audio; on the shadow train//backdated to the 19th!

[trainwrecking]

[Audio]

[The (strategically chosen) audio feed comes in grainy, but the sound of unrestrained crying rings clear. The boy chokes; incomplete words stumble over themselves, dying just past his lips to make way for another agonized sob.]

H-he took my-- the only person w-who ever really loved-- who ever loved me... H-he killed m-my... my most precious p-person...

The other m-me killed her...

[He sniffles, the sound wet and gross.]

P-please don't let that... t-that thing have another chance to live... He's keeping himself alive by hurting others..! [The feed clicks off quickly, cutting off his last cry.]

[Introspective]

[It's a pain to act like this... But you've been revived from death, what? Twice now? I think it's my turn. You're not even fit to keep yourself alive.]

Comments

[bondsofsuffering]

You seemed eager to talk about it just a minute ago

Afterall hes the bastard that killed your sister right

Dont you want to find him to bring him to justice?

[trainwrecking]

Not in detail. I don't want to think about that... O-okay?

[Doesn't it sound reasonable?]

Please... I-I don't know what you want from me.

[bondsofsuffering]

You know this whole text to audio thing is really awkward

Why not just switch to full video chat

I bet that would make it easier to understand each other

We could read each others faces instead of relying solely on sound or text

[trainwrecking]

Mhm.

[It's a simple acknowledgement before he cuts the feed.

That had actually... gone better than he expected. Convincing her that he should be the real one, though-- that's difficult.]

[trainwrecking]

[Well, fuck.]

N-no, I--I'm a mess. I can switch to text if you want, but I'm... really gross right now, ahh...

[FUCK.]

[bondsofsuffering]

Dont be shy about it

Ive seen you on the verge of death so some snot or tears arent really going to phase me at this point

Audio > Private audio

[trainwrecking]

... I didn't think you would respond. I thought you were wrapped up in your own business. What a pain...

[No video, but the feed has been swapped to private.]

You're going to insist on this?

Private text

[bondsofsuffering]

Even if you dont show me ive got a pretty good idea

So hiding it at this point is pretty pointless, Shadow.

Private video;

[trainwrecking]

[The hesitation on the other end of the feed must seem agonizingly long. The deep, shaky sigh is the first sound that picks up before the video imagery turns on. The click itself is cheerful, bittersweet.

The narrowed yellow eyes are the first giveaway. But even in darkness, the distinctly marred and blackened skin stands out, some of it still appearing as a freshly burnt wound. He doesn't look like he should even be alive, logically: but the shadows had never been bound by logic.]

You want a prize or something? You're right. You always seem to be right about me, Hizumi... it's annoying to fight with you.

Private video;

[bondsofsuffering]

[And Hizumi obligingly switches to video as well, hiding his distaste for the image behind a smile.]

Not a very pretty Shadow, are you.

[Based on the fact that he died in a fire, perhaps?

...Or is it because he came so close to it?]

You're planning to convince people to attack the real Otonashi while you look like that? Pretty gutsy.

Re: Private video;

[trainwrecking]

Eh, I've never thought of myself as pretty anyway.

[He shrugs, avoiding Hizumi's eyes.]

Maybe so. I don't have very much to lose if I fail. Why should he get so many chances to live when all he does is ruin them? You can sympathize, can't you, Devil?

[bondsofsuffering]

You're a little too late to start prodding at that, I'm afraid.

[He already did the song and dance with the Shadow, leave him alone already.]

...So many chances, though? Then, that time with the fire...

[He's had a sneaking suspicion. And to be fair, Otonashi got a pretty good chunk of information out of his own Shadow from the looks of it.

Prying a little here wouldn't be that big of a deal, right?]

[trainwrecking]

The little heroes of that show have a dirty secret. It's what happens when you don't just live your life alone...

He didn't survive that. The ceiling came down on him. Not exactly something you walk away from.

[Another sigh.] You must have been a little envious. To see someone die when you can't even control your own passing...

[bondsofsuffering]

Envious... Mm, not really.

[People die all the time. It's not like he's going to feel jealous at every single occurrence of it.]

Mostly, I'm curious about how he came back.

[trainwrecking]

But you did warn him. I'm sure you felt something. Anger, maybe?

[The Shadow smiles, the corner of his lip cracking painfully.]

She called it the "Bodhisattva's Eye." She asked him to keep it a secret-- a power like that is dangerous in the wrong hands. Eh... Guess I'm no good at confidentiality.

[bondsofsuffering]

[He shrugs.]

"Annoyance" is probably the better word for it.

[He's definitely downplaying it some, but. We don't need to get into that.]

"She"... would that have been the girl who was with him?

[trainwrecking]

That's the one. She's too patient for the SSS. She'll put up with Noda longer than anyone should.

They're all dead. They should stay that way, don't you think? Me, though... I haven't gotten a chance. I'd leave you alone. I wouldn't put Aoi in the hospital. I wouldn't kill children. So... what's the problem? He said himself that his life was worthless.

[...Years ago, maybe. Eh, details.]

[bondsofsuffering]

So all of them should stay dead aside from you...

[A small breath escapes him, almost like a tiny laugh.]

You must be really special, in that case. Since all of the rules can be broken for you and you alone.

[trainwrecking]

You would know all about hypocrisy, Hizumi.

Yes. I can replace that shell of a person. I deserve to live. I want to live for myself! A life lived for others is worthless... just like something out of some stupid shounen manga.

Isn't it?

[halberdaxe]

Help? With what?

[He's willing to help, alright.]

[bondsofsuffering]

It's like you said. I'd like to live too... But I can't.

Because those are the rules. Even if they apply differently to me, I can't break them.

[It makes it so much harder, acknowledging just how much you want to live when there's absolutely no getting around the fact that you cannot. But he's not about to give his Shadow the satisfaction of seeing him try to push away those feelings again, either.]

But on the topic of living a life for others... Well, that would be up to Otonashi. Ah, the true one, that is.

Audio

[trainwrecking]

I-isn't it obvious..?

[He pauses. Perhaps trying to garner sympathy from the original Noda isn't the best plan.

But revitalizing a weakening rivalry might be.]

F-forget it, you'd probably just hurt someone else! [He sniffles a bit theatrically here and scoffs.] If you're not breaking things, you're trying to curry favor with weird girls who don't even want you..!

[trainwrecking]

And you said yourself too: the rules here are different. Following along all the time is such a chore... Sometimes you just have to go for something because you want it.

[The smile that follows is still crooked, but slightly more somber.]

But I am just as true as he is. You should know that.

[Even if Hizumi's Shadow is gone, it existed in the first place. It was a part of the true self.]

My life, my choice. Just like you said. Ah, now, don't you have somewhere else to be?

[bondsofsuffering]

Sorry, maybe you would have preferred "Otonashi mk.I"? "Version 1.0"? It's hard to come up with good ways to differentiate you guys.

[Hizumi, he's not a machine.]

Are you trying to suggest something? I'm a little tired to play around outside today, I'm afraid.

[...It's not to say he can't (and indeed, if it comes down to it, he'll drag himself out of his room) but he'd really prefer not to.]

[trainwrecking]

Or you could use my name. I guess I never bothered to give you the whole thing, though. Introducing is hard enough the first time, to do it again just because I remembered something... eh.

[He shrugs.]

I'm telling you to stay inside. Aren't you a big advocate of staying out of other people's business? Don't be a hypocrite again.