Is me asking—[He pauses then. Shaking his head. Maybe the pills were working. Just not on the other voices. Still useless, but at least Castor's presence is fading like a ghost he should have never been able to see.]—Is that not good enough a reason for you?
[Does he have to make a list?
Does he have to admit that he's scared shitless of today and tomorrow for her to get it? That he's holding everything in as best he can but he's a pretty shabby container for it, but has seen just enough to keep it bottled down beneath the surface for the most part. That he doesn't know why he's acting this way or if things are going to get worse or better. Just because other people behaving like him doesn't mean he's not going crazy—that they all are—maybe because of the illusionary fear of whatever it is that's going to drop out of the sky and flatten the world in a second attempt to bring about armageddon, or something more troubling and legitimate, like he and the others are all some kind of broken oracle that people aren't paying much attention to as they should.
It's all one big mess of unpredictability. And that isn't safe for anyone.]
no subject
[Does he have to make a list?
Does he have to admit that he's scared shitless of today and tomorrow for her to get it? That he's holding everything in as best he can but he's a pretty shabby container for it, but has seen just enough to keep it bottled down beneath the surface for the most part. That he doesn't know why he's acting this way or if things are going to get worse or better. Just because other people behaving like him doesn't mean he's not going crazy—that they all are—maybe because of the illusionary fear of whatever it is that's going to drop out of the sky and flatten the world in a second attempt to bring about armageddon, or something more troubling and legitimate, like he and the others are all some kind of broken oracle that people aren't paying much attention to as they should.
It's all one big mess of unpredictability. And that isn't safe for anyone.]