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I'm... fine.

[He smiles a little thinly, in that way that Johnny will recognize from himself that means 'no I'm not'.]

[Have that look that says 'Bullshit.']

You're lying.

We're not talking about it like this.

Then I'll come to you.

[And with that he hangs up to go track down Otoha, whom he meets with markedly less enthusiasm than he usually does, though he does try for a bit of a smile.]

Now can we talk about it?

[He's just sitting in the little sitting area, leaned up against the wall.]

I guess.

[There's no easy way to say this.]

Look. I remember things that I think... you did. Or had done. Something. I know you wouldn't want pity, but...

[He spreads his hands a bit. 'I'm sorry' doesn't really cut it.]

[He looks away at that and doesn't say anything until he's taken a spot on the same wall as Otoha, his arms crossed as if that could defend him from whatever it was Otoha had in his head.

Of course it wasn't Just Otoha.]

I've got the same thing. Memories of things I swear I've done but, at the same time haven't.

...I've never even set foot in Japan, so they're probably yours.

[Another pause and, this time, a hundred times more awkward and faltering.]

What..what exactly do you 'remember?'

It's a nice place. I'll take you there sometime.

[In theory. If they could get back to the same place. He hasn't even thought of that in a while.]

[He's quiet for a few moments, and when he talks again it sounds almost like he's actually pained.]

... Meeting Jacob. Thinking of me and a bunch of other people as family. Princess Marie. Becoming a captain. Going to America. Going to the opera. Meeting Chris. Becoming a priest.

[The shaking in his voice gets worse.]

Barry changing me - you. Him tearing m - you apart. Him torturing you and raping you.

[He presses his arm against his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears as he lets out a choking sob.]

If... ngh. Just adds more reason for me to kill that bastard if he ever shows up.

Wh... what did you get from me?

[Johnny's blood runs cold as he listens to Otoha go on.Those first things...those weren't so bad. Some of them he might not have shared in detail, but they were all innocent enough. The rest of it, though...he always would have tried to keep it to bare, clinical, facts if they'd ever been brought up. To know they were fresh in Otoha's mind as if they were his own...

He pushed away from the wall and moved closer to Otoha. It felt...awkward, strange, but he reached up wipe at the man's face and moved one of his hands to the back of Otoha's neck...though he couldn't quite bring himself to make eye contact.]

...You'll do no such thing. [Knowing about Barry was one thing, facing him was another, and that thought scared him more than anything.

Of course...he knew Otoha's strength, he knew it first hand now, but his fear of what Barry was capable of still made him doubt.

For now, he would push it out of his mind.]

The yakuza group, Shinjuku...ha...popularity with the ladies mister tall dark and handsome, Hanging out with Reiji...all your wounds.

[He pauses and his other hand traces where he can remember being shot and then presses to the same place on Otoha's body.]

Getting shot and how close to death...you were. Losing Reiji and the bastard who did it. [His hand bunched in the fabric of Otoha's shirt as he thought of the father that wasn't his.]

Talk about killing someone if they ever show up here...and Eko.

[All the feelings that came with that particular memory hurt, not because he felt they were his, but because he knew they were Otoha's and he just wanted to chase away those fears. Otoha wasn't like that, Johnny couldn't imagine it, he was stronger than that. And, as long as he could, Johnny wouldn't let it happen.]

Heh...I also remember our argument in the bar that night...back in Vat. [And boy was that a whole slew of other issues and fears that Johnny wanted to banish from his friend's mind.] Let me just say...it's very strange to remember that argument from both sides-

[An attempt at humor, but it sounded hallow even to his own ears.]

Edited 2013-05-22 05:46 (UTC)

[Otoha leans in and presses his forehead against Johnny's. The contact is... nice, actually.]

We'll kill both of them.

[Mm. He shakes slightly as Johnny brings up Eko. All of those emotions connected with that man... he doesn't want to be like that. But he knows, with enough time, with seeing enough things, he might.]

[Otoha reaches up and touches Johnny's neck gently, brushing his fingers over his skin. Being close with someone... maybe it isn't so scary. It's... still strange for him, but he doesn't trust anyone else. Not like he trusts Johnny.]

