002 [Video/Public]

[otakuro]

[The screen flickers on to a boy wearing an amused grin.]

Everyone!

I've got good news!  You're forgiven!  The angel I summoned said so himself; God would definitely forgive you in a heartbeat because man's heart is weak, as is his mind, and we're all, uh, susceptible to the workings of the Evil One, and even as we wallow in our filth and sin, we -- You know what, forget God; I forgive you.

Seriously, no one could possibly blame you for what happened last week even if some of us were lucky enough to be scorpion magnets.  Misery has it right - the important thing is to make sure that it doesn't happen again.  If you all missed the announcements from the higher-ups, the people who were affected most severely were Scorpios.  ...If you don't know what that means, in modern times on Earth - that's the 2000s - they were born when the Sun was in the sector of the sky dominated by the constellation Scorpio.  This makes no sense if you were born outside Earth or in a time when we didn't go in for ridiculous things like pretending arbitrary sky-pictures meant anything about our lives, but the important thing is that the sun transitions into Scorpio beginning on October 23rd.

Guess what last week was.

The next sign is Sagittarius.  The sun will shift into its sector on November 22nd.

So let's clear a few things out of the way - Everyone who was afraid, can you report in with your sign?  Same thing if you were a scorpion magnet, though maybe that's more of a subjective thing.  And everyone who's a Sagittarius, do you mind if we tie you to your beds from November, oh, 18th-ish to the 23rd?  Your choices are (Yes/Of course/Definitely).  If your name is Jun, (That's kinda kinky) works, too.  If you don't know your sign, Sagittarius goes from late November into late December - so the end of a harvest season into winter in the Northern hemisphere, and the end of spring into summer in the South.

I'll keep track of the data.  It's kinda my thing.

Oh -- this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm working in the computer labs of the university now.  Drop by if you ever need anything fixed or if you just want to say hi.

Comments

[audio]

[getoutclaus]

Sagittarius is next? Shit man that is terrible.

[He doesn't sound too worried, though.]

If you try and tie me to my bed, though, I'll rip your fingers off of your hands, though. So knot happening.

[otakuro]

I know it's hard to tell when someone's joking on the Internet, but you'd think the whole 'video-chat' thing would've helped.

[grumble grumble no one appreciates his humor etc. etc.]

I guess to be fair, there's no guarantee it's gonna happen again. But it seems likely, right?

[getoutclaus]

Hey, I was kidding. You think I'm strong enough to rip anybody's fingers off? Give me a break, man.

Also you should learn to realise that nobody has a sense of humour. Fucking nobody.

[otakuro]

Hey, for all I know, you could keep anything in those pockets. A gun, garden shears, pliers...

[Atsuro sounds fairly even-tempered given he'd been staring down the barrel of said gun. If he wasn't going to blame the Scorpios, he'd hardly blame a Charm effect.]

[getoutclaus]

If I told you what I keep in my pockets then I'd have to kill you, man.

Like, actually kill you this time instead of trying to kill you and failing.

[otakuro]

It's cool; we already know your gun only shoots marshmallows. You were just trying to express your appreciation at the critical hits I was scoring.

[Seriously though that had been kinda scary. The Harmonizer put him at an equivalent strength level as a demon, but he didn't want to test that theory against a bullet if he could help it.]

[getoutclaus]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. No hard feelings then, right?

And, hey, I'll have you know that this gun fires bullets. Six of them, and six shots is more than enough to kill anything that moves.

[otakuro]

Yeah, tell that to the eye-breast-monstrosity-thing we just fought. ...I'm pretty sure even some humans have survived six shots.

Against a demon, you've got to play by their rules.

[getoutclaus]

I was making a reference-- nevermind.

[Atsuro do you even Metal Gear?]

Demons aren't the boss of me, anyways. I think we showed them that the other day.

[otakuro]

[Not even the prince of geeks can catch every reference. Atsuro will feel bad about himself later.]

Yeah? I like to think that humans are strong enough to face anything that wants to wipe us out. Since we're still talking, I haven't been wrong so far.