"In December, something called Shadows attacked - apparently they were the parts of people they didn't want to admit to. It was kind of a mess. January, it was the 22nd for an entire week - I actually helped deal with that by killing some monsters in a phantom circus. And last month, for Valentine's Day, the fairies kidnapped a bunch of people and threw them into a love hotel so they could make comic books about us."

Slight pause as she holds up a slim volume.

"They did give us complimentary copies, at least."