[He leans in and presses a kiss to Johnny's lips, before his eyes widen and he pulls away, ducking and trying to race out of the room.]

Well, just make sure you don't trip over Desco, who is just STARING IN DELIGHT, okay?

On the bright side, she doesn't look to have been close enough to actually hear what you were talking about.

[That was....highly unexpected. That wasn't how the game went, Johnny teased Otoha and made advances and Otoha shut him down and nothing went anywhere.

Just as when Chris had kissed him (on the cheek that time but still) over a year ago, he was stunned into stillness for a second. The thought crossed his mind that he should stop Otoha and talk to him...but what would that get? What would he even say?

This all ran through his head in a flash and his hand chose form him, reaching out to grab Otoha's arm and stop him from getting too far.]

Otoha wait.

[His gaze shifts and lands on Desco. Normally, the sight and thought of her brought a smile to his face but, this time, all he could see were her eyes. They were the same color as another person's eyes, someone he refused to think about longer than necessary, and that reminder made him let go.

What if he did confront Otoha and what if they did finally say the right things to each other and it wasn't just teasing this time? What if it went somewhere? He couldn't let it get that far this time...if he did, he'd surely end up ruining one of the most important relationships he still had left; just as he had with every other relationship.

It was better if Otoha left, then Johnny couldn't hurt him.]

...Nevermind.

[And he turned and walked away, himself.]

[Otoha stopped, face red. He didn't want to say anything, but -]

[... He didn't know why he did it. So he just fell silent as Johnny walked away.]

Hey. Otoha. Johnny. You feel that slight tugging sensation on your ankles?

...wait, cancel the 'slight'.

...maybe cancel the 'sensation', too - it seems like you're now being dangled in the air by your feet and carted back into the apartment.

Desco hasn't fully released Usatako for this, just her two primary tentacles, which are extending from the black void in her back as she demonhandles the two of you into the room. Dumping the pair of you on the ground, she smiles brightly. It's a little strange how there's no hint of her usual strangeness in that smile - if it weren't for the fact of her obvious inhumanity, that smile wouldn't look out of place on a normal human.

"Tachikoma is only going to say this once, okay? I'm not letting either of you leave. Desco has been waiting for this for months, and she doesn't feel like letting your weirdo drama ruin things for her! This is Tachikoma's position as the Legendary Police AI!"

...wait what.

Normally, getting dumped on the ground would probably hurt, but it seemed his pain receptors had deadened the more memories he got from Otoha, like the other man's inability to feel pain had come with them.

At least that meant that it was easy enough to recover from the sudden demon-handling. And, seeing as he didn't really want to talk about it, he focused instead on only other obvious problem. "Desco....are you okay?" Cause she definitely wasn't acting herself.

She scowls.

"No! Now kiss!"

Otoha looked over at Desco.

"You're talking strangely."

He blinked at the demand but didn't move from his spot.

"You've got someone else's memories too, don't you?"

"Of course Tachikoma does! You think I'd talk like this on purpose?! Tachikoma doesn't know if she's coming or going, and she can barely even walk properly because she keeps remembering having different numbers of legs! Everything has been going wrong since I got these stupid memories, but Desco won't let this go wrong! Even if Desco makes you mad at her, Tachikoma doesn't care!"

Staring at both of you simultaneously, each of her eyes going in different directions.

"Desco wants you to be happy, and Tachikoma is an idiot that doesn't think of herself! So you have to talk!"

"Desco. There's... it's... complicated. Forcing it isn't really going to fix it right now."

Not to mention that the idea of trying to go through this again is making him start going red again.

Edited 2013-05-25 01:11 (UTC)

Johnny finally moved from his spot but, instead of going to Otoha, he knelt next to Desco and kissed the top of her head.

"We're not mad at you and we certainly don't want you to get upset...it's just...well, sometimes we can't have what we want, no matter how much we want it. That's just how it is."

He glanced at Otoha but quickly turned his eyes back to the demon girl. "Besides...things are rarely as easy as all that. Especially things like this."

Edited 2013-05-25 01:48 (UTC)

At that, Desco smacks Johnny on the shoulder with her open hand - a light blow that won't do damage, tears falling from the eyes that dangle from her ears.

