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001 [Audio]

[ Bucking the trend that seems to have gripped the network these days, there's a new audio post for you all to enjoy.

The man behind the post happens to be blind, but he's only keeping things limited to audio until he has a better idea of what this city and it's inhabitants are like.

Still, he sounds friendly enough. Even if he is just a little straight to the point. ]

Greetings all, Snake here. I arrived in Hinoto-Ri earlier today and a few important questions have only just crossed my mind.

[ Pause for thought. ]

Does relying on a Persona too much have any unpleasant side-effects?

Also, I know each apartment building has 10 rooms per floor, but how many floors does each building have? And are the apartment buildings identical to one another?

My apologies for asking so many questions right off the bat, but I assure you they're important.

Let me know. I'm not going anywhere.

[ You can hear the smile in his voice as he cuts the feed. ]

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Oh hell no, maybe looking inside my head is fine - a little messed up and it pisses me off but whatever - but you're saying he scratched my mask? Not cool Butterfly you giant fucking asshole. I needed that mask.

[Is he done kidding around yet? Probably, because he smirks and takes on a lighter tone.]

But for some people their Persona is a hidden part of themselves; and not the face they wear day in day out. Think Ace and Hongou; if Ace showed up with a loyal and courageous lion as a Persona then that would be the mask he wears to hide his true nature, wouldn't it?

[Speaking of, they already saw that, didn't they? It was like a trainwreck.]

But if that asshole had a Persona based on Janus - you know, the Roman God? - then it'd be his true nature that was hidden deep inside his soul.

[He lets out a semi-hollow laugh.]

If he even has one of those, I mean.

Let's leave the discussion of Ace's eternal soul or lack thereof for another day. Neither of us are Janus so we can't focus on the past and future at the same time.

[ The future being how they're going to cope with being here, natch. ]

That said, he does make a fine example. Ace showed his true self towards the end of the Nonary Game, and his actions throughout the game weren't exactly those of a courageous lion. He was more like a devious predator, so Janus might be a better match for him regardless of whether he was Ace or Hongou. Perhaps he would wind up with a happy medium. Something like the Nemean lion?

[ So long as Atlus don't pick a mythology and stick with it, these guys are free to pick and choose their references.

Snake waves his good hand dismissively. ]

I think we're getting offtrack here. There's reason to be apprehensive, I agree, but I wouldn't avoid using your Persona if it'll put you in harm's way. Do you at least know what your Persona is?

[Yeah, whatever. Junas has two faces too many for Ace anyway.

Actually; Junas is really more of a June Persona than an Ace one when you look at the past and future thing, Santa realises. He doesn't voice this realisation though because drawing any similarity between his sister and Ace makes him feel more than a little ill.]

All I know is that I'm a support type and that my Persona is Santa Claus himself, so no surprises there, right?

[ Snake laughs and suddenly it's as if they weren't having a super serious conversation about mythology and suspicion and the Most Awful Person they're mutually acquainted with. ]

No surprises at all. Santa Claus and a snake, is it? How fitting.

[ Sure sounds like some serious mask scratching. ]

[Dammit Snake now Santa can't not laugh.

Ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha ~~you know the narm charm 9 9 9 laugh don't dare deny it~~]

You mean you got a snake as a Persona? That's deep, man. Real deep!

[ Screw you. 999 is a flawless gem. A masterpiece of a visual novel. Yellow slugs and pizza dough and everything else in between.

~~The Axe Ending has my favourite narm moment. That scream. Jumpy's got lungs.~~ ]

Not just any snake. My Persona is the Egyptian Ouroboros, a Support type.

[ If any of this sounds familiar then blame those pesky Morphogenetic Fields and the Test Drive Meme. ]

Edited 2012-10-09 03:05 (UTC)

Apparently those are more valuable to a group.

Support types, that is.

[or... was that 'less common than combat types'?]

So why Ouroboros? Any theories on that one? You gonna eat yourself, buddy? That's fuckin' weird.

Who knows? If I can't find food in a couple hours then I might just have to.

[ Speaking of being hungry... ]

Our lives could turn out like The Day of the Triffids before we know it.

[ It's like he's daring Santa to ask. Just daring him. ]

So you wanna grab something to eat, then? Get the lay of the land?

[NOPE! Not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask not gonna ask he's not Jumpy no way is he gonna a---.]

And what's a triffid? Sounds like some kinda weird chocolate.

[He couldn't say no to such a juice piece of info. Let he who has not sinned etc.]

You wouldn't want to eat a triffid, Santa! They're dangerous plants from John Wyndham's classic 1951 sci-fi novel.

[ It's unfortunate that Snake hasn't eaten since before the Nonary Game. If he had a full stomach then he could go into great detail about John Wyndham himself. He'd tell Santa about how his real name had been John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Beynon Harris, and about the numerous novels he supposedly wrote under pen names and such. But he doesn't have time for that because his stomach is rumbling and that is unbecoming. ]

The Day of the Triffids is set in a world where most of the population have been stricken blind overnight thanks to a mysterious meteor shower. The protagonist, Bill Masen, was fortunate enough to retain his sight because he was in hospital recovering from a triffid attack at the time and didn't catch so much as a glimpse of those mysterious meteors. Anyway, at one point Bill is captured and forced to help a group of blind citizens find food and shelter.

