[Voice | Video | Text]

[stupidmeatbags]

[Voice]
[The network is about to get a work out today. It starts with a voice message; it starts out garbled and difficult to hear, despite the fact that the voices are speaking rather loudly in their argument, but eventually it comes in with better clarity.]

Exclamation: OBSOLETE?! You oversized bucket of bolts! I could put a blaster bolt through your central processing unit at a hundred and twenty kilometers with one arm disconnected! You--

[And the transmission dissolves into static before timing out.]

[Text]
[Some time later, a text goes out, and... well, it obviously an error of some kind, because it is just the same message over and over again.]

MEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGSMEATBAGS

[...this continues for a few hours before it finally stops.]

[Video]
[About an hour later, a view of a workshop of some kind comes in, but it's completely tinted red. There's the sound of tinkering, before the voice from before comes in loud and clear.]

Diagnostic: *SIGH* ...those are my photoreceptors. Query: Honestly, who programmed you?

[And the video immediately cuts out.]

[Video]
[Finally some hours later, everyone gets to see the reason for all these malfunctions on the network, though the video is a little strange. Because of how the droid that appears is built, he does not have his own video function. Therefore, the individual he had been arguing with had to install an extra function on the COMP that would show a simulated version of the droid anytime he wanted to transmit video. The simulation mimics the droid rather well and is almost like the real thing, except it's tinted blue, and no background can be seen.]

Statement: It seems the electronic butchery I was forced to endure has put you meatbags at an inconvenience. If you must blame someone, I suggest directing your attention to the MECHANIC.

[...another sarcastic robot. Aren't you just so lucky, Hinoto-Ri?]

Continuation: But I digress. Greeting: I am HK-47, assassination and protocol droid.

[A pause, and HK-47 seemed to look irritated despite the fact that his face can't express emotion.]

Diagnostic: It seems I still have no discretionary control over my vocabulator. How upsetting.

[Another pause, as HK looked off screen to someone that had spoke.]

Statement: No you can NOT fix it. You've done enough damage!

[HK let out an irritable noise, turning his focus back forward.]

Statement: I require information on the status of my current master, a meatbag that designates herself as "Meetra Surik". I do hope she is still functional; I really would like to kill some deserving meatbags right now.

Comments

[video]

[forcebonded]

[She stares, doing a mental tally-up of limbs—nope, arms and legs all accounted for.]

I'm what?

[video]

[stupidmeatbags]

Explanation: Must I really make myself clearer, meatbag? You are lacking the appendage that is necessary for procreation.

[stupidmeatbags]

Statement: Ah, wonderful. Your response would have been much more useful had it come earlier.

...

Meatbag.

[video]

[forcebonded]

[...]

[Okay, Revan, it's been a long confusing day and surely there's an explanation for this. Calm down.]

Now, look here—I don't have to take this from you. I built you and I can damned well dismantle you again.

[Or not.]

[video]

[stupidmeatbags]

Threat: I would like to see you try, meatbag. I do not need my master's orders to defend myself.

[Action]

[universebeware]

[The small tools that had sprung out of Brainstorm's fingers to do the work here retract, and then he folds his arms, scowling at HK-47 despite lacking a mouth.]

I'm a weapons engineer, not a mechanic, you over-glorified diagnostics droid. I warned you about this beforehand. And honestly, who programmed you? You'd do well to not get so cross with someone tinkering around in your head if you enjoy being able to function as you're used to!

Re: [video]

[forcebonded]

I am your master, you crazy droid!

[a beat, as her brain catches up to the last part of the original broadcast.]

What's this about Surik?

[Action]

[stupidmeatbags]

Threat: Warning, if the thought of touching me again even crosses your capacitors, I will WILLINGLY burn out my behavior core in an effort to override my programming, just for the satisfaction of blowing you away.

MECHANIC.

[Action]

[universebeware]

[Brainstorm doesn't look the least bit impressed.]

Uh-huh. I'm sure your little peashooters will do a smashing good job at bringing me down.

[...and time to have a slight optic-twitch at that name.]

My NAME is BRAINSTORM.

[video]

[electricyousei]

Ruri appears, but with something almost looking like concern instead of her usual deadpan.

"Are you suffering from a virus or poorly coded programing?"

text;

[praenuntium]

[....Sigh. He almost misses it when droids couldn't talk. Though at least Reeve gave Cait Sith an... interesting voice. Unlike this one, which grates on the nerves of most people yet only warrants the same line face everyone earns from him except his friends...sometimes.]

I take it you've found her.

[greyerrant]

She mentioned abominable intelligences like you.

[Video]

[echo_of_a_jedi]

I thought the one working on you was also a droid.

[video]

[stupidmeatbags]

Query: Are your auditory functions not operating? I have already stated that YOU are not a physical match for Master Revan. Pay attention.

Answer: Master Surik is my current owner. Unfortunately.

[Action]

[stupidmeatbags]

Acknowledgment: As you wish, MECHANIC Brainstorm.

video;

[greatergone]

Your protocol functions are bad. I guess that's because you're human built, aren't you?

text;

[stupidmeatbags]

Answer: Obviously, as I have not had the pleasure of killing anything yet.

[Seriously, Meetra. Why do you torture him like this?]

[stupidmeatbags]

Exclamation: Ah! What a wonderful description of me. I didn't know master cared that much.

[video]

[stupidmeatbags]

"Answer: No, I am suffering from a poorly coded mechanic."

[video]

[electricyousei]

"Oh? That seems odd. I didn't know there were automated repair systems here."

[Video]

[stupidmeatbags]

Statement: One that was clearly poorly designed. I do not know where they find their droids, master, but they need to have them reprogrammed.

[video]

[stupidmeatbags]

"Statement: Unfortunately. I may have been better off with the meatbag."

[video]

[electricyousei]

"If you can give me a network node perhaps I could trigger a remote shut down of the unit working on you? As long as its tied into the data grid that is. I work with a lot of AIs and know automated systems can be harsh and beneath them."

video;

[stupidmeatbags]

Statement: Excuse me, my protocol functions are just FINE. I just dislike using them, as they very rarely lead to the death of a well deserving meatbag.

video;

[greatergone]

A rogue AI...

[What an unheard of concept. Then again, the Tau kept their AI and automated machines on a close leash, just to keep them from wanting to kill.]