audio; on the shadow train//backdated to the 19th!

[trainwrecking]

[Audio]

[The (strategically chosen) audio feed comes in grainy, but the sound of unrestrained crying rings clear. The boy chokes; incomplete words stumble over themselves, dying just past his lips to make way for another agonized sob.]

H-he took my-- the only person w-who ever really loved-- who ever loved me... H-he killed m-my... my most precious p-person...

The other m-me killed her...

[He sniffles, the sound wet and gross.]

P-please don't let that... t-that thing have another chance to live... He's keeping himself alive by hurting others..! [The feed clicks off quickly, cutting off his last cry.]

[Introspective]

[It's a pain to act like this... But you've been revived from death, what? Twice now? I think it's my turn. You're not even fit to keep yourself alive.]

Comments

[trainwrecking]

That's the one. She's too patient for the SSS. She'll put up with Noda longer than anyone should.

They're all dead. They should stay that way, don't you think? Me, though... I haven't gotten a chance. I'd leave you alone. I wouldn't put Aoi in the hospital. I wouldn't kill children. So... what's the problem? He said himself that his life was worthless.

[...Years ago, maybe. Eh, details.]

[bondsofsuffering]

So all of them should stay dead aside from you...

[A small breath escapes him, almost like a tiny laugh.]

You must be really special, in that case. Since all of the rules can be broken for you and you alone.

[trainwrecking]

You would know all about hypocrisy, Hizumi.

Yes. I can replace that shell of a person. I deserve to live. I want to live for myself! A life lived for others is worthless... just like something out of some stupid shounen manga.

Isn't it?

[bondsofsuffering]

It's like you said. I'd like to live too... But I can't.

Because those are the rules. Even if they apply differently to me, I can't break them.

[It makes it so much harder, acknowledging just how much you want to live when there's absolutely no getting around the fact that you cannot. But he's not about to give his Shadow the satisfaction of seeing him try to push away those feelings again, either.]

But on the topic of living a life for others... Well, that would be up to Otonashi. Ah, the true one, that is.

[trainwrecking]

And you said yourself too: the rules here are different. Following along all the time is such a chore... Sometimes you just have to go for something because you want it.

[The smile that follows is still crooked, but slightly more somber.]

But I am just as true as he is. You should know that.

[Even if Hizumi's Shadow is gone, it existed in the first place. It was a part of the true self.]

My life, my choice. Just like you said. Ah, now, don't you have somewhere else to be?

[bondsofsuffering]

Sorry, maybe you would have preferred "Otonashi mk.I"? "Version 1.0"? It's hard to come up with good ways to differentiate you guys.

[Hizumi, he's not a machine.]

Are you trying to suggest something? I'm a little tired to play around outside today, I'm afraid.

[...It's not to say he can't (and indeed, if it comes down to it, he'll drag himself out of his room) but he'd really prefer not to.]

[trainwrecking]

Or you could use my name. I guess I never bothered to give you the whole thing, though. Introducing is hard enough the first time, to do it again just because I remembered something... eh.

[He shrugs.]

I'm telling you to stay inside. Aren't you a big advocate of staying out of other people's business? Don't be a hypocrite again.

[bondsofsuffering]

Ouch! That hurts. And here I thought you were actually worried about me again.

Well, since you obviously know me so well, you can stop with that. Like you said, I'm the Devil - it just doesn't make sense for me to try playing hero.

[Even if that pretty much cements his decision. He'll just have to figure out some way to avoid interacting directly with the original Otonashi, but if he plays his cards right, he should be able to give enough aid to tip the scales while still being able to beat an escape when he has to.]

[trainwrecking]

I know you still might try to play hero. After all, it's what I would do -- and I remind you so much of yourself.

Whatever. Do whatever you want. That's the only request of mine you'll ever respect, I'm sure.

[bondsofsuffering]

And only in the worst ways. I'm not the only one with a habit of sticking my nose into others' business, here.

[Especially after that fun Q&A session it seems his Shadow gave out.]

Anyway, have fun! May the better Otonashi win.