[ At this point Snake stands up. ]

Which I suppose is relevant to your life as you're being strong-armed into guiding me to the nearest restaurant.

That's why you mentioned the dangerous plants? You can be so fucking weird I swear to--[he huffs, not wanting to admit hat he was expecting something more interesting or at least in depth. He has been infodump denied.]

Alright, let's get going, then.

You got any meals in mind? You probably haven't eaten since then Nonary Game, right? So I'll let you pick.

You should thank me. You never know when random trivia will come in handy.

[ Joke about only having one hand. Reference to Ice-9 and All Ice. Pick whichever you'd prefer. It's 5:10am for crying out loud. ]

I'm not in the mood for anything too complex right now. How about pizza? It's fun and easy to eat.

[ Thank goodness the sight of dead bodies blown wide open wasn't able to put him off eating. ]

[Yeah whatever he'll let that slide then, you smug bastard.]

Alright let's go find us a little slice of heaven.

[annnnd time for a time skip, clearly. Funnily enough, before Snake knows it, they'll be sitting in the restraunt with their food infront of them. Time flies when you're having fun.]

[ That timeskip went well with some much needed snoozing in ruhl life. ]

Don't worry, Santa. I'm not going to force you to bring me to dinner every day. Just until I know where I'm going.

[ He starts eating without further fanfare. ]

So how's life in Hinoto-Ri, aside from what we've already discussed?

It's fine, it's fine.

[Chew chew chew tasty pizza]

You know we can go home whenever, right? I'm just sticking around to see how this shit goes down, seems like some interesting stuff.

I don't have a job yet, though, and obviously I don't have much cash on me. And aside from you I'm the only one of us here that I know of.

Good enough for you?

[ He nods, that's essentially the reason he's sticking around. Snake is a man driven by knowledge and this place is full of stuff he's never even seen.

Er, encountered. ]

You're rather wealthy back home, aren't you? It must be difficult to adjust even if most things have been provided for us.

Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself easily enough.

[Pizza tasty chew chew chew]

But yeah I was loaded enough back home, did Junpei tell you that? What a fucking blabbermouth that boy is.

[And that reminds him,]

Speaking of the man himself; if any of the others show up then who do you hope it is next? And you can't pick Clover.

[ Of course he'd pick Clover, but Santa just had to go throw cold water all over that idea.

Probably a bad analogy on two levels there. My bad. ]

In that case, I'd have to pick Junpei.

[ He's a strong independent protag who don't need no man. Plus he's fun. ]

Your turn. You can't pick June and you can't pick Clover.

[Hey no fuck that shit he is going to talk with his mouth full and spit pizza everywhere.

~~insert parody body gore description of the table covered in globs of pizza dough here~~]

Fuck that noise, the only reason you can't pick Clover is because she was the most annoying person in that place.

[Chew.]

Apart from the old maid.

[Plus she did wear any pantsu; come on snake control your sister.]

[ Ew. It's like he's spitting smashed up face everywhere. ]

The only reason I can't pick Clover is because she's the most obvious choice, Santa. Even you must've known that when you asked.

[ He takes a much more polite bite of pizza, and waits until he's finished chewing to speak. Manners cost nothing, much like this pizza. ]

You can't pick June because she's the most obvious choice for you to make, and you can't pick Clover to avoid you playing the self sacrifice card. I can hear it now, something like...

Oh, I'd bring in Clover to make you happy, Snake.

I wouldn't believe it for a second.

The reason you can't pick clover is because she's Clover.

[Siiiiigh. He's out of Pizza now, so he moves onto his Soda Pop.]

But if I couldn't pick Akane then I sure as hell wouldn't pick Clove to do your ass a favour. Get over yourself, man.

[He gives it a bit of thought and...]

Lotus or Seven, I guess.

[ Soda Pop. Really, Chris?

Snake still has plenty of pizza left. He's a slow eater, you see. Maybe he'll share if Santa asks nicely. ]

Oh, you definitely wouldn't pick Clover, especially not for my benefit. I'm glad we can agree on that. But since this is all hypothetical, I wouldn't put it past you to say you'd bring Clover along when you'd really rather see Seven or Lotus again instead.

[ But before he can hear Santa's reasoning behind those two in particualr, there's a more important issues that must be addressed.

Although let's face it, the only other options are Ace, Clover, Junpei, June, or the 9th Man. The question answers itself. ]

What do you have against Clover all of a sudden? I'd never say anything rude about your sister.

[Sody pop, then. Better?]

You know me so well, Snake. I'm actually a little ashamed of myself over here.

As for Clover? She's just... she's a little bit clingy, loud and rude. Plus I was kidding.

[Also June is an angel so there.]

[ Much better.

And hey now, June is an angel alright. An angel...of death.

Spooky sound effects. ]

Hm, perhaps you should've chosen a better audience.

[ Does he sound annoyed? He's not. He's just messing. ]

Now if you're done kidding around, I have a favour to ask of you.

I wish I could have chose my audience.

[siiiiiipppp]

Yeah, what's up?

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epicbraille - 2012-10-14 23:02 (UTC) - Expand

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001 [Audio]

Pfffffft!!

;V

>:V

B)

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