002 [Video/Public]

[otakuro]

[The screen flickers on to a boy wearing an amused grin.]

Everyone!

I've got good news!  You're forgiven!  The angel I summoned said so himself; God would definitely forgive you in a heartbeat because man's heart is weak, as is his mind, and we're all, uh, susceptible to the workings of the Evil One, and even as we wallow in our filth and sin, we -- You know what, forget God; I forgive you.

Seriously, no one could possibly blame you for what happened last week even if some of us were lucky enough to be scorpion magnets.  Misery has it right - the important thing is to make sure that it doesn't happen again.  If you all missed the announcements from the higher-ups, the people who were affected most severely were Scorpios.  ...If you don't know what that means, in modern times on Earth - that's the 2000s - they were born when the Sun was in the sector of the sky dominated by the constellation Scorpio.  This makes no sense if you were born outside Earth or in a time when we didn't go in for ridiculous things like pretending arbitrary sky-pictures meant anything about our lives, but the important thing is that the sun transitions into Scorpio beginning on October 23rd.

Guess what last week was.

The next sign is Sagittarius.  The sun will shift into its sector on November 22nd.

So let's clear a few things out of the way - Everyone who was afraid, can you report in with your sign?  Same thing if you were a scorpion magnet, though maybe that's more of a subjective thing.  And everyone who's a Sagittarius, do you mind if we tie you to your beds from November, oh, 18th-ish to the 23rd?  Your choices are (Yes/Of course/Definitely).  If your name is Jun, (That's kinda kinky) works, too.  If you don't know your sign, Sagittarius goes from late November into late December - so the end of a harvest season into winter in the Northern hemisphere, and the end of spring into summer in the South.

I'll keep track of the data.  It's kinda my thing.

Oh -- this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm working in the computer labs of the university now.  Drop by if you ever need anything fixed or if you just want to say hi.

Comments

[pastalishe]

You could stand to be a little more considerate. [Wow, Cloche, way to be demanding of a stranger over the Network.] "Afraid" would have been perfectly acceptable.

[otakuro]

O-OK, OK, you were totally afraid, then.

[That doesn't sound any better.]

So... It looks like Leos, Tauruses, and Aquariuses were affected by the Fear...

[pastalishe]

[It does. A little. ... maybe.]

You've mentioned five signs already--Scorpio, Sagittarius, Leo, Taurus, and Aquarius. How many are there in total? I find it disturbing that so many people would be affected by constellations that normally have nothing to do with them.

[otakuro]

There are twelve signs of the zodiac, one for every thirty degrees of the sky or so. It's basically entirely arbitrary, yeah.

[pastalishe]

It's that precise, yet it's still entirely arbitrary? [Zodiacs, man. How do they work? Where's a good lunar calendar when you need one...]

[otakuro]

Well, it's because the constellations are arbitrary. Everyone looks at the stars and sees something different.

[pastalishe]

Your system of the zodiac is absolutely bizarre.

[otakuro]

I-It's not my system. I didn't come up with it.

[pastalishe]

Well, it's from your world. [As far as she's concerned, it's your system!!]

[otakuro]

How is that fair? And there are a lot of us from different kinds of Earths, you know. Maybe it's a different Earth that has zodiac monsters invading every month.

[pastalishe]

Or maybe it's from your Earth and you just never knew about it. [> It seems that this girl doesn't know the meaning of the word "fair"...]

[otakuro]

No, our monsters made themselves pretty obvious, thanks.

[pastalishe]

Don't they always? [Monsters are rarely subtle...] But. ... I suppose it would be difficult to ignore a swarm on this scale.

[otakuro]

I think I would have noticed any giant ten-breasted thousand-eye monstrosities, too. Probably. I mean, maybe it snuck by when I was blinking.

[pastalishe]

There's no need to mention the obscene details! [...] ... I'll give you a pass on the monstrosities. It's more likely they're a peculiarity of this world anyway. Don't expect such lenience in the future!

[otakuro]

Gosh. That's really nice of you. I'll... keep that in mind.