why.
[At least, that's what he thinks it is about. The general gist of it; anyway hey, a chance to show he cares aboutMinato and Minako people and give them presents for the fun of it. But he needs to make absolutely sure he selects the right gifts! Which he has no experience shopping for. :D]
so, what would someone who enjoys music, spending time with their friends, and eating large amounts of food want for christmas? or someone who is loud, enjoys karaoke and talking about himself like as a present? i would appreciate input from others.
[PRIVATE TO RYOJI]
ryoji what do you think they would like?
[C'mon older self, you've grown up and spent some time as a teenager with them, surely you know about to shop for protags on the holidays. Maybe he should get Ekikichi a bottle of hair gel.
Pharos is also facing the dilemma of not... having any money at all to buy presents with, being a kid who does not have a job! Even if he figures out which things he should get for them. Woe. And if he asks the Arisatos for money, that kinda defeats the purpose of buying them presents to begin with... And no, this post isn't locked from either of them btw. ]
i have a question to ask you; well several questions to be honest. a holiday celebrated by humans is coming up soon, correct? it's called christmas and you're supposed to buy gifts for your friends and loved ones and... put them under a tree. i'm not entirely sure why.
[At least, that's what he thinks it is about. The general gist of it; anyway hey, a chance to show he cares about
so, what would someone who enjoys music, spending time with their friends, and eating large amounts of food want for christmas? or someone who is loud, enjoys karaoke and talking about himself like as a present? i would appreciate input from others.
[PRIVATE TO RYOJI]
ryoji what do you think they would like?
[C'mon older self, you've grown up and spent some time as a teenager with them, surely you know about to shop for protags on the holidays. Maybe he should get Ekikichi a bottle of hair gel.
Pharos is also facing the dilemma of not... having any money at all to buy presents with, being a kid who does not have a job! Even if he figures out which things he should get for them. Woe. And if he asks the Arisatos for money, that kinda defeats the purpose of buying them presents to begin with... And no, this post isn't locked from either of them btw. ]

2/2 action!
Meaning they had... It wasn't possible to defeat Her. That would akin to stopping the sun from raising or the tides from moving. But it was possible to restrain her to limit her, to keep her from making contact with Erebus. With... a seal. They had died to save humanity, to save their friends, and they were dead because they had stopped from occuring what humans themselves had desired; an end.]
... But... That means, then. But, why would they...
[And that's the only outward sigh he gives of his turmoil as he sits there; how short and confused sentences his sentences have been reduced to. He hadn't processed beyond an incomplete shallow sense of shock and unfairness, to anything like anger or sadness yet.
Congratulation, Ryoji. You have made Pharos speechless.]
no subject
... They didn't want it to happen. They didn't want Nyx to be called down, to end everything. They wanted to prevent the Fall, with all they had. They learned to face Death, and to overcome it. To not fear it, to stand against it.
It was their choice, in the end. I gave them the chance to kill me, to end their memories of Tartarus, Personas, to return to their normal lives, with no knowledge of the Fall... but they wouldn't. They decided to fight.
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Eleven people out of billions decided to prevent the end of everything.]
... There was their choice? To fight when victory seemed impossible, to defend their right to live. [It came out very quiet, and Pharos frowned, brow furrowing: something as dim and fragile as that.] They chose that over the ability to live out normal lives without their knowledge of the Dark Hour, or the Fall? And you gave them that choice.
[He'd offered them a choice instead of an ultimatum.
It seemed he had been more tainted by humanity then he had originally assumed. Pharos did not view this as a bad thing per se, but certainly not an occurrence he had thought would happen to any pharase of himself: his lack of faith in humans did not mean he disliked them.]
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[He can't help but sadly smile about it, thinking back on it...]
No matter what I did, I couldn't shake their confidence. I took my original form, I tried to show them I was just a monster underneath, but... they still let me live. We have wonderful friends, Pharos.
no subject
["We have wonderful friends, Pharos."
He sat in silence, trying to understand, but repeatedly failing. His sentence are still short and confused.
The personification of Death had rarely considered himself beyond the occasional abstract thought; he was to be the harbinger of the Fall, the promise Nyx had given humanity at the same time it had been granted life, and roll out the figurative red carpet for the maternal entity's descend, that was the basis of his existence. He had managed to work his kindred spirits into that as well but he had accepted without thought that they would die alongside everyone else. They wouldn't have been happy if they were the only ones that had survived, to dwell alone in the night; so they would allowed the same mercy as their friends.
If the Fall would not happen... If Minako and Minato had used themselves to stop it from coming.
Where did that leave him?
Abruptly, the awful emotions began to slow and churn, calming but not leaving. He felt tired.]
Given the choice between living only a carefree present, or a future of certain defeat... They didn't kill us. Even after you temporarily dispelled the guise of a human?
...
Monster? Is that what you think we are?
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... but that's what we are, isn't it? In human terms. Our true form is a monstrous creature, and not human in the slightest. The form of Death. Many people would call Death a monster, wouldn't they?
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[Idly, he glanced down at his hand. Andーfor a second, pale skin vanished to reveal the blackness under it, a glimpse of a powder white glove, its dark girth disproportional to the rest of the thin armーand then its gone, the illusion of flesh fixed back in place. He looked back up at his older self.]
... I suppose so. But humans don't exactly see things as they are. The titles they bestow upon us are only that; titles. Inhuman? Yes, I'd accept that as true, but our form is not solely that of a monster. [Beastly, terrifying, and inhuman and savage. A whole range of descriptions that were correct. But referring to it as monster was pushing it in his opinion; what was bad about carrying out their function?] Death is an end. There is nothing especially monstrous about an end, Ryoji.
no subject
"It matters not who you are... Death awaits you." I don't think it's monstrous, I suppose I'm just used to it being described as monstrous.
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[Well said.
Alright good he's knows that much. But of course he knows that, they're the same after all. Pharos glances away from Ryoji for a moment, mulling what he has learned from this over, the young boy's face placid and blank. And the realization of what this information means for himself makes his throat feel oddly gunked up and tight, his chest empty.
If Mother could not follow through on her promise, if Minako and Minato did not want her to... Had they promised the wrong solution? No, surely not.
His shoulder slumped the slightest bit.
But he doesn't know how to express this sensation in words so he settles for a short;]
Well then... Please don't regard us as a monster.
no subject
[It was just something he used to think was monstrous. Not he's a bit different, after everything that's happened.]