"That's not how it is! Stop talking like a human!"

As she straightens herself up, the golden eye over her heart starts crying as well.

"You aren't human! Tachikoma isn't human! Nobody in this room is a human! So don't...so don't smile at me and say those lying human words!"

"... He's more human than I am."

Otoha just turns and goes to head out the door. He's going to go out and get some air.

Guess what? Desco still has her tentacles out. She lashes out with one of them, curling it around Otoha's midsection and holding him in place before howling angrily.

"IF YOU'RE A DEMON, THEN ACT LIKE IT!"

She pauses for breath, panting angrily, before lowering her voice to something more normal and speaking very precisely.

"If Tachikoma has to break your legs and shove you both in a closet to get the two of you to talk, then she will do it. Don't make the mistake of thinking Tachikoma is anywhere near as human in her thinking as the two of you."

The concentric circles of her pupils have expanded, turning her red eyes into something resembling bottomless whirlpools of black shot through with faint streaks of crimson.

Otoha grabs onto the tentacle and reaches towards his sword. He doesn't turn around, but he doesn't pull his sword out, either.

"I'm not a demon either. I'm a guardian of a city who hasn't been able to protect his city in a very long time. And I don't want to talk right now. There's nothing to say. Besides, he doesn't deserve to be with someone like me. Let me go, Desco. Or I'll make you let me go, and I don't want to hurt you."

His voice is calm, but firm.

In a flash Johnny was by Otoha, a hand on the tentacle and a hand on the wrist that was going for the sword. "Stop. Both of you. None of us are ourselves right now, this isn't the time to be talking about anything."

Golden eyes look to Desco- "Nothing's going to change one way or another, because when they do and something goes wrong there's no fixing it." -and then move to lock with gold-green eyes, his voice quieter. "And you're right, I don't deserve someone like you. Monsters deserve monsters and humans can do better than monsters."

"If anyone's the monster here, it's me. You know that now better than anyone."

He pulled his wrist away from Johnny, and attempted to pry Desco off of him.

"Let me go, Desco."

Desco's actually snarling now.

"Why? So you can leave? Go ahead! Attack Tachikoma! IT WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME MY FAMILY'S TRIED TO KILL ME!"

Johnny almost looked panicked as a burst of his own emotions broke through the borrowed memories.

"No! No one's attacking or killing anyone. Calm down...please." This was his family and it wasn't supposed to fall apart like this.

He put both hands on Otoha's arm, one at his wrist and one at his shoulder. It was to get his attention, but in the back of his mind he kept the possibility he'd have to pop the arm out of it's socket just to prevent anyone from doing anything they'd regret.

"Despite what you may believe, my...your memories have not and will not change my opinion of you."

"Stop it, Johnny. Desco, I'm not going to kill you. Just leave me alone. I just want to leave for a bit."

He had to. He needed to get some air, get some perspective, get some kind of break from this. Everyone he cared about left him. Reiji, - wait. ... Oh.

His face paled slightly as the realization hit him.

"I'm not leaving either of you. I just want to get some air."

He moved to try to shove Johnny away with his free hand.

"Both of you, let me go."

Even despite his usual calm, he was starting to panic slightly at being immobile.

Desco eyes Otoha suspiciously.

"Even if Tachikoma lets you go, I won't leave you alone. Both of you are acting too much like humans to be trusted on your own! You'd do something really stupid if Tachikoma isn't there to straighten you out!"

With Otoha putting into words what Johnny was feeling, he suddenly felt incredibly tired and he mellowed out. He stepped away from Otoha and just went to sit on the nearest piece of furniture he could find.]

It doesn't matter. You should let him go, Desco...he's not the sitting still type.

[He put his chin in his hands and stared at nothing, completely done with the conversation. What if Desco was mad at him? What if Otoha left and didn't come back? He couldn't change it if that was what they wanted.]

Besides, what Tachikoma wants isn't necessarily what you want, right? You should keep that in mind.

"Desco, don't follow me. For one, I want to be alone for a bit. For another, I'm probably going to be places that you shouldn't be."

Stop A: the bar. Stop B: beating up monsters.

"Just let me go."

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